Any advice for someone new to BDSM?

Any advice for someone new to BDSM? (Full Version)

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Tinman42 -> Any advice for someone new to BDSM? (6/23/2006 9:53:26 AM)
This is going to be my first foray into the world of BDSM. I have no experience as a dom, but find myself in the position of having aquired a very enthusiastic sub and I find the prospect "invigorating". Any advice on properly setting the scene, basic equipment, training tehcniques, etc would be appreciated.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Any advice for someone new to BDSM? (6/23/2006 9:55:54 AM)
My advice for Novice Female Submissives Newbie! At a loss I'm a new domme seeking advice Does a slave also have to be a fool? sub: totally new concept Questions for other newbies The Journey Starting Out New to the Life, Help How to deal? Request for Advice Advice please: Relationships, bdsm, love and boundaries First time sub seeking you advice- how to find the right master? First time sub seeking advice a newbie seeking advice How can I be a great sub? Brand new life Help needed Emotional Rollercoaster Welcoming newbies New to this Just a few questions Do's and Dont's

CrappyDom -> RE: Any advice for someone new to BDSM? (6/23/2006 9:58:35 AM)
LA, You HAVE to stop doing that. Now if I pontificate I will just look like a self important ass.

mnottertail -> RE: Any advice for someone new to BDSM? (6/23/2006 9:59:15 AM)
Jesus H. Christ; LA. You must be able to type, cut and paste, and think at the speed of sound. Admiringly, Ron

CrappyDom -> RE: Any advice for someone new to BDSM? (6/23/2006 10:07:08 AM)
Tail, Isn't that SO hot?

mnottertail -> RE: Any advice for someone new to BDSM? (6/23/2006 10:09:56 AM)
Crap, Makes me want her for more than her kink.....................LOL! (can you imagine using her as a electronic daytrading slut?)

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Any advice for someone new to BDSM? (6/23/2006 10:15:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CrappyDom LA, You HAVE to stop doing that. Now if I pontificate I will just look like a self important ass. I'm sure you'll still have plenty of opportunities.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Any advice for someone new to BDSM? (6/23/2006 10:17:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail Jesus H. Christ; LA. You must be able to type, cut and paste, and think at the speed of sound. Admiringly, Ron ROFL I was just telling my partner last night that if my replacement at work doesn't touch type then they will have to get a new keyboard. I tend to go through keyboards quickly in terms of rubbing the lettering off. This list was actually created in response to a thread a long time ago asking for a sort of "dump thread" where we'd give ALL of our advice to newbies for a resource. There have been about 4 more threads since then asking the same question and I haven't added them to the "master list." So I just have to bring up the old list, copy and paste.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Any advice for someone new to BDSM? (6/23/2006 10:18:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail Crap, Makes me want her for more than her kink.....................LOL! (can you imagine using her as a electronic daytrading slut?) Ha I do love being used and made useful

Tamerofwild1s -> RE: Any advice for someone new to BDSM? (6/23/2006 11:59:24 AM)
WELLLLLLllllllll ... since LA took care of everything I can go back to laughing and having fun .... she is such a pleathora of knowledge in all honesty . take your time .. don't push your own limits without being completely comfortable ... remember the one your dealing wqith is trusting you with what your doing to her ... so keep an eye on signs she maybe ready for a break .. and by all means before playing with her .. have an indepth conversation about her own limits . a simple crying may not be a sign to stop but a sign to push a bit further ..... and give her a safeword to use . this will help in determining when enough is enough. Good Luck and I wish the best for you

windchymes -> RE: Any advice for someone new to BDSM? (6/23/2006 1:22:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CrappyDom LA, You HAVE to stop doing that. Now if I pontificate I will just look like a self important ass. Wow, gotta love that. Bless you. You are truly evolved and enlightened![:D]

OsideGirl -> RE: Any advice for someone new to BDSM? (6/23/2006 1:23:32 PM)
Awwww...and I'm so honored that my advice post was the first one listed.

