"Free" Woman

"Free" Woman (Full Version)

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RiotGirl -> "Free" Woman (6/22/2006 11:06:56 PM)
Well He moved out and in the process I've become pretty much a Free person. I even requested from Him release of following his rules. Which i'm told i didnt really need to do since he's basically denied/taken away my ability to serve him. For uhhhh proctcol's (i suppose is the word) sake i asked. Granted i never got an answer. heh He's just so dang busy (which was what the last rant was about Smilezz - unfortunetly those of the lesser intelligence cant read between the lines). Right. He's just so busy well he's unable to do alot of things. So well i've inadverently become free. (yeah i spelled inadvertent wrong and i'm too lazy to look it up). Thats right folks. FREE. Granted technically i'm not as i'm still collared, but what the hell. What choice do i have? Sit around and wait for the Man to spare some change of time? Actually i did do that for a month and it drove me CRAZY. Ha! (i ranted it about it here LOL.. had nothing to do about meds Smilezz - you bitch ) So whatever. I kind of like it = ) i can do whatever the HELL i want. Isnt that grand? Its like sticking your toe in a pool you're sure there's gators in and finding out there isnt and its nice and warm. Heh. Ha! Why was i so scared about being "free" before? i've got my LIFE BACK. My world no longer centers around him. My world did revolve around him, he left, it crashed and then i was expected to start a new life.... with out him. Now, i've got this really awesome life - ) i'm EXCITED. Woot Woot! Yay me! i'm going to pretty much take out 63 credits in a semester. Which will stick me like a year and a half left before i have my bachelors and living in London. Year and a half isnt much. Joined the YMCA to take kickboxing, yoga, pilates and a few other things. Going to start volunteering for Meals on Wheels, senior citizens. And GOD there is so much to do around here.. i never knew it LOL So damn focused on him, him being my life.. that i never looked around me. Sheesh! Everything i thought about, he was apart of. When he was living here.. he didnt want to go out (and doesnt have the same interests as me) so well i never did anything. Except for whatever he wanted to do. Yeah its nice. As they say in BraveHeart... FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM (oo i always get chills at that part in the movie) So yeah - being Free and not a sub/slave with ppl telling you what to do is kind of nice. Ha! Who'd of thunk it? Which of course, just i suppose for the record - i'm keeping the torn to shreds, miserable (god this SUCKS) part of my mind carefully in a steel locked box in the back of my brain. Pleasant thoughts, right? Positive thoughts lead to positive actions so its all i'm gonna give two cents about.

MistressOfGa -> RE: "Free" Woman (6/22/2006 11:50:41 PM)
Riot Girl, I wish you all the best in your new freedom. I hope you have all the happiness in the world :)

Wulfchyld -> RE: "Free" Woman (6/22/2006 11:56:40 PM)
Riot, I do hope you find the happiness you deserve. I am glad to see you have turned despair into growth and are pursuing some dreams and idea's. You have all the support I can give you through this medium at your disposal. Happy for you [:D]

RiotGirl -> RE: "Free" Woman (6/23/2006 12:12:40 AM)
Thanks guys Ooooooooooo Wulf such offers! Well.. there's going to be alot of studying (45 credits in CLEP and 18 credits this semester) so i'll need some amusement. Mind letting me scare the shit out of you every now and then... and maybe you could crawl around and woof like a dog. hehehehehe Actually i DO NEED support LOL i'm going to try and CLEP Trig. Yeah thaaaaaaaaaats gonna be tough. Okay, like i cant even pass the math class BEFORE they let you take college algerbra. HA! And they're gonna let me test trig out.. gee arent they not too bright! nanner nanner nanner.. Really, at best, 13 years ago i was in advanced Math in.. god forbid.. 7th graade.. fell behind in 8th grade and thought i was too good for school in HS. So i didnt go. But lucky for me, i'm generally good in Math.. if i pay attention. Twas doing muliplication at 4 (so i'm told.. dunno if i believe that) So with no Highschool knowledge and a year of college that i didnt pay attention too.. i'm going to pull all of it out my ass! LOL My mother is gonna be soooooooo mad! She hates it when i make good grades when i shouldnt. Ha! Thank God i'm a good test taker. I think CLEP will be harder then a final exam actually. i passed Spanish 1 by just figuring out what the teacher wanted us to know and reading those parts the night before the final exam. Got in A in the class of course (my mother was sooooo mad...... cos i didnt study or pay any attention to the class except the nights before the mid term and final exam.. and i got an A) nanner nanner nanner. So who wants to um quiz me on all the math classes they have in college. My next feat will be calculus. Cos as confindent as i am... lol.. i'm still worried! Cos geeeeeeeez i took that damn class 3 times and didnt pass. Hopefully its just cos i didnt pay attention and well sort of stopped going to class.

