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RE: Just Not Motivated - 3/28/2013 8:37:53 AM

Notsweet

Posts: 873
Joined: 6/11/2006
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LOL...

Luci, darlin. You gave me a bunch of earworms.

My first thought was, "Come on, tough girl, this will pass." But then I thought of something that I like to do when the blues get me.

If you've got some.....angry music (mine is always The Who), throw it on, growl real loud, and tackle the very first step of the first thing on your list, and give it hell until the song is over. The activity will spike your adrenaline, and you might also make it through the next song.

Some days it's so rough that I keep a list of "five item" jobs....as in, pick up five things off the floor, or wash five dishes. That way, I do move, there's a tiny bit of adrenaline, and at least "something" got done. You have five fingernails, lol....

Feel better, sweet girl!

(in reply to Kirata)

Post #: 21

RE: Just Not Motivated - 3/28/2013 10:30:34 AM

theshytype

Posts: 1600
Status: offline

Great advice, Notsweet. That's the way I like to do it, too! Angry music usually gets my blood pumping and gets me out of a sad or mad mood.

(in reply to Notsweet)

Post #: 22

RE: Just Not Motivated - 3/28/2013 12:20:05 PM

Lucifyre

Posts: 1067
Joined: 3/27/2012
Status: offline

The progress is...
I slept till 10 this morning. Last nights sleep was still pretty broken up but I forced myself to stay in bed this morning.
Both hands are now done, I need to paint them (later though) and the pool's clean and tea for Mr is made and I have something easy out for dinner.
Small shit, but still stuff that needed to get worked on.

Still down, but less so than yesterday and at least I'm moving.

Luci

_____________________________

"Batteries? OMG, Bitch Please! My Shit plugs in!"
I do this because it fucking feels good.
I like girls who like girls
The thing about standards is: There are SO many to choose from.

(in reply to theshytype)

Post #: 23

RE: Just Not Motivated - 3/28/2013 4:35:59 PM

Duskypearls

Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucifyre

p.s. Thanks everyone for offering your shoulders to lean on ;)

Luci

Ah, sweetie pie, I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. The full moon might not be helping.

Sometimes to help me get through a hard time (like right now...it's Bluesville, USA), I give myself permission to have those feelings, and express them strongly to myself. If I don't, they kinda get stuck and don't move out nearly as fast.

(in reply to Lucifyre)

Post #: 24

RE: Just Not Motivated - 3/28/2013 4:41:01 PM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucifyre

I really should take the time to do my nails today.
But I'm not motivated.
I should go to the grocery store to buy carrots for the roast I planned to make for dinner tonight.
But I'm not motivated.
I should pull the list of folks out and start making follow up calls for work.
But I'm not motivated.
I should go outside and pull weeds and then clean the pool (it's not too dirty thank goodness)
But I'm not motivated.
I should drive over to the shop and drop the truck off for an oil change and find out why it gave me shit starting this morning.
But I'm not motivated.
I should take my ass into the kitchen and get that roast started before it's too late to make it for dinner tonight.
But I'm not motivated.

There is a list about a mile long of things I *should* be doing right now, but all I want to do is go crawl back into my bed under my warm blankets and slip off into dreamy bliss until the end of next week. I feel overwhelmed and stressed out and like the list is too long I'll never get any of it done even if I take on one task at a time because once I get to the middle of something, then something else is going to come along and add to the list.
I'm tired, I haven't slept right in..well...forever. It's spring break for my kid this week. Mr has been having a lot of rough days at work because the folks He is in charge of are window lickers, so He is tired and frustrated too.
I don't even want to waste time watching T.V. because I just *KNOW* some stupid commercial is going to come on and make me cry...probably about diapers or something that has NOTHING to do with my life any more.

*sigh*
well...fuck.

Luci
I'm not motivated.

For some strange reason, I have been the same way since my sis left on her trip with my brother in law for a reconciliation attempt. I mean my 13 month great nephew Damian brings his mom into my room to wake me up so I will play his favorite you tube videos, but I have been trying to convince him to lay down next to me and go back to sleep.

Hell it has been taking me 30 minutes to get motivated enough to crawl out of bed, get a cup of coffee and smoke a damn cigarette.

