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RE: offer - 4/4/2013 8:05:58 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hairpullinggal

Thank you all very much. You all gave me things to think about I had not even considered.
I have to admit I am not being the smartest idiot on the block in this regard. Thank you for bringing to my attention and waking me up.
And if it is a shishkabob I'm wanted to be....that skewer will not be poking me!
Thank you all again, most appreciated!

HPG

I think maybe you could benefit from finding yourself an experienced female submissive as your mentor. I think it would help you find your way.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to hairpullinggal)

Post #: 21

RE: offer - 4/4/2013 8:25:54 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

HPG,

You wrote a few weeks ago about an unpleasant encounter you had, and now you are here asking about becoming someone's slave?

Is it possible you are moving a bit too fast?
I know the desire for belonging-ness can be strong and such but if you were dating in the "vanilla world" would you be entertaining the thought of how to prove yourself to someone, or would you just be trying to get to know someone and have them get to know you?
If you are looking for a relationship then this should be like dating... with kink (and kink need not be the focus in the beginning).

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to hairpullinggal)

Post #: 22

RE: offer - 4/4/2013 9:24:15 AM

hairpullinggal

Posts: 18
Joined: 3/19/2013
Status: offline

I have been wondering the same thing. in my defense all I can say is I've been single 4 so long that I sometimes feel that I need 2 run 2 catch up b4 I'm passed by.
perhaps it is best to let it.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 23

RE: offer - 4/4/2013 10:01:57 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

oh my...
What do people expect when they ask these things?
"I will bring a goat, a roll of cheese and a gallon bucket."?

quote:

ORIGINAL: hairpullinggal

recently was asked by a Master if I did decide to become his slave what and how would I offer myself to him.
I understand the question, but have no idea as to what
Is wanted and or appreciated , possibly expected.
Hoping someone could offer some info, maybe even a
Suggestion or 2...?

Thanks for any help you can give me...

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to hairpullinggal)

Post #: 24

RE: offer - 4/4/2013 11:54:56 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hairpullinggal

I have been wondering the same thing. in my defense all I can say is I've been single 4 so long that I sometimes feel that I need 2 run 2 catch up b4 I'm passed by.
perhaps it is best to let it.

You joined not too long ago.
Chances are you are new enough that you are still being deluged with cmails.

Anyone worth your time will be willing to put time in to get to know you.
Those who expect instant obedience are usually the type who don't deserve it.
As with most things, you will get out of this what you put into it.

I am almost 9 years older than you are.
I joined in 2007.
It took 18 months for my One to find me here.
He was local to me and sent me a cmail within a few days of His joining CM.

That was over 4 years ago.

If you were going to paint a room in your house, (or have it painted), would you slap up any old color that came in dented, rusting cans, or would you think about what colors you were going to paint it and carefully paint it after proper prepping?

Don't get me wrong: it can be fun to buy paint from the Oops! section, and that might work for some trim.... but I wouldn't want to paint my whole house that way.
Patience can go a long way towards getting you what you are seeking but if you are rushing things, chances are you haven't even fully thought out what it is you are looking for.

If you want more than a quick play date, (and there is nothing wrong with a play date if that is what you are seeking), then you will likely have a better experience if you slow things down.

You may find these articles on sub-frenzy helpful:

http://safesubcenter.blogspot.com/2005/06/sub-frenzy.html

http://www.submissiveguide.com/2009/06/sub-frenzy/

http://www.albanypowerexchange.com/Lifestyle/sub_frenzies.htm

edit: typo

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 4/4/2013 12:27:55 PM >

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to hairpullinggal)

Post #: 25

RE: offer - 4/4/2013 12:06:29 PM

phoenixasubbie

Posts: 55
Joined: 10/28/2012
Status: offline

The advice you are being given to slow down is good advice. Sadly so few of us heed it when we are starting on our paths...hence sub frenzy. I know I sure didn't.
And I put myself in some potentially bad situations....and got lucky. Sometimes luckier than others.

OsideGirl is right-- find an experienced submissive to mentor you. I don't know if you are on FetLife or not, but there are a lot of local groups on there if you need help finding any.

But at the very least, kudos for you for putting yourself out there and asking questions.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 26

RE: offer - 4/4/2013 5:05:07 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

"I will bring a goat, a roll of cheese and a gallon bucket."?

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 27

RE: offer - 4/4/2013 6:03:03 PM

hairpullinggal

Posts: 18
Joined: 3/19/2013
Status: offline

Thank you...I am on FETLIFE. I do go to muches and play partys. Have met a lot of nice people and attend a few classes. All very helpful. I haven't participated yet at any party except to be spanked. I do feel that I'm taking baby steps, which is a good thing. And at other times I'm alittle over whelmed. I don't want to make mistakes yet I have already made some. The suggestion of a mentor I have already been considering. And have someone in mind, just not sure if she would be interested.

Thank you !!

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 28

RE: offer - 4/5/2013 8:30:29 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I always answered that question with "by being myself". If they didn't like it, then I knew the answer they were looking for is "by getting on my knees and sucking your cock" which would quickly get them the silent treatment from thereon in.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to hairpullinggal)

Post #: 29

RE: offer - 4/9/2013 7:03:23 AM

AngelSub2Kneel

Posts: 16
Joined: 4/8/2013
Status: offline

I agree with the comments that are here, even though the orginal poster has seemed to got all the responses she wants I want to put my 2 cents in anyways since i am late to the fourms :) . ANYWAYS, I always hated this question until I realized what they were actually wanting..........like someone said "material" they wanted you to say something along the lines, "id get on my knees and take your...well u get the point".....then that would lead to...well yea. Anyways its a learning experience. With that being said NOT ALL who ask this question all want the same thing. Some are trying to see where your mindset is, some are to get you to talk, and to some its just a test. Its the way some weed out the wanna be's from the reals.

