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Initial Contact by a Dominant - 6/22/2006 12:17:04 PM

CuteIrishM4F

Posts: 104
Joined: 7/19/2004
Status: offline

Question: If a Dom/Domme were to contact you and by the second correspondence offer to send high quality pictures of themselves by mail if you send them a "generous gift", cash in other words, by mail to them, should a sub do it? Do i have good reason to be suspicious? i am afraid to let a great opportunity slip by me, as this person seems genuine and very nice (and also exactly what i need), but i am also a poor student. What should i do?!!

Post #: 1

RE: Initial Contact by a Dominant - 6/22/2006 12:18:44 PM

CuteIrishM4F

Posts: 104
Joined: 7/19/2004
Status: offline

(in reply to CuteIrishM4F)

Post #: 2

RE: Initial Contact by a Dominant - 6/22/2006 12:21:59 PM

findmedaddy

Posts: 254
Joined: 5/18/2006
From: Maine
Status: offline

Please.

(in reply to CuteIrishM4F)

Post #: 3

RE: Initial Contact by a Dominant - 6/22/2006 12:24:11 PM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

Dommes who are sincere about finding relationships don't sell pictures of themselves to potential subs.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to findmedaddy)

Post #: 4

RE: Initial Contact by a Dominant - 6/22/2006 12:24:44 PM

Emperor1956

Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

If you want to enter into a financial relationship/financial submission/money slave with this person, send the money.

If you like paying for pornshots, send the money.

But if you think that you will further any sort of NON-Financial relationship by sending him/her the money, you are being taken for a ride. This is a financial transaction, and you will have as much of a "relationship" with him/her as you do with the guy who sells you your bag of chips at the local store.

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to CuteIrishM4F)

Post #: 5

RE: Initial Contact by a Dominant - 6/22/2006 12:25:13 PM

tangldupinblue

Posts: 230
Joined: 3/20/2006
Status: offline

run away as fast as you can, anyone who asks you for money isnt at all what you need or want.

_____________________________

Those who deserve punshiment, take it calmly.

(in reply to findmedaddy)

Post #: 6

RE: Initial Contact by a Dominant - 6/22/2006 12:30:16 PM

CuteIrishM4F

Posts: 104
Joined: 7/19/2004
Status: offline

Thanks to all of you who responded. i am still unsure, but i will bear the advice in mind. Have a lovely day!

(in reply to tangldupinblue)

Post #: 7

RE: Initial Contact by a Dominant - 6/22/2006 12:31:30 PM

WilliamEsq

Posts: 1
Joined: 3/10/2005
Status: offline

You should send money only if you can afford the risk and if you don't expect more than you bargained for. It may turn out that all you are doing is paying to keep this person interested. You may not receive the pictures at all. Or, you may receive the pictures but nothing more from this person. If you think you are buying more than pictures, ask youself, if this person cares about you, why is he or she asking for this money?

Beyond that, my only concern is the risk in giving out your address. I am not saying don't do it. I am only suggesting you need to consider the risk you are taking.

I am not one of those who say never send money to anyone. If you can afford it, and if you enjoy the relationship you are developing with someone, what is the harm in risking a little money? If you have your eyes open, you have little to lose. Worst case, you are paying for a little entertainment.

William

(in reply to CuteIrishM4F)

Post #: 8

RE: Initial Contact by a Dominant - 6/22/2006 12:39:36 PM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSonnetMarwood
Dommes who are sincere about finding relationships don't sell pictures of themselves to potential subs.

What she said!
I don't care how 'genuine' you thought the Domme sounded, it is clear you are being looked at as a potential customer.... not as a potential 'relationship'!

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

Post #: 9

RE: Initial Contact by a Dominant - 6/22/2006 12:43:31 PM

BuxomGoddess714

Posts: 91
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: So.California
Status: offline

People who take money or use you in the promise of love or sexual favors are prostituting themselves. Doms and Dommes can support themselves. We are independent, brilliant and Masters of Our own lives and domain. Asking for money from anyone who is not living with us or a part of our family in some way means We need you for some material reason.... Is THAT being Dominant? I think not.

If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, smells like a duck.... its a duck. This guy's fronting. He is not a Dom. He is a con man and opportunist. Been there, seen that, read the book, have the T-shirt and Tattoo.

(in reply to WilliamEsq)

Post #: 10

RE: Initial Contact by a Dominant - 6/22/2006 12:45:34 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

While I agree with Sonnet and am sorry you actually have to spend more than 2 seconds on this, why not make her write up and send a contract to you outlining the terms?

Of course, it still won't help if you need the money and don't have it.

