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MasterXDominator -> New to this (3/10/2013 3:27:28 PM)

I'm really just getting started with this, and was wondering if anyone could give me any pointers on what I should say and do to attract more submissive women. I am a dominant man and would really like to get more into all of this stuff just having a tough time getting started.



LadyPact -> RE: New to this (3/10/2013 3:29:58 PM)

Right now, you're probably submissive women repellant to some. Very much the case for those where "new to this" and "Master" are at the opposite ends of the spectrum.



Lynnxz -> RE: New to this (3/10/2013 3:30:24 PM)

How about not calling yourself a master in one breath, and then admitting you have no idea what you're doing because you're new. Nothing inherently wrong with either of those things, but put them together and things don't quite add up.



smartsub10 -> RE: New to this (3/10/2013 3:47:34 PM)

How do you attract women in general? Start with that.



lizi -> RE: New to this (3/10/2013 4:20:08 PM)

In your profile you say that you are new, but also say that you are strict and that you will punish for wrong doing, and this is wiping out your chances before you ever get to Go. If you don't know what you are doing, and are telling me that you're going to be aggressively hands on, then I'm going to avoid you like the plague as I'm not going to end up in the emergency room because you decided to jump in and act out the part of a Dom.

You're asking a lot to tell submissives up front that you don't know what you are doing, and yet you're going to be treating them with a heavy hand. It's like never having a driving lesson and announcing you're going to sign on to Nascar. You want to sound like you know what you're doing with the profile statements on Dominantion, but you don't actually know what you're doing. Get yourself straight with coming across like you are on the same page with both things, and maybe someone will give you a shot at starting out with a few things on the easier end of the BDSM scale; you don't jump in and start threatening to punish people.

You also have interests listed in your profile that imply that you know bondage, canes, crops, breast play, spanking, mental bondage, etc...if you haven't done these things in real life get them out of your profile, or check them as being "curious about" if you like the sound of it and haven't done it yet. Whips???? Wtf! Whips are so far out of your skill level that you don't even know how ridiculous it is that you have them listed in your interests without a 'curious about' notation. People study with a whip for a loooong time before doing them on someone. Just seeing that listed, whips, I'd laugh and block you so I wouldn't forget later on that you were utterly out of your league here, and would do me some serious harm if I allowed you to be in my presence.

Honestly Dude, nothing really makes you look like a wanna be more than misrepresenting yourself, and submissive women don't find that Domly. They're careful about who they give access to their bodies. We're the ones taking on damage if you dont know what the hell you are doing. Who will believe you or grant you respect as a Dominant if you show you cannot be honest with them by the misrepresentation? You're coming across as a HNG by labeling yourself a Master and then listing things as though you've had experience. Some women might give you a chance if you're honest, and give them some reason to want to get to know you as a person.



OsideGirl -> RE: New to this (3/10/2013 4:22:04 PM)

You could start by not calling yourself a Master. The second part would be treat women as women first, submissive second.

I would suggest reading some of the books that are on the reading list here. (Resident Sadist has a link in his posts). Get out into your local community and attend events. And lastly, find yourself a male Dominant that has had a successful D/s BDSM relationship and ask them to be a mentor.



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: New to this (3/10/2013 5:27:16 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Right now, you're probably submissive women repellant to some. Very much the case for those where "new to this" and "Master" are at the opposite ends of the spectrum.


This. ^^^^



poise -> RE: New to this (3/10/2013 5:45:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterXDominator

I'm really just getting started with this, and was wondering if anyone could give me any pointers on what I should say and do to attract more submissive women.

Be authentic. Trying to attract someone via use of a script will never work in the long run.
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterXDominator
I am a dominant man and would really like to get more into all of this stuff just having a tough time getting started.

Regardless of whether you are a dominant man or a purple polka dotted man, "getting into all this stuff"
isn't going to be easy without a partner to get into it with, and as you are learning, simply saying you are
dominant isn't magically luring submissive women to your feet.

Find some specific interests in "all this stuff" and learn more about them. Perhaps you'll find a girl
along the way who likes you for you, and would be willing to try them with you.



Hillwilliam -> RE: New to this (3/10/2013 5:59:29 PM)

OP. Think of the term Master like the old school guilds. A Master in whatever skill didn't earn that title until he had years of hands-on experience and instruction from the best in the business.
A person using the title Master when he is new is sure fire sub repellent. I've been doing this off and on for a bit over 30 years and still don't consider myself Master anything. I'm just a Dominant. I feel I'm a good one mostly because I know my limitations.



Dominus4u -> RE: New to this (3/11/2013 6:09:09 AM)

Understand one thing...while we all start someplace, I can appreciate that you are asking for help. However, you are asking for help finding submissive women...not asking for Mentoring. This is what you should be seeking long before collaring a hapless green sub (you'd never get an experienced one...they'd see right through your inexperience).