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

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(in reply to Lucifyre)

Post #: 25

RE: Just Not Motivated - 3/28/2013 5:44:41 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

If I could overcome this insomnia shit the depression wouldn't be such a weight I'm sure.
And when I say insomnia, what I really mean is, if I could figure out what the fuck it is that wakes me up every 2 1/2 hours and actually get a real good nights rest instead of feeling like a zombie every single day, that would be a great start. It's not just 1 thing either. Sometimes I just wakke up, other times it's something like a noise outside, or my husband snoring too loudly, or I have to get up and pee, or my roomates made some stupid ass noise, or I've had a bad dream...the list of things that wake me is endless and it's frustrating as all hell...especially the nights that I just wake up for no good reason.
BTW, I refuse to take the metformin, it makes me really sick, I'm 42 and done having kids so I don't particularly give a shit about treating the PCOS any more. I went through the fertility treatments to have shorty (took 8 years for him to finally show up but it was worth the wait) Even on the drugs, the hair doesn't stop growing on my chin or thinning on my head, and even after surgery I am still having problems with extra padding around my waistline even though I eat right and am exercizing 4 days a week.

I feel ya!

Have you noticed if you sleep better on the nights after you've exercised?

I have a long list of sleep hygiene tips and will give you the two most important for me:

1. stop drinking liquids by 6 PM
2. ear plugs, which I used to be able to get at CVS or Wal-Mart, but now buy on Amazon by the case. I look to pay under $3/pair w shipping (which is usually free when you buy in bulk.)

Macks Ear Seals Ear Plugs with Removable Cord - 1 Pair (Pack of 6)

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(in reply to Lucifyre)

Post #: 26

RE: Just Not Motivated - 3/28/2013 6:31:43 PM

Duskypearls

Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
Status: offline

Kali, I LOVE those earplugs...they're the only ones that'll work for me. Thanks for the link.

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 27

RE: Just Not Motivated - 3/29/2013 12:15:11 AM

xssve

Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

There is a list about a mile long of things I *should* be doing right now

What I do is commit to do one thing and give myself permission to stop after 5 minutes (but once I get rolling, I'm good for much longer.)

Yeah getting started is the hard part.

Shit I've been doing nothing but playing Starcraft II for like 18 months straight, just trying to stay top 8 across the board - it not that I'm not motivated, it's just that everything else hurts too much.

I dunno, diverted cathexes I guess, I quit about 2 months ago and now I'm only about 6 months behind, but my left leg is slowly going numb.

Meds might help if you have genuine disorder, I'm just naturally depressed, my whole life is like a Bergman film.

Fuck more fuck less, try a different position, I dunno.

I'm gonna go hurl myself against the wall.

_____________________________

Walking nightmare...

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 28

RE: Just Not Motivated - 3/30/2013 5:39:05 AM

Notsweet

Posts: 873
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline

Here's the biggest hurdle with depression (in my not so humble opinion).

You get depressed, unmotivated, don't wanna move. Everything hurts

Movement helps ease depression.
But you don't want to move because of the depression.

A little imaging, if you will.

The depression doesn't want you to move, because that makes it go away. It wants to stay. It wants to be with you and make you miserable. So the depression restricts you so it can have you all to yourself. It makes you hurt.

Soooooo......

If you want to feel better, imagine the depression as a bitchy little five year old who you're stuck caring for. You have to show her that she is not the boss. When she makes her presence known, get up and move. Wash a couple of dishes. Pick up ten items in your immediate area and put them away. As soon as you ignore depression's tantrum, it's going to be easier to control her.

Doesn't work for everyone. YMMV. But I'm a big believer in trying everything to see if anything works.

(in reply to xssve)

Post #: 29

RE: Just Not Motivated - 3/30/2013 8:47:19 AM

Lucifyre

Posts: 1067
Joined: 3/27/2012
Status: offline

quote:

a bitchy little five year old who you're stuck caring for.

The entire rest of the post (that you're 100% correct on btw) aside...

The above quote is exactly what duct tape was made for.
Just sayin ;)

Luci

_____________________________

"Batteries? OMG, Bitch Please! My Shit plugs in!"
I do this because it fucking feels good.
I like girls who like girls
The thing about standards is: There are SO many to choose from.

(in reply to Notsweet)

Post #: 30

RE: Just Not Motivated - 3/30/2013 11:13:23 AM

erieangel

Posts: 2237
Joined: 6/19/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Notsweet

Here's the biggest hurdle with depression (in my not so humble opinion).

You get depressed, unmotivated, don't wanna move. Everything hurts

Movement helps ease depression.
But you don't want to move because of the depression.

A little imaging, if you will.

The depression doesn't want you to move, because that makes it go away. It wants to stay. It wants to be with you and make you miserable. So the depression restricts you so it can have you all to yourself. It makes you hurt.

Soooooo......

