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LadyPact -> Data (3/7/2013 4:23:00 AM)
I keep coming back to this thought that I've been having tonight. Before I even start, I'm going to quote a part of the FAQ here: quote: Q: Are there any (how many) dominant women into [insert your favorite kink here]? A: While there is no way to answer the question of how many dominant women enjoy a particular activity, we can assure you that if you like it, chances are there’s a dominant woman somewhere in the world who likes it too. However, it’s beyond our ability to guarantee you’ll find one here. What we can guarantee is that, if you post a thread asking how many dominant women like your choice in kinks, many of us will be quick to assume you’re looking for semi-pornographic material to fuel your masturbatory fantasies (i.e. “wank fodder”) and shoot you down in record time. OK. We all get that. Nobody could ever give a definitive answer to the "how many" thing because frankly, that would change on any given day. Even if we found a way to contact every Dominant woman who has electronic communication means to ask them if they enjoyed kink X, time alone and the ever evolving world of female Dominants would never make the research complete. In addition, the "how many like kink X" is entirely too complex to deal with a standard yes or no answer. There's like it, love it, hate it, willing to do it because My partner is an amazing human being, enjoy for fun, enjoy it for profit, or willing to tolerate it for profit. (That last part makes Me want to say rethink your career choice.) If we really want to discuss the subject as a whole, there's also curious, want to do it, but don't know a damn thing about it category. Still, wouldn't even rough percentages be one of the neatest things to know? Especially in the category of Dominant women? We are, after all, one of the most sought after groups in the kink world. Second, I would think, only after the elusive unicorn. (The "unicorn" being the single, bi-sexual female willing to join a poly household.) Isn't wondering "how many women are into kink X" one of the most sought after, yet elusive answers in the kink population?

DarkSteven -> RE: Data (3/7/2013 5:44:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I keep coming back to this thought that I've been having tonight. Before I even start, I'm going to quote a part of the FAQ here: Isn't wondering "how many women are into kink X" one of the most sought after, yet elusive answers in the kink population? It's also one of the dumbest things a man could ask. 1. "Is into/isn't into" is too binary. Collarme has a better range (Lives for, loves, likes, curious about, dislikes, hates, hard limit) that's not bad, but it's still one dimensional. 2. The choice of partner is critical for women especially. A woman will be much more willing to try a new activity with one partner than another. How capable he seems to be with it, how much it means to him, and especially how much he means to her. 3. Asking the question is leading with kink. Not only do most women resent that, but it's also a good way to end up with a woman who's compatible in bed and miserably incompatible out of it.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Data (3/7/2013 8:49:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact In addition, the "how many like kink X" is entirely too complex to deal with a standard yes or no answer. There's like it, love it, hate it, willing to do it because My partner is an amazing human being, enjoy for fun, enjoy it for profit, or willing to tolerate it for profit. (That last part makes Me want to say rethink your career choice.) If we really want to discuss the subject as a whole, there's also curious, want to do it, but don't know a damn thing about it category. The bold part may be one of the most overlooked yet most important factors. It is possible to "convert" someone to a kink they previously had no interest in, yet wasn't a hard limit, just because that someone thinks you're awesome. I'm living proof of this. I was never into rubber/latex. Tried on a rubber skirt once, hated it, and decided I would never do it again. I met someone I considered playing with who liked it, but latex was off the table. He wasn't amazing enough to entice me to consider it. Then I met the XPP (ex-play partner). At the time, I considered him awesome enough to at least try a pair of cheap latex gloves. I liked those well enough to try an inexpensive dress. And then a more expensive dress. Eventually, the XPP demonstrated he was a douchecanoe of epic proportions. But I still like latex! So there will never be any way to compile even a rough estimate, let alone conclusive data, because there's no way to account for the number of dominant women who are "currently not into X but might be into X for the right person" because the women don't know they might be into X. If asked, they would say they were not into X and were unlikely to ever be into X because they haven't met the person who is so amazing that they would be willing to consider X.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Data (3/7/2013 11:33:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Still, wouldn't even rough percentages be one of the neatest things to know? Especially in the category of Dominant women? We are, after all, one of the most sought after groups in the kink world. Second, I would think, only after the elusive unicorn. (The "unicorn" being the single, bi-sexual female willing to join a poly household.) Isn't wondering "how many women are into kink X" one of the most sought after, yet elusive answers in the kink population? Personally, I would find no value in the information. That's why I get so frustrated when people ask "How many people are into _____?" There's a thread that's running right now in which someone asked one of those "how many" questions. My reply was to say that suppose there were a way to find a quantifiable answer, and supposed the answer was that 36,436,309 people are into kink XYZ. Okay, so now what? That's the part that always frustrates me about those questions. If the person who asked the question were able to find the answer, now what? What can possibly be done with the data? How will the answer affect their life? How will it change their situation? Typically, the people asking the questions seem to be "on-line only" wannabe kinksters. They usually haven't built up the courage to find an actual partner, so instead they spend time fantasizing and asking "How many" questions here on CM. IMO, the only number that really matters is 1. Because that's all the individuals who ask those types of questions should be worried about; one. As in ONE person who is willing to become their partner and transform the things that they've fantasized about into a reality. Once they find that one, the other 36,436,308 will quickly become rather irrelevant.

