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MAINEiacMISTRESS -> RE: should Doms be faithful? (3/11/2013 1:13:47 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyPact
quote:
ORIGINAL: JeffBC
I'll go you one further. That is considered edge-play in the male dom world. The moment some male dominant talks about restricting who is sub/slave can talk to the cries of abuse start echoing in the thread.
Let's put this out there, though. Regardless of gender, when a Dominant wants a person to sever contact with everyone that the person knows, I don't take that to be a good sign. Especially family and friendships that were in existence prior to the dynamic. I tend to see that as an attempt at seclusion and that can be a warning sign of the relationship becoming abusive.
That's something different than a Dominant spotting a relationship that the submissive has with somebody else where the relationship is toxic or the other person is attempting to interfere with the dynamic.
Well said, I believe people need a network of friends to be healthy, and a network of healthy friends to keep life in perspective, so I encourage interaction with friends and relatives unless they are as you put it, "toxic".
However, when we are agreeing to a D/s dynamic--and Mine are for longterm--I do prefer subs limit or eliminate other Dominants who might interfere with O/our dynamic by influencing their thinking or behavior. For instance, if we have a certain "thing" going, perhaps something we are working on together (if I am Coaching them on a Life Goal for instance), and an outside Dominant is trying to fix a different set of ideas in My sub's mind, that's definitely not going to fly with Me since it's counterproductive, and a good sub SHOULD be able to eliminate that outsider on his own---preferably without My urging or limiting him---in support of our relationship.
As for the original OP's question, "Should Doms be faithful?" Well, if the Dominant is looking to have more than one sub, obviously it's not a monogamous relationship, however they CAN be "faithful" to both subs within a polyamourous relationship. If monogamy is important to you, then that should have been established UP FRONT, before any D/s dynamic was entered into. Once the D/s is established and you as a sub try to enforce rules for your Dominant, well that's topping from the bottom and most Dominants aren't going to respond well to it, to say the least. You might want to ask for a "time-out for renegotiation" if He is willing to do so, and then the two of you can figure out where the relationship is actually headed.
Collars have different meanings in different relationships. You and your Dominant will have to establish what a Collar would mean in yours before determining "when" is the right time for one. From the questions you've posted I'd say you are still quite a ways from that point.
--MM
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