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RE: Training for the long-term - 3/15/2013 5:45:12 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: reverseosmosis

unless it is 41-28=23, but am not into stuff like that...




NOOOOO!!!!!!!

41-28=13!

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to reverseosmosis)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Training for the long-term - 3/15/2013 6:25:25 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		OK, I know it was one of Jim Carey's worst films ever, but am I the only one who's seen it?


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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Training for the long-term - 3/15/2013 8:12:31 PM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

OK, I know it was one of Jim Carey's worst films ever, but am I the only one who's seen it?



I was going to make a joke but I won't spoiler it just in case you've got someone interested in watching it.

I've seen it. I wouldn't say it was one of his worst (though far from his best) but perhaps that's just because I don't like his OTT comedy so anything where he plays a serious role is a step up.

Anyway -

OP - well maybe this is just some elaborate way to pique your curiosity and get you begging and panting for what she wants to do. Personally I'd find it a little manipulative if someone used that sort of technique on me instead of talking like adults and deciding if we were both up for the same sort of process. Either way, I'm still going for 'press the issue'. Find out where you stand and then you can decide what to do.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Training for the long-term - 3/15/2013 8:45:17 PM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		Firstly the use of "breaking" is a huge red flag to me, i'd be getting the hell out.

That aside, age isn't everything. Master is 15 years younger than me and we've been together since June 2004. However, that was after protracted serious discussions establishing that children were not something He wanted, as i was incapable of providing them. As luck would have it, His former sub with 4 kids had cured Him of that LOL!

I am also Domme, and there is a sub I have been talking with for a couple of years while we were travelling. he is 26 ... I am 56. Lucky boy, I happened to get a job where he lives! We have had 2 coffee type meets, he is currently away on a holiday that was booked ages ago, but when he gets back, we will arrange a play session. I have said upfront that I am dubious that he would become a LTR simply because he is so young and what he wants out of life may yet change. But he is adamant that he wants to play and serve Me with that caveat in mind. I have a rule of never saying never, so am willing to take it on face value and see what develops, always with fair negotiation on both sides, and no hard feelings should we decide to end things later on.

So what this comes down to is this: Age of itself need not be a barrier unless it is to one or both people in the relationship. However, I'd have more respect for the D in question if She was being open and honest in the negotiation and giving the sub chance to express his feelings about the situation too. Similarly I would have had more respect for the sub if he'd not tried to paint this as being a hypothetical relationship only to give himself away later ...

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Training for the long-term - 3/16/2013 10:07:23 AM   
ServiceBoy89


Posts: 63
Joined: 10/19/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: reverseosmosis

Hi, I want to describe a hypothetical situation:
The sub male is 28 and the dominant woman is 41. They have known each other 3 years. Its a romantic, loving relationship which somehow also combines domination. She is successful and wealthy. In a conversation she mentions that this cannot last long because of the age difference. She further states that its possible, but she'd have to break him and train him into a pet and she doesn't have the heart to do that to him. After that she tends to not talk about the subject and yet the sub's curiosity is sky high about it.

What could he expect if he was turned into her "pet"? How would a dominant woman go about it? Why don't older-women-younger-men relationships not work long-term and is this an effective solution? What can the sub hope for or has to lose from such?

Thanks, sorry to bother.


This sounds danger to me.May be a sadist?Seriously if it was me thought I'am not so much in BDSM I will be extremely carefull what to do.First I will ask her what turns her on?What she want to do to her sub?

(in reply to reverseosmosis)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Training for the long-term - 3/16/2013 10:29:08 AM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: reverseosmosis

Well, its like she doesn't want to answer and its not proper for me to press the question. Can't you just answer what you would do in her situation? Just curious.


If this is true ... I would lay odds that She likes you, enjoys You, but doesn't want it to GO ANY FURTHER.

She is telling you No .. nicely.

This is just my gut feel, from REAL experience.

Only you can determine it, by asking her.

(in reply to reverseosmosis)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Training for the long-term - 3/16/2013 12:24:00 PM   
MissToYouRedux


Posts: 867
Joined: 1/23/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: reverseosmosis

Hi, I want to describe a hypothetical situation:

The sub male is 28 and the dominant woman is 41. They have known each other 3 years. Its a romantic, loving relationship which somehow also combines domination. She is successful and wealthy. In a conversation she mentions that this cannot last long because of the age difference. She further states that its possible, but she'd have to break him and train him into a pet and she doesn't have the heart to do that to him. After that she tends to not talk about the subject...





