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Definition help - 3/17/2013 7:59:29 PM   
Pdj01


Posts: 4
Joined: 3/6/2013
Status: offline 		Hello All. Could someone please tell me the difference between the following: Submissive, Slave, Bottom?
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RE: Definition help - 3/17/2013 8:01:49 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline 		Oh dear.

Sorry, but all you'll get here are opinions. People don't agree about this stuff.

(in reply to Pdj01)
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RE: Definition help - 3/17/2013 8:04:30 PM   
Pdj01


Posts: 4
Joined: 3/6/2013
Status: offline 		I guess I'm asking for your opinion, well as others.

(in reply to Baroana)
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RE: Definition help - 3/17/2013 8:27:01 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		There actually is a BDSM dictionary out in space, I seem to have misplaced the link

Easy answer is, if you must ask you are none of the above

Sub or pet in my case, relies on my guidence but retains free will
Slave "because I said so" becomes their life because I am now driving
Bottom in my experience is a gay guy telling the "top" how to fuck them& what to do

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to Pdj01)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Definition help - 3/17/2013 8:52:00 PM   
Pdj01


Posts: 4
Joined: 3/6/2013
Status: offline 		Thank you theRose4U. I think I'm a sub, but willing to evolve to a slave.

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Definition help - 3/17/2013 8:57:54 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		The question really isn't about how Rose, Baroana, myself, or anyone else defines the words submissive, slave, or bottom. It's really all about how you define it. This will direct you towards finding a like minded individual along the same area of the BDSM spectrum as yourself.

(in reply to Pdj01)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Definition help - 3/17/2013 9:59:41 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		A bottom is someone who is dominated solely within the context of a scene. It's a position held for a temporary while.

Sub and slave are defined by relationship role, not a play role. They're very similar, and differ only by a nebulous quality which is hotly disputed.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)
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RE: Definition help - 3/17/2013 10:27:41 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Bottom - A person who receives sensations (physical, mental, or emotional) in a scene or time period.

Sub - A person who submits areas of their life to a Dominant in a D/s dynamic.

Slave - A person who lives in servitude or has turned their will over to the Master/Mistress in a M/s dynamic.



Most non-fiction books on the subject of BDSM have a glossary in the back that give basic definitions.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: Definition help - 3/17/2013 10:29:57 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Pdj01

Hello All. Could someone please tell me the difference between the following: Submissive, Slave, Bottom?


Honestly? list yourself as submissive and just serve. The labels will sort themselves out later.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Pdj01)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Definition help - 3/18/2013 12:29:55 AM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline 		Uhmmm.... Serve?

ETA : What?

< Message edited by FrostedFlake -- 3/18/2013 12:30:52 AM >

_____________________________

Frosted Flake
simul justus et peccator
Einen Liebhaber, und halten Sie die Schraube

"... evil (and hilarious) !!" Hlen5

(in reply to tazzygirl)
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RE: Definition help - 3/18/2013 8:09:40 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Pdj01
Hello All. Could someone please tell me the difference between the following: Submissive, Slave, Bottom?

OK, in my own tiny little pea-brain and not meant to in any way whatsoever represent some sort of "truth"...

Bottom: Someone who obeys within limits for the purpose of sexual gratification. In other words, it gets them hot to obey.
Submissive: Someone who obeys within limits for non-sexual reasons.
Slave: Someone who just obeys for non-sexual reasons.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Pdj01)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Definition help - 3/18/2013 4:47:59 PM   
Pdj01


Posts: 4
Joined: 3/6/2013
Status: offline 		Thanks all for the help. I guess by the definitions, I am a Bottom. I am currently in China and there is the language barrier. I also change cities a lot, so haven't been able to "settle in" with the "ONE". Trying to and would move to their city if they would accept me as a sub to start, maybe moving onto a slave.

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Definition help - 3/18/2013 9:51:26 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Pdj01

Thanks all for the help. I guess by the definitions, I am a Bottom. I am currently in China and there is the language barrier. I also change cities a lot, so haven't been able to "settle in" with the "ONE". Trying to and would move to their city if they would accept me as a sub to start, maybe moving onto a slave.

Communit china this whole conversation could get you arrested & at best kicked out of the country. Keep it in your pants till ya get home!!

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to Pdj01)
Profile   Post #: 13
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