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Focus50 -> RE: Nuts and Bolts (4/6/2013 3:22:02 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman
That was in line with what I was looking to find out. Ladies, no offense, but my question was directed solely at the male Doms, which is why I prefaced it with the word "Gentlemen". I don't want to be a dick, but I wanted to see where their heads were regarding this matter. I know full well that toys are ultimately irrelevant to the big picture. As a man, I form associations with objects in relation to the situation. I'll give an example here: when I'm wearing a three-piece suit, I look, act, and feel differently than when I'm in a t-shirt and jeans. Another example would be a home workshop.
If you must know the genesis of this question, it's simple. I suffered a small bout of dungeon envy the other night. A buddy of mine had the house to himself when his lovely wife of 20+ years went out on a ladies night with her friends. He invited a bunch of us over to drink beer and shots, tell lies, all the fun stuff about being a guy. Both of them know I'm a scene player, and he told me to come look at something.
He'd converted his daughter's old bedroom in the basement into a very, very nice play area. As you can guess, they're both players too. He's a carpenter by trade, and he spent a couple of years turning the room into a first-class space. Hell, you could probably shoot a video there, if you removed one wall, it's so good. I wish I had pictures, but he doesn't want them on the internet, because his old lady would probably murder him in his sleep if they ever showed up there. And me too, because she knows I'd post them.
That's why I asked this question...Perhaps I needed to phrase it better.
I've never found it boring or uninformative in getting a fem/sub's perspective. Quite the opposite as both females and submissives rationalise most things differently and thus in ways I can't glean from within. But ok, I've utilised the ideas of other Dom/mes, too.
That said, one of those differences between D & s is when a scene actually starts. For me, it starts from the instant I call her over. The formalities like making sure she's responding how I expect my meat to; good posture; correct eye cues to be either down or directly at mine etc.
Not to demean, but in my experience, subs are attention junkies and at the prospect of play happening, they're also sensation junkies. In that sense, the scene (for her) hasn't begun til she's all trussed up however the Dom wants and the real tormentor n victim stuff starts.
And they can be impatient to get to their "starting line" whereas the perfectionist control-freak I am means that *everything* is the scene and has to be as I want. Such as the occasional unpulling of ropework that may well be fine in a practical sense of restraint but isn't aesthetically pleasing to my eye. Especially if I'm gonna take a few pics.
And that attitude resonates across the board. IE I don't buy what I consider crap or make crap; own crap or use crap. And when I tie her up, there's none of that "you're not sposta untie yourself" crap either, cos if she physically can, then I've fucked up.
Focus.
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