Were you asking her about the future, OP? You have a 3 year relationship, apparently still going strong. It's my guess she's saying "Live in the moment; I'm not looking for happily ever after"...

Oh wait. I'm probably projecting because that's what *I* say.


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(in reply to reverseosmosis)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Training for the long-term - 3/16/2013 1:19:00 PM   
njlauren


Posts: 1577
Joined: 10/1/2011
Status: offline 		It sounds to me, if this is a true example (some major red flags, young guy, older women who is well off...too many stories like that), then to me it seems like the woman either never planned for this to be a long term thing, or is worried a young guy wouldn't want to stay with her in a romantic relationship (I am assuming here, big assumption, that when she says pet, she means as a slave/pet kind of thing, not also a romantic one).

Wish I had some advice, in many ways a 28 year old man with a 44 year old women is a good match, sexually and otherwise. My advice? Boring as it is, talk to her, and see what she means, ask her if she thinks that the only way you can have a long term relationship is where she takes you to the point where you no longer are two people in love, but rather you are her slave and that is all it is....is she trying to scare the guy off? Could be....I think it is going to take some heart to hearts, if the guy loves this woman and really wants to be with her, then that is the only way. If I was in that situation, I would ask her what she meant, what she saw a long term relationship as, and also would be careful to tell her I was with her for a reason, that I loved her enough to want to commit and that i loved her, as a woman and person, not just as a domme.

(in reply to MissToYouRedux)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Training for the long-term - 3/17/2013 12:41:51 PM   
Chrisp7135


Posts: 23
Joined: 2/10/2012
Status: offline 		I actually was involved with a Domme who said something similar to me (although she was closer to my age).

My best interpretation of the comment made to me about "the relationship won't work because I will have to break you" was her ambivalence about the D/s dynamic.
Perhaps she thought that a fully trained sub/slave lost all the "fire" and became a bit of a doormat.
Or perhaps she meant that the characteristics she liked in me might be some resistance to her total dominion over me.

Like your situation, she wouldn't really elaborate about it.

We eventually drifted apart, and looking back on it now, I see that perhaps her heart wasn't really in being Domme in the relationship.
The guy she ended up with after me was very dominant, and their dynamic (which I wasn't privy to) seemed to be with her as the sub.

Ambivalence can screw up many a relationship......

(in reply to njlauren)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Training for the long-term - 3/17/2013 12:47:53 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: reverseosmosis

Well, I am thinking that since I am young and she is older, after 10 years or some time she thinks I will leave her for someone younger...


Don't make assumptions. I was with someone much younger than me for over 12 years. It is the individuals involved, not the ages. Actually, he thought I would leave him for someone older, not the other way around. And it is not age that breaks people up, it is what goes on in the relationship.

You need to ask her what she what she thinks instead of hazarding these guesses.

(in reply to reverseosmosis)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Training for the long-term - 3/17/2013 8:10:21 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: reverseosmosis

Well, I am thinking that since I am young and she is older, after 10 years or some time she thinks I will leave her for someone younger...

The chances are 3 to 1 you will.
Here's my what if I was in these shoes thoughts:
-she doesn't want your youth wasted. By not globe hopping, having horrible entry level jobs & college girlfriends she would be stunting your personal growth

-sugar babies like to make sure they are in the will. Many times to others detriment

-she enjoys you as a companion not a sub. The men I keep as pets are very different than those I lean on when I have a difficult decision I need to work through.
6or instance: dear companion (not sub or mine) wants to go into law enforcement, I having dated cops know the price this job demands from officer & family. My response "I want you to be happy but I think you're an idiot, this job costs more in your life than you are seeing" reply was "go fuck yourself"... a sub would have ended the relationship right there. My reply was "listen to my reasoning & if i still need to fuck myself you can watch". After explaining pro/con I was able to leave choice in his hands knowing I had expressed what my experience was, cost & how I believed the choice that would make HIM happy would impact others down to fictional children.
A sub I would have been in the situation of potentially screwing up their life by making the choice that I believe to be best at the cost potentially of their love, happiness & possibly ongoing relationship.

Doing what we want because we want it costs much more than money. You don't have to be wealthy to play LIFE the real game. How a sub is groomed, trained, educated & guided all impact us as well. Honestly, she may want someone she can travel with, be a full partner to, & not have to deal with the looks that go with "no this isn't my son". She may not want to hold back your education or be tempted to call in favors for someone that won't need her when thwy have their own wealth (because of her help), its humiliating & embarassing
YMMV

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to reverseosmosis)
Profile   Post #: 31
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