RiotGirl -> RE: "Free" Woman (6/23/2006 12:15:32 AM)
quote: Riot Girl, I wish you all the best in your new freedom. I hope you have all the happiness in the world :) Damn right i will. Cos now i can go create it as i am back in control of me and my life

Wulfchyld -> RE: "Free" Woman (6/23/2006 12:20:22 AM)
Well your barking up the wrong tree if you want me to puppy play so I'll give you a benji whistle. The best i could tell you would to do a lot of reading. Stuff that challenges your creativity as well as your spatial thinking. It would be a nice break from your schoolbooks and it will stimulate you to grow and open up your mind. some entertaining sci-fi wouldn’t be bad, and if you like a challenge try Frank Herbert’s Dune series. Lots of good stuff in there with a few major dry patches that make his desert world look like Water World. However if you perceiver it is well worth it. Smiling

Rule -> RE: "Free" Woman (6/23/2006 3:10:35 AM)
Still collared, but now free to follow your own interests - to express your nature - I gather. This part of you must have felt restricted and neglected before. Good for you. Congratulations. I do hope that your master pays attention and that he will not neglect these aspects of you again.

smilezz -> RE: "Free" Woman (6/23/2006 6:21:22 AM)
Remember what i said/typed. Everyone has choices....it seems you have made one. Good luck........hope you have a good weekend. ~smilezz~

pahunkboy -> RE: "Free" Woman (6/23/2006 6:39:13 AM)
My last live in, ran off.-to have his own space. I did not want him to leave. However...NOW- I have a much nicer place, more everything. He did me a favor and I did not know it. :-) I never did get the 1 month palimoney he agreed to. or the carpet cleaning fee. I got all the appliances- and his stapler. He is still made 7 years later- cos I took his stapler. IF he wants to hear it staple- I will help. BTW- I have upgraded to an electric stapler too. oh- no dirty socks every where. I never have to wonder who was in my bed....I dont have to hide the ash trays. My phone messages are not deleted. And I do not have to hear teh fire company scanner blaring all night long,. See? :-)

pahunkboy -> RE: "Free" Woman (6/23/2006 6:41:11 AM)
I never did take him off my account. I hope if I die- there is less then $3 in it.............

RiotGirl -> RE: "Free" Woman (6/23/2006 9:55:02 AM)
LOL pahunkboy. Sounds like it really was a favor = ) LOL Yeah i suppose i could list the same things..... no dirty clothes on the floor. no constant laundry... erm well. whatever. i dont see it as a favor, though i suppose there is a bright side of things. Like i said - i'm not "okay" with it all. No, actually - i'm really really really hurt. And i'm angry and i'm confused and i dont quite understand. But i am going to make the best of it = ) LOL and i hope your account has 1.50 cents in it! LOL smilezz - actually no i dont remember, but then i've a terrible memory. Half the time i cant even remember what i've responded too or posted.. i've actually got to go search my name to see where i last was. Yes we all have choices. My choice is to "work things out" As i WAS working to make things better, but alas, he took that choice away from me. Soooooooooo - yeah i made this choice. i choose to do something with myself and enjoy myself and to give myself a life and to move forward - and i choose not to wait around for him to remember i'm still here. Rule - Yup, i am free to be myself. Which technically i suppose i was before, but being so wrapped up in him (him being my life) i didnt. Prolly all self imposed - some of it restricted i'm sure. Pays attention to me? HA! lololol actually whats really funny. I told him i was too busy to see him this weekend and he gives ME a hard time. Yeah and i'm supposed to call him.. which i dont really feel like.. so i havent.. but i'm not worried about it. He was supposed to call me alot, and he didnt. So who cares if i do it? Shouldnt matter right? Whats good for one is good for the other. Rah. Now if i could just get my "sleep" back on track.