This is a matter of safety...as a Dominant, you take on responsibilities that need to be regarded with the most serious of consideration and follow-through. It isn't about just getting what you want, when you want it...there is a price for the gift of submission. This is what you should be learning first. You can cause one Hell of a lot of damage to a prospective submissive...not just in a physical sense, but emotionally and mentally.

Again, it is good that you want to learn about this part of who you are, but don't put yourself or any potential submissives in a bad situation by not knowing all you need to before taking on the responsibilities of ownership.



DarkSteven -> RE: New to this (3/11/2013 6:17:12 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam
I've been doing this off and on for a bit over 30 years and still don't consider myself Master anything.


Gee, William, I've been doing this for about ten years off and on and I'm not a Master. I hope in twenty years to be where you are. [:D]



Killerangel -> RE: New to this (3/11/2013 6:26:51 AM)

Here's a pointer- have you done any reading, watching demos, talking to people who do this, etc? Then do that and find out about the things you have checked off on your profile. For instance Breast Play isn't touching titties, and Bondage isn't as simple as tying someone up - you need to know the safety precautions and what you are doing.

If you know what you are talking about. at least then when you talk to submissive women they might continue a conversation with you. You're probably having a tougher time than need be if you're acting like you know more than you actually do, and they're seeing right through you. Get to know a woman as a person; if they like you, the person, they might get naked with you- no different really then how to get a woman outside of BDSM. The Master title has got to go too, you cant' change it except to start a new profile, and when you do start that new profile, don't put down things that you have no experience in unless you say somewhere that you're interested in those things as opposed to having done them.



Hillwilliam -> RE: New to this (3/11/2013 7:40:43 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven


quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam
I've been doing this off and on for a bit over 30 years and still don't consider myself Master anything.


Gee, William, I've been doing this for about ten years off and on and I'm not a Master. I hope in twenty years to be where you are. [:D]

In some areas, Steven, you're way ahead.



SeekingTrinity -> RE: New to this (3/11/2013 8:00:30 AM)

~FRing it~

First rule of dom club is we dont talk about dom club

Second rule of dom club is you dont call yourself Master until you've mastered yourself...and all the stuff that goes along with it. Its more than just an honorific title you bestow on yourself. Its a craft in its own right and something you have to work, learn, and grow into. Ive been doing this for about 18 years myself and I still cant bring myself to refer to myself as a Master (well the female version of it anyway). All I can realistically claim is dominant female. There is always something to learn. For me personally, Ive always held the belief that the titles are bestowed upon us by the submissives. Not something we brand ourselves with and then try to get submissives to buy what we are selling.

As a self confessed "new to all this stuff" dude, what skills have you learned to call yourself Master? I can call myself a master craftsman, but truth be told I dont know shit about power tools, woodworking, or crafting stuff. I like that you are seeming to try to learn (giving you the benefit if the doubt), but Im not about to go trying to help you score with the ladies. Its about more than that. Submissives (be they male or female) are about more than that.



UllrsIshtar -> RE: New to this (3/11/2013 8:05:46 AM)

Most other people already have addressed the fact that your profile reads as following:

"I want totalitarian control, but I have no fucking clue about what the hell I'm doing".

So I wanted instead to focus on the following bit:

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterXDominator

what I should say and do to attract more submissive women


The number one thing any dominant man can do to attract more women is to stop worrying about what he's supposed to say or do to attract more women.

Once you reach the point where you're confident enough to be yourself, just because you're too damn proud and stubborn to be anything else... the women will come.

Until that time, you wont attract any woman who is of the caliber that the above described dominant would even consider putting up with.




JeffBC -> RE: New to this (3/11/2013 8:28:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterXDominator
I'm really just getting started with this, and was wondering if anyone could give me any pointers on what I should say and do to attract more submissive women. I am a dominant man and would really like to get more into all of this stuff just having a tough time getting started.


Step 1: Forget everything you think you know right now. It's wrong. You won't believe me. But it was worth saying.
Step 2: Find someone who actually knows something and HUMBLY ask questions. Here'd be a fine place.
Step 3: Figure out if you are actually dominant based upon the answers to those questions. If not, figure out what you ARE after.
Step 4: Armed with a clear idea of who you are and what you want, rewrite your profile. Try to make it sound like a well balanced adult wrote it.

It might help if you could answer this question. Why, exactly, would anyone be privileged to be punished by you? Be specific. Be concrete.



littlewonder -> RE: New to this (3/11/2013 8:00:22 PM)

Every time someone makes a post like this I always wonder how they got a date before they got into bdsm.

I mean, the dating thing really is not any different whatsoever. If you couldn't get a date with a "vanilla" you won't get one in bdsm either.



Kana -> RE: New to this (3/12/2013 11:33:11 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterXDominator

I'm really just getting started with this, and was wondering if anyone could give me any pointers on what I should say and do to attract more submissive women. I am a dominant man and would really like to get more into all of this stuff just having a tough time getting started.

Send em pictures of your massive Johnson.
Always a can't miss lead there...



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