quote:

ORIGINAL: rudykimmy
...We want someone we both like to have around, that's true, but that's A LOT easier to find than someone to love, isn't it ?!

quote:

ORIGINAL: rudykimmy
So what we are looking for (as we mentioned) is exactly what we had up untill a short while ago : a girl we like having around, that does the work she is supposed to do and that we can have kinky sex with ... in exchange for her being taken care of (in all meanings of the word).

quote:

ORIGINAL: rudykimmy
Our former "girl" adored the arrangement, so there must be others out there.

quote:

ORIGINAL: rudykimmy
Maybe we're the "mythical unicorns" ?!?

quote:

ORIGINAL: rudykimmy

For your information DesFIP (not that I think it matters in this context but anyway) : my husband was married before, he was alone for 2 years after his first wife left him. Then we met - through business - fell madly in love (almost at first sight), moved in together within the month and got married almost one year later.

We are not looking for someone we can fall in love with, we have eachother already. We want someone we both like to have around, that's true, but that's A LOT easier to find than someone to love, isn't it ?!
So what we are looking for (as we mentioned) is exactly what we had up untill a short while ago : a girl we like having around, that does the work she is supposed to do and that we can have kinky sex with ... in exchange for her being taken care of (in all meanings of the word). Our former "girl" adored the arrangement, so there must be others out there.

We appreciate all the good-hearted responses we've gotten here and we are grateful for all the help. But we would also appreciate it if you wouldn't jump to conclusions without knowing us. Maybe we're the "mythical unicorns" ?!?

But ... despite the tone of your reply ... we do appreciate you taking the time to answer.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi
The two of you are in the committed relationship and are basically looking for a toy- that's not easier to find, it's harder. People don't generally like to be the automatic expendable one in what is their primary relationship. Most women out there are looking for someone to love, who will love them back.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig


I don't think that is fair to say. Just because the couple is married, doesn't mean they aren't looking for, or capable of loving a 3rd person in their relationship. Saying they are looking for a plaything is a little unfair. My understanding is, they are looking for a relationship with a submissive, who will submit/bottom to both of them.

I personally don't believe in entering into a relationship with anyone who is legally bound to another. That doesn't however mean, that they cannot care for, or love a third person to live with. M

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

quote:

ORIGINAL: rudykimmy

quote:

UllrsIshtar

I can understand that you are skeptical, we're getting there too with all the scammers that have contacted us.

In our defence (for lack of a better word, since we don't think we have to defend ourselves in this case), we were both raised in very traditional homes. I (28 years old) already had a passive interest in bdsm but never dared venture into the real thing, my husband never really realised he was into it until recently, mainly - I think - because his sex-life was quite adventurous on all other fronts so he never really felt the urge to experiment (also because his job kinda took the energy out of him to start actively searching for the less obvious).

We are all different, we all have our quirks, no one is the same. I have never judged anyone for doing something I don't like or for having an opinion that is different than mine. So if someone discovers later in life that they like something ... what's wrong with that ?!? I didn't like Science fiction movies until very recently (when watching Battlestar Galactica for 12 hours straight ). My husband didn't like apple-sauce until two years ago ... people change, no matter what Dr. House says

People don't change by going from vanilla to "liking just about any "extreme" thing you could think of" without a lot of intermediary steps.

You don't wake up in your 40s one day and discover that you're a hardcore edge player, without anything leading up to that point. The intermediary steps between "vanilla" and "into just about any "extreme" thing you could think of" involve years of evolution and fantasies.

Like I said before: I've never met a hardcore edge player who didn't have years of indication that they where into this kind of stuff before their twenties, and even the people who can look back and say that there where signs they where kinky even before they hit puberty take years to grow into their own, and go rather slowly, and with a lot of intermediary steps, from more softcore BDSM to liking "just about any "extreme" thing you could think of".

That kind of transformation in a person's personality and tastes just doesn't happen overnight (or in a few weeks or months) in their late 40s.

BTW... the fact that you're comparing a "taste" in hardcore edge play to something like what kind of movie, or food you happen to like at any given moment, kinda proves my point and shows that you really don't have much of a clue.
What you're saying is akin to somebody claiming that they, one day in their 40s, decided they where gay, without there being anything leading up to that point. People don't wake up one day and suddenly, out of the blue, decide to change what gender they're sexually attracted to... just like people don't just wake up one day and suddenly, out of the blue, decide they're into hardcore edge play.

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: rudykimmy

quote:

UllrsIshtar



I can understand that you are skeptical, we're getting there too with all the scammers that have contacted us.

In our defence (for lack of a better word, since we don't think we have to defend ourselves in this case), we were both raised in very traditional homes. I (28 years old) already had a passive interest in bdsm but never dared venture into the real thing, my husband never really realised he was into it until recently, mainly - I think - because his sex-life was quite adventurous on all other fronts so he never really felt the urge to experiment (also because his job kinda took the energy out of him to start actively searching for the less obvious).

