Anybody have words of wisdom?

Anybody have words of wisdom? (Full Version)

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Sampleme -> Anybody have words of wisdom? (4/5/2013 3:31:12 PM)
It's a long story but ill cut to the chase. How do you deal with the disappointment of a new Dom telling you he's really not that into you because of your weight? Overweight my whole life, you'd think this crap wouldn't be outta left field. It's just we have/ had such as great connection otherwise. Sigh.

OsideGirl -> RE: Anybody have words of wisdom? (4/5/2013 3:33:45 PM)
Everyone has their preferences. Some like tall, some like short, some like blonde, some like brunette. There is someone out there for everybody.

Sampleme -> RE: Anybody have words of wisdom? (4/5/2013 3:47:59 PM)
That I get. What about " really, it's fine. " and then it's not months later.

OsideGirl -> RE: Anybody have words of wisdom? (4/5/2013 4:17:36 PM)
He had tingly genitals at the prospect of having kinky sex and a few months later the shine wore off.

ScarlettSlut -> RE: Anybody have words of wisdom? (4/5/2013 4:41:12 PM)
I would say, Its his loss. Why would you want to be with someone who is so superficial that one minute your weight wasn't a problem, and then magically a few months later it is. I think he was never okay with it to start with hun xx

SomethingCatchy -> RE: Anybody have words of wisdom? (4/5/2013 5:01:24 PM)
I've been in a similar situation. I've dated someone who was overweight, was working toward realistic goals, and then it tapered off as their motivation wore out. My attraction for them dropped dramatically since I didn't see any effort to be healthy. Perhaps he noticed things you were doing/not doing and they got to him. Perhaps he was blinded by lust and then reality set in. Either way, it hurts to be told that someone doesn't find you attractive. I am really sorry about that.

RedMagic1 -> RE: Anybody have words of wisdom? (4/5/2013 6:47:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy I've been in a similar situation. I've dated someone who was overweight, was working toward realistic goals, and then it tapered off as their motivation wore out. My attraction for them dropped dramatically since I didn't see any effort to be healthy. I've been in the exact same situation. I was dating a woman off CM who was heavy but had a lovely face. What killed the romance for me was her ordering cream cheese on pizza, and similar "minor" things. Her weight was the result of a long-term life path of unhealthy behavior, some of which she wasn't even aware of, and I didn't want to commit to "change" someone with such deep issues out of the gate.

NuevaVida -> RE: Anybody have words of wisdom? (4/5/2013 6:59:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sampleme It's a long story but ill cut to the chase. How do you deal with the disappointment of a new Dom telling you he's really not that into you because of your weight? Overweight my whole life, you'd think this crap wouldn't be outta left field. It's just we have/ had such as great connection otherwise. Sigh. When I met the Mister I was very overweight, but had already begun a weight loss plan (I have since reached 5 pounds of my goal). Here's the thing - disappointment lies within you. He and I met online first and as it was becoming clear we were on a path toward developing a relationship, I flat out told him I am not a small woman...I told him my actual weight and made no apologies for it. I told him I understood that a woman my size (at the time) was not attractive to a lot of men, and that was perfectly OK with me, so if he didn't want to continue with me, that was totally OK with me - I understood. That was four years ago. I believe when you're comfortable enough with yourself, you don't care all that much what people think of your looks, or if they go away because of them. But here's the thing, and some others on this thread have touched on it. I believe far more important than size is how you carry yourself and the way you come across. Are you motivated? Happy? Taking care of yourself? A positive person overall? Sometimes those attractions outweigh the physical (and no I did not intend that pun).

phoenixasubbie -> RE: Anybody have words of wisdom? (4/5/2013 7:41:02 PM)
OP- There is someone for everyone in this world, and there are LOTS of men into BBW and beyond... What I am curious about is how you feel about yourself.? I agree with NuevaVida that how we feel about ourselves, and show ourselves to the world greatly impacts how we are perceived. If you are fine with your weight, then find people who celebrate you. If you are not, then do something about it. And I mean this in the kindest way possible, but if the connection was there that you thought, he would have at least offered to help you. Perhaps he did and I assumed wrong? For example, my last Master wanted me to lose weight. He phrased it to me this way..." I expect you to take care of yourself as you belong to me" We didn't work out, but his words stuck and I learned to take better care of myself. Bottom line is that you want someone to love you for you and not what you weigh or don't weigh. Best to you-

SubPet715 -> RE: Anybody have words of wisdom? (4/8/2013 11:05:05 AM)
Passion isn't happiness.

JeffBC -> RE: Anybody have words of wisdom? (4/8/2013 11:16:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sampleme How do you deal with the disappointment of a new Dom telling you he's really not that into you because of your weight? I'm struggling to think of the good sort of rejection... you know... all those times I was rejected but left with the warm fuzzy feelings. I'm not coming up with much.