I can't believe you can't find really hot awesome pics of someone online for free. Or that you can't go to your local porn shop and get nice porn shots for the cost of a few books of stamps. Or that you'd think someone who was honestly intending on a relationship would make you pay for pictures.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to CuteIrishM4F)

Post #: 11

RE: Initial Contact by a Dominant - 6/22/2006 12:46:30 PM

BeingChewsie

Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline

I agree with this.

I would have them sent to a P.O. Box or some Kinkos allow you to have things shipped there and you can pick up.

quote:

ORIGINAL: WilliamEsq

You should send money only if you can afford the risk and if you don't expect more than you bargained for. It may turn out that all you are doing is paying to keep this person interested. You may not receive the pictures at all. Or, you may receive the pictures but nothing more from this person. If you think you are buying more than pictures, ask youself, if this person cares about you, why is he or she asking for this money?

Beyond that, my only concern is the risk in giving out your address. I am not saying don't do it. I am only suggesting you need to consider the risk you are taking.

I am not one of those who say never send money to anyone. If you can afford it, and if you enjoy the relationship you are developing with someone, what is the harm in risking a little money? If you have your eyes open, you have little to lose. Worst case, you are paying for a little entertainment.

William

(in reply to WilliamEsq)

Post #: 12

RE: Initial Contact by a Dominant - 6/22/2006 12:49:33 PM

findmedaddy

Posts: 254
Joined: 5/18/2006
From: Maine
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BuxomGoddess714

People who take money or use you in the promise of love or sexual favors are prostituting themselves. Doms and Dommes can support themselves. We are independent, brilliant and Masters of Our own lives and domain. Asking for money from anyone who is not living with us or a part of our family in some way means We need you for some material reason.... Is THAT being Dominant? I think not.

My first response, "please," was not helpful, and I apologize for that.

I am very pleased to see this definition of Doms and Dommes. You might be surprised to know how many self-described "doms" who contact me -- with some of whom, to my chagrin and shame, I have entered into relationship -- don't take care of themselves financially, emotionally, or any other way. Somehow that's been left up to me. I even married one of them.

So I know it's hard not to fall for this kind of thing if the person seems sincere and knows what buttons to push. But the thing is, you're not supposed to care for the dom this way, and certainly not without knowing and loving him or her. Service doesn't include payment.

(in reply to BuxomGoddess714)

Post #: 13

RE: Initial Contact by a Dominant - 6/22/2006 12:55:35 PM

fluffyarcher2

Posts: 11
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

As far as i am concerned if one has a sub then one takes full responsibility for that person both in practical terms & their sub needs. For instance i ensure my sub goes to the hairdresser regulary i would not dream of expecting her to pay. Likewise when i go shopping there are things i buy for her, but dont ask for any money. We are going on holiday next week i have paid for her & my sub will not be expected to pay for any meals etc whilst we are there.

(in reply to findmedaddy)

Post #: 14

RE: Initial Contact by a Dominant - 6/22/2006 1:05:52 PM

Emperor1956

Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Fluffyarcher2 said: As far as i am concerned if one has a sub then one takes full responsibility for that person both in practical terms & their sub needs. For instance i ensure my sub goes to the hairdresser regulary i would not dream of expecting her to pay. Likewise when i go shopping there are things i buy for her, but dont ask for any money. We are going on holiday next week i have paid for her & my sub will not be expected to pay for any meals etc whilst we are there.

But you are hardly addressing the OP. He asked about a request to send a "generous gift" of money to someone he has only had a brief electronic correspondence with in order to obtain pictures; you are talking about the financial relationships within an established M/s relationship. They are not even apples and oranges -- more like apples and beartraps.

I do think Fluffyarcher's post raises an interesting question: what are the financial relationships between Doms and their subs, and how does money either get in the way, or enhance? I'd be pleased to see this discussed either here or in another thread.

But as to the OP -- I think he gets it. If he sends the money after reading this thread, no one can say he went in "eyes wide shut".

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to fluffyarcher2)

Post #: 15

RE: Initial Contact by a Dominant - 6/22/2006 1:16:55 PM

CuteIrishM4F

Posts: 104
Joined: 7/19/2004
Status: offline

my Eyes Are One Hundred Per Cent Open Now! i am sure that without absolute sincerity from this person, i will send nothing. i have read with interest all of these posts and i have had my suspicions reinforced. i'm new to this, and i must be an obvious target for fraud. i have no interest in seeing pictures really anyway. i am certain that even if i were, i would have the person email them to me. What attracted me was the potential note of sincerity in the message. It was very long and detailed and the persons reasons for wanting to make this exchange seemed to be based on building trust and committment more than anything else, and thats what made it a difficult decision. Thank you all for your words of advice. it has helped me a lot.