Kinkypupper -> RE: Any advice for someone new to BDSM? (6/23/2006 4:46:05 PM)
First question if you are not into bdsm how did you end up with a enthusiastic sub. ? Also how do you know you are indeed a "Dom" type ?? best suggestion goto http://castlerealm.com/ and do some reading. Find the local bdsm group near you and goto a Munch or two. Ask questions. Do not take all websites at face value. Phil

Lisa21068 -> RE: Any advice for someone new to BDSM? (6/27/2006 12:24:09 PM)
Hi, Feel the same way, except i am a submissive female new to this. can relate totally. Good luck to you. Lisa

VandalHeart -> RE: Any advice for someone new to BDSM? (6/27/2006 3:54:14 PM)
And here I thought I might be usefull for once...oh well. Back to being superfluous! YAY!!!

hizgeorgiapeach -> RE: Any advice for someone new to BDSM? (6/27/2006 10:01:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kinkypupper First question if you are not into bdsm how did you end up with a enthusiastic sub. ? Also how do you know you are indeed a "Dom" type ?? best suggestion goto http://castlerealm.com/ and do some reading. Find the local bdsm group near you and goto a Munch or two. Ask questions. Do not take all websites at face value. Phil Oh dear ghods NO - any place but castlerealm fantasy land! Read the posts here in the CM forums. Try looking at Steel-Door.com and Sexuality.org and Cuffs.com. But NOT castle "i wanna live in a fantasy with rose colored glasses where everything is always romance and wonderful" realm.

feastie -> RE: Any advice for someone new to BDSM? (6/28/2006 3:54:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hizgeorgiapeach quote: ORIGINAL: Kinkypupper First question if you are not into bdsm how did you end up with a enthusiastic sub. ? Also how do you know you are indeed a "Dom" type ?? best suggestion goto http://castlerealm.com/ and do some reading. Find the local bdsm group near you and goto a Munch or two. Ask questions. Do not take all websites at face value. Phil Oh dear ghods NO - any place but castlerealm fantasy land! Read the posts here in the CM forums. Try looking at Steel-Door.com and Sexuality.org and Cuffs.com. But NOT castle "i wanna live in a fantasy with rose colored glasses where everything is always romance and wonderful" realm. There's nothing wrong with reading castlerealm, especially for a newbie. It does have its place. Some people enjoy some romance along with their BDSM. However, all the other stuff should be read too. www.castlerealm.com www.submissiveloving.com www.steel-door.com www.cuffs.com www.sexuality.org www.leatherviews.com Books: A Loving Dominant Different Loving Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns Partners in Power The Bottoming Book Clue...don't read just the stuff marked dominant if you're a dominant...read the submissive stuff too...same goes for submissives. Find your local group...usually BDSM followed by the name of your town or nearest large city will in the search window will pull something up. Finally, be yourself.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Any advice for someone new to BDSM? (6/28/2006 6:29:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: feastie There's nothing wrong with reading castlerealm, especially for a newbie. It does have its place. Some people enjoy some romance along with their BDSM. However, all the other stuff should be read too. Thanks, and I agree. I used to be the moderator of the CastleRealm forums when they existed in their last incarnation and it was very useful to people. CastleRealm itself is actually a nice site. It just gets used for target practice because it's so popular and because people use it poorly. But trust me, the same over romantic illusions in newbies would still exist even if CastleRealm weren't around. And I think it's a good resource if used properly.

feastie -> RE: Any advice for someone new to BDSM? (6/28/2006 4:40:24 PM)
Castlerealm is where I experienced my personal epiphany. I hadn't really heard of BDSM, of D/s until I started chatting. At the time, it was completely offensive to me. But, one thing lead to another and I found myself reading the subSpace section and something just clicked. I recognized myself and my attitudes about my personal relationships with men and it just flabbergasted me. I honestly believed that everyone in the world was compelled to please their partner, to make them happy. I hadn't realized that there was this huge piece of my personal puzzle that had been missing. And suddenly, there it was. I sat there and just bawled. I mean howled. So while I don't agree with every little thing that's there, I do find it does have a lot of value and I always include it in my list of things to read for newbies. smiles in warm remembrance

skaterboy -> RE: Any advice for someone new to BDSM? (6/28/2006 6:57:30 PM)
I'm new on this site too, but I was told in a Forrest Gump accent...when I said I was going to join the site......Ruuuun, Skaaaater...Ruuuuun. and I diiiid and I'm still runnin...perhaps you should run too? Clears out your head, allows you to break a sweat and wonder, what the hell you are getting in to? I wish you the best...but, my advice is "run." Vanilla is so much easier...trust me!

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