WithBellsOn -> RE: Data (3/7/2013 11:45:13 AM)
I think it would be fascinating information to have, just to know how common or rare certain kinks are -- percentage-wise, obviously you're not going to get a headcount of all dominant women into X. Also, am I the only person who feels that female dominants (and switches who top) aren't actually that rare? If you asked me to hazard a guess based on play parties I've been to, I'd say they were about 50/50 with the men. Obviously that's not what it looks like online... I'm just confused by the apparant discrepancy. Do dominant women prefer to play in public for some reason? It it just my local scene?

LadyPact -> RE: Data (3/7/2013 1:44:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 Personally, I would find no value in the information. That's why I get so frustrated when people ask "How many people are into _____?" There's a thread that's running right now in which someone asked one of those "how many" questions. My reply was to say that suppose there were a way to find a quantifiable answer, and supposed the answer was that 36,436,309 people are into kink XYZ. Okay, so now what? That's the part that always frustrates me about those questions. If the person who asked the question were able to find the answer, now what? What can possibly be done with the data? How will the answer affect their life? How will it change their situation? Typically, the people asking the questions seem to be "on-line only" wannabe kinksters. They usually haven't built up the courage to find an actual partner, so instead they spend time fantasizing and asking "How many" questions here on CM. IMO, the only number that really matters is 1. Because that's all the individuals who ask those types of questions should be worried about; one. As in ONE person who is willing to become their partner and transform the things that they've fantasized about into a reality. Once they find that one, the other 36,436,308 will quickly become rather irrelevant. I think we see it differently. I just think it would be interesting to know. Sure, it's trivial information. Just like it doesn't mean anything to know how many people like green more than they like blue. It's just a neat little factoid. Useless? Maybe, but it is entertaining. I'm not entirely sure if it is useless, either. That might even be especially true in the case that you state. If there really are 38,462 people out there into rope bondage, doesn't that make it sound encouraging that there are a good number of people out there who can teach you? It's not always about finding a partner. It's also possible that people want to know how readily resources are available. Even if not, it's just random curiosity, I suppose. There's no such thing as knowing too much stuff, is there?

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Data (3/7/2013 2:42:30 PM)
Actually, I agree with you. I love trivial information. I can think of many valid reasons why data about the BDSM community would be useful. For example, if I were planning on opening a kinky supply store, it would be useful to have an idea of how large the target market is in my city. So my point wasn't to say that this type of data is always useless. Rather, my point was that the data is typically useless because of how it's asked, and by whom. As an illustration, the way these questions are typically asked goes something like this: A new thread appears in the forum written by someone using the name "Love2drinkpee". Inevitably, it will be his first post on the message boards, and the message will usually say something like "How many Mistresses like to make their slave drink pee?" [8\|] I find those messages to be useless and irritating. Your scenario, on the other hand, would be much more acceptable and informative.

LadyPact -> RE: Data (3/7/2013 3:02:25 PM)
Ohhhhh, that's even better! How many people like rope bondage? Is hemp the most popular? Can we use the information when planning classes at large events? If we've got two types of play that are close in percentages of people with interest, can we have fire presentations one year and electrical the next so we keep things interesting? If we focus on F/m events, what's actually going to bring those couples involved in those dynamics out? There's potential benefit in that. Every time I get on one of My curiosity kinks, it reminds Me of silly things like just how information such as 'names of foods that begin with the letter Q' might just turn out to be useful one day. [:D]