RiotGirl -> RE: "Free" Woman (6/23/2006 1:32:27 PM)
You know i was just told i'm not allowed a "release" from following the rules and you know i think thats a crock of bull. Like finally after a month i get an answer. You know i was told that i really neednt ask permission for that as he took away my ability, my right to serve him. You know and what i was told sounds pretty on mark. (Course Master disagrees) But i think it sounds on mark and what i think is what matters most. Right? You know and he even forbid me to volunteer for meals on wheels. Cos he doesnt like old ppl. I think i told him to kiss my butt, that'd it make me feel good about me. He tried telling me "no" a whole bunch. Then he gave me a hard time about not "listening" But you know i think its a crock of bull. Hell, i'm not sure what i think. BUT i think he got my point. Cos i'm really good at jabbing at ppl in a light hearted manner. Like maybe if he wasnt soooooo busy or paid me no attention. Yeah, i'm kind of proud of myself. i experessed excatly how i disliked his behavior and the result of it in a pleasant, humourous way. We laughed alot on the phone. Tho i think i'm kind of pissed. Who does he think he is??? Why on EARTH does he think i'm going to follow his rules? Ignore me, pay me no attention, leave me here hurt and confused - AND then act like its no big deal? Like i'm mental if i have a problem with it. AH! And he gave me a hard time about being "busy" lolololololol you know i about died laughing. Men. What the hell is wrong with them? He EVEN gave me a hard time about going to school. Actually - i think he's just not able to cope with me having a life. He's too used to my world revolving around him. HA! He wanted me to ask permission about going to the YMCA today. Not likely. i've got my "own" permission thanks very much. If i waited around to ask for his permission to do anything, i would never be doing anything. Ohhhhhhh gee wait.. i've already been to that movie. And its not a movie i'd watch twice. You know! I've a great idea. i think i'll tell him next time i speak/see him. He can get down on his knees, beg my fucking forgiveness and then find a way to make it up to me, before i ask for his permission again. And i dont mean buy me crap. Like put forth effort. That actually sounds great. I think i'll tell him.. in a light hearted, humourous way. He will prolly tell me i've lost my mind and i will prolly tell him "yeaaaaaaah aint it nice?" Men.. you cant kill em.. and you cant freeze their penis's for later use. What good are they? hehehehehehehe

TolerableCruelty -> RE: "Free" Woman (6/23/2006 1:46:30 PM)
wOOt ! Rock on, girly..... T.R.

SirKenin -> RE: "Free" Woman (6/23/2006 2:44:51 PM)
As long as you are happy that is all that matters. Good luck to you.

FelinePersuasion -> RE: "Free" Woman (6/23/2006 3:13:07 PM)
when he is an old fart house ridden and unable to get his own food we'll tell him sorry no meels on wheels for you, you are an old fart and we don't like old people hehehe quote: ORIGINAL: RiotGirl You know i was just told i'm not allowed a "release" from following the rules and you know i think thats a crock of bull. Like finally after a month i get an answer. You know i was told that i really neednt ask permission for that as he took away my ability, my right to serve him. You know and what i was told sounds pretty on mark. (Course Master disagrees) But i think it sounds on mark and what i think is what matters most. Right? You know and he even forbid me to volunteer for meals on wheels. Cos he doesnt like old ppl. I think i told him to kiss my butt, that'd it make me feel good about me. He tried telling me "no" a whole bunch. Then he gave me a hard time about not "listening" But you know i think its a crock of bull. Hell, i'm not sure what i think. BUT i think he got my point. Cos i'm really good at jabbing at ppl in a light hearted manner. Like maybe if he wasnt soooooo busy or paid me no attention. Yeah, i'm kind of proud of myself. i experessed excatly how i disliked his behavior and the result of it in a pleasant, humourous way. We laughed alot on the phone. Tho i think i'm kind of pissed. Who does he think he is??? Why on EARTH does he think i'm going to follow his rules? Ignore me, pay me no attention, leave me here hurt and confused - AND then act like its no big deal? Like i'm mental if i have a problem with it. AH! And he gave me a hard time about being "busy" lolololololol you know i about died laughing. Men. What the hell is wrong with them? He EVEN gave me a hard time about going to school. Actually - i think he's just not able to cope with me having a life. He's too used to my world revolving around him. HA! He wanted me to ask permission about going to the YMCA today. Not likely. i've got my "own" permission thanks very much. If i waited around to ask for his permission to do anything, i would never be doing anything. Ohhhhhhh gee wait.. i've already been to that movie. And its not a movie i'd watch twice. You know! I've a great idea. i think i'll tell him next time i speak/see him. He can get down on his knees, beg my fucking forgiveness and then find a way to make it up to me, before i ask for his permission again. And i dont mean buy me crap. Like put forth effort. That actually sounds great. I think i'll tell him.. in a light hearted, humourous way. He will prolly tell me i've lost my mind and i will prolly tell him "yeaaaaaaah aint it nice?" Men.. you cant kill em.. and you cant freeze their penis's for later use. What good are they? hehehehehehehe

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