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RE: What did I say? - 3/16/2013 5:50:02 AM

TieMeInKnottss

Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheWriter13

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

I'm a masochist who has been in an M/s relationship for 3 years, with about another 7 years of 'play' behind me.

And yet if someone mentioned the word 'knife' as part of a fantasy I'd probably react in the say way as your gf.

Why?

Because a few years ago I met a real sick freak who had a knife. The nightmares are pretty much gone now, but knives are a hard limit. My reaction to any suggestion of play with knives (even just using them to cut off clothes) would see me react in a similar way to your gf.

Have you thought that perhaps your gf has had a negative experience with knives? Or rope? Or gags? Or maybe all 3?

It's one perspective to ponder, along with all of the other excellent points made by other posters.

Well I've mentioned stuff like this before and she's seemed okay with it. Once she even said she liked the idea of being choked now was I into it no. But did I start freaking out screaming "Get the hell out!" Honestly we've watched movies where a guy cuts a girl's shirt off and she seemed into it. One minute we were having a polite conversation and she's like "Hey what would really turn you on?"

It's been a while since we talked and I'm starting to think she was just looking for a reason to break up with me further more she's the one that got me into the rough stuff.

Honestly...at this point it is not worth fixing. Some people think they are over things, see or read something they think sounds hot, they change their minds about what they want. IT DOES NOT MATTER WHY! You must accept it. Based on your side of the story...maybe you had no reason to expect such a reaction. You all had had similar discussions, experiences, done things together that made you think that even if she wasn't interested, she would just say "no way..dream on".... The reality is that wasn't how she responded. Accept it, let it go. Move on...

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RE: What did I say? - 3/16/2013 9:09:18 AM

SomethingCatchy

Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheWriter13

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

I'm a masochist who has been in an M/s relationship for 3 years, with about another 7 years of 'play' behind me.

And yet if someone mentioned the word 'knife' as part of a fantasy I'd probably react in the say way as your gf.

Why?

Because a few years ago I met a real sick freak who had a knife. The nightmares are pretty much gone now, but knives are a hard limit. My reaction to any suggestion of play with knives (even just using them to cut off clothes) would see me react in a similar way to your gf.

Have you thought that perhaps your gf has had a negative experience with knives? Or rope? Or gags? Or maybe all 3?

It's one perspective to ponder, along with all of the other excellent points made by other posters.

Well I've mentioned stuff like this before and she's seemed okay with it. Once she even said she liked the idea of being choked now was I into it no. But did I start freaking out screaming "Get the hell out!" Honestly we've watched movies where a guy cuts a girl's shirt off and she seemed into it. One minute we were having a polite conversation and she's like "Hey what would really turn you on?"

It's been a while since we talked and I'm starting to think she was just looking for a reason to break up with me further more she's the one that got me into the rough stuff.

Your posts in this thread scream of immaturity. You're stuck in your own head and your own life and incapable of seeing others' or thinking outside of your own box.

That's okay. You're 22 years old. You've got years to develop a sense of respect for other people's differences and how to treat women. You've also got years to come to grips with how to talk to women, treat women, and potentially own women.

I'm going to take a stab that your girlfriend is the same age, if not younger, than you are. That puts her right up there with your level of (im)maturity. Don't be shocked that she freaked out. Learn from it. Figure out that the way a dominant man responds is with compassion and respect. Even if that means walking away.

You think she's looking for an excuse to break up with you? Possibly. Who cares? It might hurt your feelings and make you upset, but yet again - learn from it and realize that a dominant man responds with compassion and respect. That means FOR HIMSELF as well as everyone around him.

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RE: What did I say? - 3/16/2013 4:22:29 PM

wannapleez

Posts: 358
Joined: 1/26/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheWriter13
Her idea of fun is candles and a romantic night on the beach

I get her last boyfriend wasn't a nice guy and she's still not over some of the things he did to her

Under ordinary circumstances, neither gender ever understands the other one. And if stereotypes are to be believed, that is especially true of men understanding women.

But you had two HUGE BLINKING NEON LIGHTS that even Stevie Wonder could've seen, staring you in the face, and you missed them. I should be so lucky as to have that much insight into a woman that I'm in a relationship with.

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RE: What did I say? - 3/16/2013 6:16:16 PM

HisPet21

Posts: 395
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God, Athena, you are so frigging eloquent.

I love reading your advice, even when I'm not the Op. :)

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RE: What did I say? - 3/16/2013 6:37:41 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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Was there a question here?

She's not into what you are. You two are incompatible. If she hasn't returned your calls, she is no longer your girlfriend.

ETA: In your thread you say she is into romance and candlelight. In the response you say she's the one who got you into the rough sex.....hhhmm...personally, it doesn't sound like you knew her very well. I'm going to say this relationship was probably only days or weeks old. Learn from it and move on.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 3/16/2013 6:47:19 PM >

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RE: What did I say? - 3/16/2013 6:46:19 PM

hlen5

Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheWriter13

..................further more she's the one that got me into the rough stuff.

She overreacted and the rough stuff was her fault. Got it.

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Post #: 26