LookieNoNookie -> RE: Data (3/7/2013 4:04:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I keep coming back to this thought that I've been having tonight. Before I even start, I'm going to quote a part of the FAQ here: quote: Q: Are there any (how many) dominant women into [insert your favorite kink here]? A: While there is no way to answer the question of how many dominant women enjoy a particular activity, we can assure you that if you like it, chances are there’s a dominant woman somewhere in the world who likes it too. However, it’s beyond our ability to guarantee you’ll find one here. What we can guarantee is that, if you post a thread asking how many dominant women like your choice in kinks, many of us will be quick to assume you’re looking for semi-pornographic material to fuel your masturbatory fantasies (i.e. “wank fodder”) and shoot you down in record time. OK. We all get that. Nobody could ever give a definitive answer to the "how many" thing because frankly, that would change on any given day. Even if we found a way to contact every Dominant woman who has electronic communication means to ask them if they enjoyed kink X, time alone and the ever evolving world of female Dominants would never make the research complete. In addition, the "how many like kink X" is entirely too complex to deal with a standard yes or no answer. There's like it, love it, hate it, willing to do it because My partner is an amazing human being, enjoy for fun, enjoy it for profit, or willing to tolerate it for profit. (That last part makes Me want to say rethink your career choice.) If we really want to discuss the subject as a whole, there's also curious, want to do it, but don't know a damn thing about it category. Still, wouldn't even rough percentages be one of the neatest things to know? Especially in the category of Dominant women? We are, after all, one of the most sought after groups in the kink world. Second, I would think, only after the elusive unicorn. (The "unicorn" being the single, bi-sexual female willing to join a poly household.) Isn't wondering "how many women are into kink X" one of the most sought after, yet elusive answers in the kink population? I find your question nebulous. Nowhere in your quest did you discuss the specific kink, nor did you mention what you were wearing at the time you posited this. I simply don't have enough information to offer guidance.

LadyPact -> RE: Data (3/7/2013 5:02:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WithBellsOn I think it would be fascinating information to have, just to know how common or rare certain kinks are -- percentage-wise, obviously you're not going to get a headcount of all dominant women into X. Also, am I the only person who feels that female dominants (and switches who top) aren't actually that rare? If you asked me to hazard a guess based on play parties I've been to, I'd say they were about 50/50 with the men. Obviously that's not what it looks like online... I'm just confused by the apparant discrepancy. Do dominant women prefer to play in public for some reason? It it just my local scene? Speaking as the person who has, literally, been the only Dominant female in the room at certain gatherings, as recently as two years ago, I'd say we have different experiences. There are also different ways to look at it. Tops are not necessarily Dominant. Easier to find for play, a scene, or a succession of scenes. Yep, this is going to piss people off, but there is no denying that some folks have a problem with switches because they can't get past the fact that they have a submissive side, themselves. There are also certain facets to some Dominant women that don't even seem 'Dominant' to some people. (Weird, I know.)

compliantchris -> RE: Data (3/7/2013 9:54:23 PM)
quote: Also, am I the only person who feels that female dominants (and switches who top) aren't actually that rare? If you asked me to hazard a guess based on play parties I've been to, I'd say they were about 50/50 with the men Here's an overview of the currently very small amount of research on kink roles. It pretty much confirms the current stereotypes, but you can take issue with the methodologies or the samples; it's not like this is definitive. Although I prefer it over comparing anecdotes. quote: or willing to tolerate it for profit. (That last part makes Me want to say rethink your career choice.) I don't think that's particularly fair. Do you tell workers in normal jobs to rethink their career choice if they tolerate things about their work for more money? Okay, that sounded more judgmental then I meant it, but that comment irks me a little.

LadyPact -> RE: Data (3/8/2013 1:37:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: compliantchris I don't think that's particularly fair. Do you tell workers in normal jobs to rethink their career choice if they tolerate things about their work for more money? Okay, that sounded more judgmental then I meant it, but that comment irks me a little. Absolutely. Anybody who is unhappy with the work that they do should give some thought to doing work that they enjoy, even if that might mean less money. The average person spends roughly a third of their life working. If you've got a shot at doing something you really like, rather than something you don't, why not go for it?

LadyPact -> RE: Data (3/8/2013 2:52:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan The bold part may be one of the most overlooked yet most important factors. It is possible to "convert" someone to a kink they previously had no interest in, yet wasn't a hard limit, just because that someone thinks you're awesome. I'm living proof of this. I was never into rubber/latex. Tried on a rubber skirt once, hated it, and decided I would never do it again. I met someone I considered playing with who liked it, but latex was off the table. He wasn't amazing enough to entice me to consider it. Then I met the XPP (ex-play partner). At the time, I considered him awesome enough to at least try a pair of cheap latex gloves. I liked those well enough to try an inexpensive dress. And then a more expensive dress. Eventually, the XPP demonstrated he was a douchecanoe of epic proportions. But I still like latex! So there will never be any way to compile even a rough estimate, let alone conclusive data, because there's no way to account for the number of dominant women who are "currently not into X but might be into X for the right person" because the women don't know they might be into X. If asked, they would say they were not into X and were unlikely to ever be into X because they haven't met the person who is so amazing that they would be willing to consider X. I agree. This is the missing element. It is one of the factors that makes such data not only impractical as fact, but impossible to collect. This doesn't necessarily change My stance on the "don't expect to be the exception to the rule" theory. I'm more inclined to think that if something is on a Dominant woman's hard limits or hates list, the person can still be spectacular, but she's not willing to accept certain things. Seriously, when women say no married men, no men over a certain age, or a particular kink that squicks her out, that is "move on" territory. Areas where a woman is ambivalent might be a different story. I think that would depend on how open the woman is to a different activity and how cool the partner that she is dealing with might be.