(in reply to Emperor1956)

Post #: 16

RE: Initial Contact by a Dominant - 6/22/2006 1:31:29 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956
what are the financial relationships between Doms and their subs, and how does money either get in the way, or enhance? I'd be pleased to see this discussed either here or in another thread.

Whatever those involved agree to.

Ask and ye shall receive (and yes, I edited out the countless "what's up the pro-domme?" threads and kept the ones that actually discussed the idea of how money and finances are dealt with in relationships):

http://www.collarchat.com/m_398063/mpage_1/key_money/tm.htm#398063
little advice please

http://www.collarchat.com/m_276420/mpage_1/key_money/tm.htm#276420
financial decisions

http://www.collarchat.com/m_254361/mpage_1/key_money/tm.htm#254361
low income dominants

http://www.collarchat.com/m_233800/mpage_1/key_money/tm.htm#233800
what is ownership?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_140655/mpage_1/key_money/tm.htm#140655
money and sexism in bdsm

http://www.collarchat.com/m_108129/mpage_1/key_money/tm.htm#108129
money slaves??

http://www.collarchat.com/m_217709/mpage_1/key_finances/tm.htm#217709
gifts

http://www.collarchat.com/m_131820/mpage_1/key_finances/tm.htm#131820
security and trust in absolute relationships

http://www.collarchat.com/m_86294/mpage_1/key_finances/tm.htm#86294
the control of money

http://www.collarchat.com/m_42841/mpage_1/key_finances/tm.htm#42841
finances

http://www.collarchat.com/m_285206/mpage_1/key_pays/tm.htm#285206
can I borrow airfare?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_139705/mpage_1/key_pay/tm.htm#139705
lifestyle "dates" who pays?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_117751/mpage_1/key_pay/tm.htm#117751
who should pay?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_85402/mpage_1/key_pay/tm.htm#85402
Money matters

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Emperor1956)

Post #: 17

RE: Initial Contact by a Dominant - 6/22/2006 2:00:42 PM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CuteIrishM4F
my Eyes Are One Hundred Per Cent Open Now! i am sure that without absolute sincerity from this person, i will send nothing. i have read with interest all of these posts and i have had my suspicions reinforced. i'm new to this, and i must be an obvious target for fraud. i have no interest in seeing pictures really anyway. i am certain that even if i were, i would have the person email them to me. What attracted me was the potential note of sincerity in the message. It was very long and detailed and the persons reasons for wanting to make this exchange seemed to be based on building trust and committment more than anything else, and thats what made it a difficult decision. Thank you all for your words of advice. it has helped me a lot.

Glad it has helped. Unfortunatly there are a lot of people out there looking to take advantage of folks like you (People they can push the buttons on, not just the fact that you are sub. Dom/mes get targeted by people trying to con them too). But the real deal is out there too, you just have to be careful and when you do take a risk make sure it is a calculated one.

This forum is a great place to learn and get support also many here will freely give advice if aporached privately too.

Good luck in finding a great Domme to serve.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to CuteIrishM4F)

Post #: 18

RE: Initial Contact by a Dominant - 6/22/2006 3:54:50 PM

littlesubjess

Posts: 305
Joined: 2/2/2006
Status: offline

interestingly, i have been approached ina different way ....

although i am sub, myself, i have received an email from another sub saying he wants me to humiliate him by taking his money off him and laughing at him. and make him do embarassing things etc. i told him i wouldnt go unless i could bring my Owners with me. he told me he would pay £3000 ($5340 roughly) for us three to do that to him, but he wants no sexual contact, just pure humiliation.

Is this genuine ? cos £3000 is a lot of money that would fund a nice holiday. im scared that theres a catch though and that i may be opening myself up to something that could be, potentially, very dangerous .... anyone got any ideas ?

jess xxx

_____________________________

And on the eighth day, He created Jessica ...

Anything is possible if you try hard enough ...... xxx

Only the one who hurts you can make you feel better. Only the one who inflicts the pain can take it away.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 19

RE: Initial Contact by a Dominant - 6/22/2006 7:41:34 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CuteIrishM4F

Question: If a Dom/Domme were to contact you and by the second correspondence offer to send high quality pictures of themselves by mail if you send them a "generous gift", cash in other words, by mail to them, should a sub do it? Do i have good reason to be suspicious? i am afraid to let a great opportunity slip by me, as this person seems genuine and very nice (and also exactly what i need), but i am also a poor student. What should i do?!!

If you are a poor student and also have a hot Irish accent, why not let an older, experienced & wealthy femdom send you cash and and gifts in return for photos of *you*?

Akasha
<yes, that was an offer>

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to CuteIrishM4F)

Post #: 20

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