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LadyPact -> RE: Crazy question (3/16/2013 4:47:53 PM)
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Jeff and I are usually on the same page about a lot of things. We may be coming from different chapters in the book on this one.
You want to learn topping skills, yes? A more experienced person than you that can teach you how to tie rope, play with floggers and canes, maybe dip your toe into things like wax play, etc? Then, yeah. You want to get out to your local community to learn how to do stuff. If you are in the DC area, you have a lot of educational opportunities in how to learn these things. Call Me old-fashioned, but I still say the in person/hands on method is the way to go. Background research is great, but it doesn't compare to doing.
Not only are there formal classes, there are *tons* of tops who will be willing to share what they know if you ask them politely. (Please don't interrupt scenes to do this.) When you see other people play, and what they are doing looks like fun *and* you can tell they've got some experience under their belt doing it, those are the folks that you want to ask.
Don't discount veteran bottoms, either. Those are the folks who can give you pointers on a lot of things that you won't know until you start getting your own experience. Is something too hot, too tight, does it feel good, are you hitting the right areas, so on and so on.
How to make a good impression at your first munch (the quick version):
Call or email ahead and speak to the organizer. You want to know what the dress code is if you are in a vanilla location. Ask if they have a round table introduction during the evening. If not, would the organizer or greeter introduce you around.
It should go without saying, but be clean, neatly dressed, and on time.
Engage in friendly conversation. The munch is not the time to share the kinks that interest you with every person you come across. Polite. Dinner. Conversation.
Mingle and network. Try to say hello and engage in chit chat with various folks. It's not speed dating and you aren't there to hook up at your first event. Do not snub people because they are "taken" and don't zero in on every single female in the place.
Do *not* wallflower and expect people to seek you out. You are the new person to the group. That makes it your job to get to know others, not expect people who already know each other to stop talking just because you showed up. It's not AA and the newcomer is not the most important person in the room. You have to be pro-active.
Before leaving, make sure you get some information on other events. Many munch groups still have a small information talk about things that are coming up. (Other munches, demos, etc.) If this munch doesn't, make sure you talk to the organizer before leaving about getting that information. A lot of 'one-timers' and 'lookie-loos' go to munches thinking they are going to get straight into watching/participating in sex or kink. You want people to know that is not your intention.
I hope there was something in all of that rambling that helped.
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