Rasciallymisty -> RE: Anybody have words of wisdom? (4/8/2013 11:31:31 AM)
I too have been heavy all my life and had something along the same lines happen. He wanted me to look better because I was then with him. Well I am healthy, have all kinds of energy and I am active. So I told him the door he walked in would look rather nicely as it shut on his[:D] ............well you get the idea. I am the happiest I have ever been and have meet someone new. Keep your chin up and as I tell my kids everything happens for a reason....even if we may not like it at the time. I wish you the best on finding Mr Right it will happen when its supposed to happen. Kar[:)]

littleone35 -> RE: Anybody have words of wisdom? (4/8/2013 12:19:57 PM)
I know it sucks but better find out what kind of guy is now then years down the road. If he is that weight a phobic Then he is not the right guyy for you. Kinda of make me think of the movie Shallow Hal. When he meets this really overweigh woman but because he is looking at the woman she really is n=and not just her weaiht he sees what a beauifful woman she really is. I say if a guy is not willing to look beyond the shell they you are well rid of him. Now you can find a guy who as the song says "loves you just the way you are" Matt's littleone

NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Anybody have words of wisdom? (4/8/2013 2:40:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sampleme It's a long story but ill cut to the chase. How do you deal with the disappointment of a new Dom telling you he's really not that into you because of your weight? I would say the same way you would deal with a vanilla guy in the same situation. But it's hardly cool for him to be okay with it and then, a few months down the road, NOT be okay with it. But then, who ever said life was fair? Maybe the "new car smell" faded? NBMG

mnottertail -> RE: Anybody have words of wisdom? (4/8/2013 2:41:03 PM)
He sampled you. End of joke.

AngelSub2Kneel -> RE: Anybody have words of wisdom? (4/9/2013 6:50:14 AM)
I completely agree, I am a BBW and currently pregnant, some men are completely turned off at the thought, BUT I have simply told them, ahead of time yep I have curves, yep I am pregnant if you dont like it, not my fault. Hold your head up high dear cause trust me there are ALOT better men/women out there that loves a women with some extra, and like NuevaVida said if you are comfortable with yourself, others will see it and be ok with it as well. If they are not, then it is NOT your problem. *edit** and the fact that it took him a long time to realize this maybe also means he wasnt comfortable enough with it to begin with, and not comfortable with himself. quote: ORIGINAL: NuevaVida quote: ORIGINAL: Sampleme It's a long story but ill cut to the chase. How do you deal with the disappointment of a new Dom telling you he's really not that into you because of your weight? Overweight my whole life, you'd think this crap wouldn't be outta left field. It's just we have/ had such as great connection otherwise. Sigh. When I met the Mister I was very overweight, but had already begun a weight loss plan (I have since reached 5 pounds of my goal). Here's the thing - disappointment lies within you. He and I met online first and as it was becoming clear we were on a path toward developing a relationship, I flat out told him I am not a small woman...I told him my actual weight and made no apologies for it. I told him I understood that a woman my size (at the time) was not attractive to a lot of men, and that was perfectly OK with me, so if he didn't want to continue with me, that was totally OK with me - I understood. That was four years ago. I believe when you're comfortable enough with yourself, you don't care all that much what people think of your looks, or if they go away because of them. But here's the thing, and some others on this thread have touched on it. I believe far more important than size is how you carry yourself and the way you come across. Are you motivated? Happy? Taking care of yourself? A positive person overall? Sometimes those attractions outweigh the physical (and no I did not intend that pun).

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Anybody have words of wisdom? (4/9/2013 7:01:36 AM)
You may have felt that you had a great conncetion, but something happened in conversation, or possibly sex, that turned him off. I don't believe that he saw your photos, met you, nothing was different, and out of left field. My guess is, and Im with Ron. He didn't dig the sample. I doubt this is so much about your weight, unless you are #300, but told him you are #140. Be honest with any prospective, and your weight should not than be a problem. I present myself as I am, big girl, with current pictures. If I get the slightest inkling the person I'm talking to is not into me, as I am, I'm out. You on the other hand, if you are hating your weight, and thinking it's a source of rejection after someone meets you, having see your picture, than my suggestion is, do something about it, and how you think about/respect yourself. Good luck, M

MrRodgers -> RE: Anybody have words of wisdom? (4/9/2013 10:26:26 AM)
I have always told them up front, it is not about being skinny it is about...being healthy. From that point on I demonstrate myself what I seek from her and she follows with equal desire...to get in shape and get healthy. When all is said and done, being in shape and healthy is simply one of life's greatest pleasures.

MarineKitten -> RE: Anybody have words of wisdom? (4/9/2013 11:22:24 AM)
"My weight is my business, not yours. If you can't accept a person for who they are then that says a lot about you. Now that I see you care more about physical beauty I can very easily say, ta-ta."

Forgetmenot21 -> RE: Anybody have words of wisdom? (4/9/2013 3:41:31 PM)
Hi I am a large lady too. don't worry it is his loss and your gain, there are so many other Doms that like the curvy lady. Any rejection hurts and this site is full of Dim Dom's but occasionally you will find the one that will make the true conection and give you back your confidence. One of my friends from here gave me this same pep talk today! Its hard but pick yourself up and call him shallow.[:)]

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