(in reply to chatterbox24)

Post #: 30

RE: offer - 4/9/2013 4:34:59 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AngelSub2Kneel

I agree with the comments that are here, even though the orginal poster has seemed to got all the responses she wants I want to put my 2 cents in anyways since i am late to the fourms :) . ANYWAYS, I always hated this question until I realized what they were actually wanting..........like someone said "material" they wanted you to say something along the lines, "id get on my knees and take your...well u get the point".....then that would lead to...well yea. Anyways its a learning experience. With that being said NOT ALL who ask this question all want the same thing. Some are trying to see where your mindset is, some are to get you to talk, and to some its just a test. Its the way some weed out the wanna be's from the reals.

Yep, as in those who ask are the wannabe's.

(in reply to AngelSub2Kneel)

Post #: 31

RE: offer - 4/9/2013 5:58:03 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

quote:

ORIGINAL: AngelSub2Kneel
Some are trying to see where your mindset is, some are to get you to talk, and to some its just a test. Its the way some weed out the wanna be's from the reals.

Yep, as in those who ask are the wannabe's.

I'll agree with that.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 32

RE: offer - 4/10/2013 8:59:48 AM

alildifferent

Posts: 38
Joined: 9/30/2012
Status: offline

Perhaps he's a Gorean master? They have a chain of ways slaves are supposed to offer themselves. Positions, dances, etc... If your looking for ideas do some research down that area.

(in reply to chatterbox24)

Post #: 33

RE: offer - 4/10/2013 9:09:49 AM

Arturas

Posts: 3245
Status: offline

quote:

how would I offer myself to him

This is not a question for the forum. It is to you. You alone. He is wanting to know how real you are, how intelligent you are, how passonate you are, and one way to do this is to test your imagination and your passion with such questions. What will you tell Him?

< Message edited by Arturas -- 4/10/2013 9:10:45 AM >

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to hairpullinggal)

Post #: 34

RE: offer - 4/10/2013 12:40:53 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: alildifferent

Perhaps he's a Gorean master? They have a chain of ways slaves are supposed to offer themselves.

No they don't have a chain of ways in which slaves are supposed to offer themselves. If you've heard/read otherwise you've seen roleplay methods described that have nothing at all to do with the books, usually aren't even derivative of the books but completely made up, and have no common standards among them (what the made up ritual is depends on the group).

There also isn't such a thing as a "Gorean Master" Goreans free men hold the tittle of "Master" in relationship to all kajirae. To say "Gorean Master" is akin to saying "he's a male man" the male/Master is inherently implied by the man/Gorean.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to alildifferent)

Post #: 35

RE: offer - 4/10/2013 12:45:34 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

If it is sexually, mouth, ass, gash, tits....in that order.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

Post #: 36

RE: offer - 4/10/2013 12:54:23 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

You, sir, are obviously clueless on how to handle a true kajira!
That sequence may suffice for mere subbies, but for a true slave the correct order is tits, ass, mouth, gash.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 37

RE: offer - 4/10/2013 8:57:55 PM

njlauren

Posts: 1577
Joined: 10/1/2011
Status: offline

I am late as always,but I agree, I think you need to take it easy. If you are involved in the local scene, munches, etc, use that to get a feel for things, talk to people. One thing about most scene people, IRL they tend to love to talk to newbies, mentor them, bore the shit out of them with stories (*lol* sorry, couldn't resist that). If you run into D/s couples, ask them how they got together, how did they become what they are, it is really valuable. Among other things,people who go to the munches and such, unless they are newbies, are people who are actually living this stuff in some ways or the other, as opposed to people on the internet who may be lifestyle, or may be some wanker locked behind a computer screen who only knows what they read online or saw in some cheesy movie *shrug*.....

Maybe I am old fashioned, but I think the poster in question is more than likely a wanker, I don't know how you met them, how long you have been talking to them, but things like becoming someone's slave or sub doesn't happen quickly, even if it is cyber only, in a sense, the process to me is two way, the sub is earning their way into a relationship but so is the domme. If the guy wanted to know what you are interested in, what you might bring t a relationship, they should say it, but the way this guy worded it sounds pretty clueless to me.....and if this is going to be an IRL thing, well, he is so far from the place of being in the position to ask that question it is staggering.....put it this way, if I was looking for a dominant, and the person started talking collaring, taking me on as their slave, etc, based on online messages, long before we had met or really discussed things, I would make like a rocket and take off........want my advice? If someone is that eager to jump in with both feet quickly, especially with someone who is apparently a newbie, they aren't what they seem. I have known a lot of D/s couples over the many years I have been in and out of the scene, and even the most experienced people tend to take it slow building a relationship. I know of some 'firecracker' relationships that seem to explode (usually with experienced D/s people), most take their time to develop. As a new person, you need to protect yourself from your own eagerness, I suspect a lot of people on here have been there, caught up in the excitement, wanting to push things, but with this stuff, patience really is a virtue, and if someone is genuine, they should be willing to work down the path with you:)

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

Post #: 38

RE: offer - 4/14/2013 6:09:53 AM

hairpullinggal

Posts: 18
Joined: 3/19/2013
Status: offline

Thank u all 4 suggestions and comments. And 4 info 2 look up. Thanks again, all helpful.

HPG

(in reply to njlauren)

Post #: 39

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