If you want to feel better, imagine the depression as a bitchy little five year old who you're stuck caring for. You have to show her that she is not the boss. When she makes her presence known, get up and move. Wash a couple of dishes. Pick up ten items in your immediate area and put them away. As soon as you ignore depression's tantrum, it's going to be easier to control her.

Doesn't work for everyone. YMMV. But I'm a big believer in trying everything to see if anything works.

OK, I had to quote that because I also copy and pasted it onto a word file and printed it out. I've suffered with depression and bipolar disorder-depressive type, most of my life and I've never thought if it that way. But, upon thinking about it, there was something about working that allowed me to get off medication and kept me med-free for over 3 years. And then...wham!! Something about the crop of kids, or current new regs, combination of both...I don't know...Something started stressing me out and I relapsed and needed to go back on the medication. I think I'm doing fine now, except for the fact that I can't seem to get along with some people. I mean who gets yelled at by a supervisor for something that supervisor did?? I think I have to take that issue to the compliance department.

(in reply to Notsweet)

Post #: 31

RE: Just Not Motivated - 3/31/2013 8:39:13 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I always compare my depression to a deep, dark, black hole and no way out. But as soon as someone is around to throw in a rope, or there's something to grab onto, I can pull my way out...sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.

It's why I always say that it's great if you can find someone who understands or is at least willing to help you get out of the depression. I had a good friend who understood my depression and when I got stuck in the hole, when I didn't want to get out of bed or leave the house, she would force me out. She would come over to my house and drag me out of bed, she'd call me up and guilt me into going somewhere with her lol. I now have Master to do that for me thankfully since I no longer live near her.

Or if I have something in my life that forces me to climb out of the hole, that helps as well....work, a child, something that I absolutely have to do or it will destroy me in some way.....a doctor's appointment, having to get out of bed to take meds, having to be somewhere and if I don't go I could lose my job or something else in my life or whatever.

Does your husband help you to pull you out of the hole? If not, explain to him how important it is. Yeah, you'll hate him for a bit but in the end you will be grateful.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to erieangel)

Post #: 32

RE: Just Not Motivated - 3/31/2013 9:08:30 AM

Lucifyre

Posts: 1067
Joined: 3/27/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Does your husband help you to pull you out of the hole? If not, explain to him how important it is. Yeah, you'll hate him for a bit but in the end you will be grateful.

No. Because I do my damndest not to ever let Him know when I'm feeling like this. I've gotten (I think) very good at coming up with reasons *other* than depression for behaving the way I do sometimes. He may very well be well aware of what's going on and just not let on that He knows. I don't bring it up because I don't want Him to have something else to stress about.
He works way too damned hard and has way too much other stress in his life for me to be bother Him with my problems. In fact, it makes me feel worse when He has to focus on helping me rather than doing things He wants or needs to be doing. I was a complete wreck after my surgery and had to let Him help me. We actually got into an argument when I wanted to get up and do things for Him before I was supposed to be getting up and doing things. Same thing happened on Christmas when I got pneumonia. I was tired, feverish, coughing and extremely sensative because Iw as sick and I ended up exploding at Him over something stupid because I was trying to hide being sick in the first place.
No scolding needed...I promise LOL

Luci

< Message edited by Lucifyre -- 3/31/2013 9:09:05 AM >

_____________________________

"Batteries? OMG, Bitch Please! My Shit plugs in!"
I do this because it fucking feels good.
I like girls who like girls
The thing about standards is: There are SO many to choose from.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 33

RE: Just Not Motivated - 3/31/2013 9:14:27 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I used to be like you until Master got on my case about it. He wants to know honestly how I'm feeling and what I need. It affects both of us, not just me. We're a we like he says.

While your husband may work hard and is stressed, sometimes letting him help you will maybe help his stress. It will take his mind off of his own stuff going on and by helping you, it helps him. Men seem to like to help the woman they love. They don't see it as a burden. They see it as being well....manly, being the man of the house, doing what a man should do and even romantic.

Maybe let him in on what's going on. Loosen up a bit and keep in mind that your health affects you both, not just you and by not letting him in may be hurting instead of helping your relationship.

Let him help you.

Stop being stubborn.

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Everything has changed

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Post #: 34

RE: Just Not Motivated - 3/31/2013 9:48:12 AM

Lucifyre

Posts: 1067
Joined: 3/27/2012
Status: offline

I know it seems like I'm just being stubborn...but take yesterdays events for example...