TheLilSquaw -> RE: Data (3/8/2013 6:21:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact There's like it, love it, hate it, willing to do it because My partner is an amazing human being, enjoy for fun, enjoy it for profit, or willing to tolerate it for profit. (That last part makes Me want to say rethink your career choice.) If we really want to discuss the subject as a whole, there's also curious, want to do it, but don't know a damn thing about it category. I have always been open minded. However,I have discovered that with my primary I am way more open and excited to do things I would normally not have done. Hell, have flat out refused to do before. With him, I not only am willing to do them but I enjoy them. It has everything to do with me just being that into him and thinking he is an amazing man. I will also say that as a pro switch. I will NOT do anything in a session either as a dominant or submissive that I wouldn't do in a regular session either with one of my slaves or my primary partner. That is a personal choice though. I know many people who do things for profit, who wouldn't do it on a personal level. I know several men who do gay porn, who are ONLY gay for pay. I know a woman, who does anal in videos but will NOT do anal on a personal level. Heck, I know a woman who is not into scat but agreed to do a scat session where she facesat a bottom then took a dump on his chest.

cloudboy -> RE: Data (3/11/2013 9:07:28 AM)
Its a common theme that guys feel there just isn't a special woman out there for them.

pig5lave -> RE: Data (3/11/2013 9:28:03 AM)
I am SO disappointed that I have not - as yet! - thought of starting a thread entitled: 'How many dominant women are interested in keeping their own human pig'...........!! Just for statistical research, obviously................(There is yet time.......)

LaTigresse -> RE: Data (3/11/2013 7:02:16 PM)
The only hog this dominant woman will ever 'keep' would end up in pieces, in the deep freeze, until said woman decides to cook it. The very word 'pig', in reference to a human being, disgusts me. As for the OP.....something I've found interesting about myself, is that there is no specific BDSM activity I am so drawn to that I MUST do it. There are things that I think, "Cool! I gotta try that someday!" or "Mmmmm, that looks interesting.". But to say I really need to be able to, no. My interest has always been more about the power exchange. Knowing I CAN do......xyz, whatever xyz is.......because of the relationship dynamic. There are things I've done that I never thought I would do. But because a specific woman introduced me to them, explained what it meant for her, I was totally into it. But given another woman, with a different energy, those things might actually be a turn off. There are some things that totally hit a squick note for me and no matter what, I won't even consider them. To the point that any woman that did express an interest in them, would likely ruin the relationship. And then there are things that, don't necessarily create a strong reaction either way, but no........ not gonna happen. Nothing about it interests me and, just no........I'm not going to be a fetish delivery system. Hey, I'm in this to have fun. To get MY jollies. If I'm not having fun, ain't no one around me going to have fun either.

LadyPact -> RE: Data (3/11/2013 7:06:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pig5lave I am SO disappointed that I have not - as yet! - thought of starting a thread entitled: 'How many dominant women are interested in keeping their own human pig'...........!! Just for statistical research, obviously................(There is yet time.......) It's actually the repeated threads from males that got the part that I quoted from the FAQ added to that section in the first place. Trust Me. They don't go over well here.

MistressDarkArt -> RE: Data (3/11/2013 9:00:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Q: Are there any (how many) dominant women into [insert your favorite kink here]? Every time I see that posted here, I figure the guy is doing the requisite shout out for attention saying, "Hey, who wants to supply my fetish delivery system?!" I think the data on 'how many' would falsely encourage these guys if they actually knew. However, that's all for naught if they can't get a single one interested in them first, their fetish(es) second. And FFS shout-out dudes, please learn the difference between woman (one woman) and 'women' (more than one woman)...as in, "I want to find a 'women' who will sit on my face then crap on my chest." (Sorry, I'm grumpy tonight. My neck is tweaked and it really hurts.)

seekingOwnertoo -> RE: Data (3/16/2013 6:03:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Still, wouldn't even rough percentages be one of the neatest things to know? I will be honest here .. because clearly ... I have NO idea what the rough percentages are ... but i do know ... it is as easy to go out on a date with a Domme, as it is in vanilla. That said, sometimes it requires a bit MORE travel to go out with a Domme ... but that is another statistical category. No? [;)] There really is no difference between dating a Domme, or a vanilla Lady ... except .. for the methods of expressing affection. [;)] Be willing to go to a nice restaurant of Her choice .. let Her pick the wine ... and even if its Veuve Clicquot, be eager to please. And see if a relationship develops over time. Perhaps my comments are a bit out of line with this thread ... but the question is typically asked ... because newbies have no clue what they are doing. If they did, they would discover many of the worlds most intelligent, gracious, charming and thoughtful Ladies, are in fact, also Dommes. And in THAT percentage of the population ... the ratio of Dominant to vanilla is really equal!

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