We are all different, we all have our quirks, no one is the same. I have never judged anyone for doing something I don't like or for having an opinion that is different than mine. So if someone discovers later in life that they like something ... what's wrong with that ?!? I didn't like Science fiction movies until very recently (when watching Battlestar Galactica for 12 hours straight ). My husband didn't like apple-sauce until two years ago ... people change, no matter what Dr. House says



People don't change by going from vanilla to "liking just about any "extreme" thing you could think of" without a lot of intermediary steps.

You don't wake up in your 40s one day and discover that you're a hardcore edge player, without anything leading up to that point. The intermediary steps between "vanilla" and "into just about any "extreme" thing you could think of" involve years of evolution and fantasies.

Like I said before: I've never met a hardcore edge player who didn't have years of indication that they where into this kind of stuff before their twenties, and even the people who can look back and say that there where signs they where kinky even before they hit puberty take years to grow into their own, and go rather slowly, and with a lot of intermediary steps, from more softcore BDSM to liking "just about any "extreme" thing you could think of".

That kind of transformation in a person's personality and tastes just doesn't happen overnight (or in a few weeks or months) in their late 40s.

BTW... the fact that you're comparing a "taste" in hardcore edge play to something like what kind of movie, or food you happen to like at any given moment, kinda proves my point and shows that you really don't have much of a clue.
What you're saying is akin to somebody claiming that they, one day in their 40s, decided they where gay, without there being anything leading up to that point. People don't wake up one day and suddenly, out of the blue, decide to change what gender they're sexually attracted to... just like people don't just wake up one day and suddenly, out of the blue, decide they're into hardcore edge play.

quote:

ORIGINAL: rudykimmy

Hi all, we'd really appreciate your input on this.

We're a couple (Mr.Rudy & Mrs.Kimmy) who live in a remote location in Portugal.
Up untill a few months ago, we had a 24/7 slavegirl who served us both domestically and sexually. In return we took care of her health (physically, mentally, psychologically and financially). The relationship ended when she realised (after 1.5 years of service) that she missed her parents too much (she's only 20). She still visits regularly and is grateful for the time she spent here and the money she earned which we put aside for her.
Of course we are looking for a new slavegirl but untill now we have only found fakers and even scammers (on collarme, bdsm.com, dating-bdsm, etc.).
We have no experience finding a slavegirl online. Is there any chance of us finding our slavegirl here or should we just give up and return to the "real world" and continue our search there ?

Sorry for the long read and thanks for your interest !

Mr.Rudy & Mrs.Kimmy

quote:

ORIGINAL: rudykimmy

Ok, it's clear that we can't win a discussion against someone who possesses the ultimate wisdom and truth that explains everything and is definitive to everyone on this planet ... nay the galaxy(the Goddess of Logic).
Let's agree to disagree shall we ?

quote:

ORIGINAL: rudykimmy

@ UllrsIshtar,

I'll reply one last time and then I'll leave the last word to you, ok ?
I understand now that what you and I consider "extreme" is something entirely different. Nowhere have I mentioned
"nailing body parts to boards of wood/permanent scarification, amputation/stapling or sewing pussy lips shut/using cattle prods/scat play/roman showers/canine play/suspending people from hooks inserted in their flesh/etc"
as you so eloquently put into writing. To me "extreme" is clearly based on our experiences with what you call the "vanilla-world". So a good whipping leaving some non-permanent marks, some (hard) slapping, golden showers, caging, verbal and physical submission are pretty extreme to me already. I'm not judging the people who are into your type of "edgy stuff" but it's just not for us.
So my terminology was off, but I did mention that we're new to the typical choice of words as TieMeInKnottss correctly mentioned (thanks), so ... as I said before, the last word is yours !

quote:

ORIGINAL: rudykimmy
if you want your/our lifestyle and/or interests and/or sexual behaviour to become more socially acceptable, it would be best to welcome newcomers and help them in finding their space in the huge and complicated world called BDSM.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi
The two of you are in the committed relationship and are basically looking for a toy- that's not easier to find, it's harder. People don't generally like to be the automatic expendable one in what is their primary relationship. Most women out there are looking for someone to love, who will love them back.

quote:

You'll have some better response since you're willing to give the unicorn something in turn for her time with you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
- Lots of kinksters absolutely do not want the lifestyle to become more socially acceptable. ou don't get special treatment just because you're new.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I want to make a T-shirt that says, "If you read 50 Shades of Grey, don't even consider talking to me."

quote:

ORIGINAL: rudykimmy

Wow, that must have been very awkward, realising that your family just found out about the "true you" via a tv-show. But then again, maybe once the initial shock wears off, it might acutally be easier that way. I wouldn't know how to start a conversation like that (my respect to all who do dare, like so many gay people from traditional homes).
So good of you not to care what strangers think ... by nature I wouldn't either but as a commercially active individual, I just HAVE to or it could cost me a lot of money. People tend to be so judgemental