He forgot to turn off the alarm Friday night, so 5:45 a.m. yesterday it goes off and wakes me up. I get up, drink some coffee...He gets out of bed and ruins the peace and quiet I had going. No biggie...I fix Him cup and go back to vegging. Couple hours later He decided He wants to take His car for an oil change. While He is at the shop getting rwady to leave...the car won't start. Turns out He needs a new battery...so, a $30.00 trip turns into a $120.00 trip. He also informs me that He now needs new tires, and His brakes and rotors are going bad so His car is going to cost us almost a grand to get up to par in the very near future. He gets home, my truck gave Him grief the other morning so He goes to check out my battery. The nodes need cleaned...He does that, goes to start the truck...now IT won't fucking start He thinks it's my cylinoid. But I can't do shit about it till tomorrow because the shop closed as He was leaving yesterday...we <were> going to take the lawnmower back to the store because it also didn't want to start yesterday.
At least the mower is under warranty.

But shit like that happens ALL the time. He doesn't need me adding my shit on top of it all as well.

_____________________________

"Batteries? OMG, Bitch Please! My Shit plugs in!"
I do this because it fucking feels good.
I like girls who like girls
The thing about standards is: There are SO many to choose from.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 35

RE: Just Not Motivated - 3/31/2013 7:44:47 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

those are minor issues. Your relationship and your health are more important. You both need to take a time out and make your relationship a priority, not all the issues such as cars and lawnmowers.

basically.....don't sweat the small stuff. Make time for your relationship instead and that means you both talking and sharing and helping each other. The small stuff will still be there and they always will be.

If you keep waiting till all the other stuff in your life is fixed, you will never have time for each other.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Lucifyre)

Post #: 36

RE: Just Not Motivated - 3/31/2013 8:08:35 PM

absolutchocolat

Posts: 1392
Status: offline

If you can make appointments for yourself with other people, like lunch out or coffee or a walk in the park -- that can work wonders for your mood. That way, you are accountable to others.

My sister can always tell I am depressed. She forces me to go shopping with her (which I hate, but I walk my ass off) or for a nice dinner out. She gets me away from the computer, and away from the bed, and back into civilization.

I also think you should tell your husband, but I bet he already knows. A cheerful, fun wife is much, much different than a depressed, sad one. Therapy would certainly help, and you may want to consider an antidepressant. Don't let it rule you...kick depression in the butt!

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 37

RE: Just Not Motivated - 4/1/2013 4:58:53 PM

MrRodgers

Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
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This may sound a little crazy but once up and about let's just say back to close to normal physically...consider cardio.

Yes, just a short jog or even a few lifts of some sort but get yourself breathing hard and I am telling you, you will feel better.

It works for me and I always feel better.

(in reply to Kirata)

Post #: 38

RE: Just Not Motivated - 4/1/2013 5:44:12 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucifyre

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Does your husband help you to pull you out of the hole? If not, explain to him how important it is. Yeah, you'll hate him for a bit but in the end you will be grateful.

No. Because I do my damndest not to ever let Him know when I'm feeling like this. I've gotten (I think) very good at coming up with reasons *other* than depression for behaving the way I do sometimes. He may very well be well aware of what's going on and just not let on that He knows. I don't bring it up because I don't want Him to have something else to stress about.
He works way too damned hard and has way too much other stress in his life for me to be bother Him with my problems. In fact, it makes me feel worse when He has to focus on helping me rather than doing things He wants or needs to be doing. I was a complete wreck after my surgery and had to let Him help me. We actually got into an argument when I wanted to get up and do things for Him before I was supposed to be getting up and doing things. Same thing happened on Christmas when I got pneumonia. I was tired, feverish, coughing and extremely sensative because Iw as sick and I ended up exploding at Him over something stupid because I was trying to hide being sick in the first place.
No scolding needed...I promise LOL

Luci

This may come across as "scolding".

Relationships involve some spillage of our personal stuff onto other people.
It just is that way.
That doesn't mean the other person is our personal garbage dump.
You say he doesn't need your shit but the thing about sharing (to paraphrase Spider Robinson) is that burdens are halved and joys are doubled.
What is going on with you is affecting the relationship, therefor it is a relationship thing.

If I were hiding something emotional from my Master, He would be pissed because that meant I was being dishonest, and making decisions that are not mine to make... and that doesn't have to do with Him being the dominant partner: it has to do with His being my partner.

And lw is right about the stuff you listed as being minor stuff.
I think it is seeming monumental because you are depressed and everything is stressing you out.
And btw: to pretend everything is okay when it isn't, can be very crazy-making to the other person.

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(in reply to Lucifyre)

Post #: 39

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