Self-Domination or Aspirational Submission. (Full Version)

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ARIES83 -> Self-Domination or Aspirational Submission. (4/6/2013 10:39:44 PM)

This topic was brought to mind by a question I
asked on another thread and I thought it would
be a good discussion in it's own right.

quote:

I was wondering... You know how some women
longing for, or identifying with submissiveness or
slavery may sometimes tie themselves up, self
confine, sit/ sleep on the floor or whatever else...


If you ever done something along those lines
yourself, what was it? And what would describe
as your motivations for acting it out?



littlewonder -> RE: Self-Domination or Aspirational Submission. (4/7/2013 7:38:42 AM)

Never done it. Never saw a reason to.

I don't understand doing all that. What if you ended up with some Dom who didn't like any of that kind of stuff? You've now screwed yourself because it has become so ingrained in you that you will be left longing for something you're not getting most likely or you end up "topping from the bottom" just to get it.

I don't feel like you need to do anything to feel submissive. You either are or you aren't. It has nothing to do with actions and everything to do with personality.



Missokyst -> RE: Self-Domination or Aspirational Submission. (4/7/2013 8:22:50 AM)

lol this is funny because just last month I posted something on Fet about getting my hair untangled from my bed. I was watching TV and lying around sick and it is my habit to twirl my hair or suck my fingers. It is apparently also evident I braid randomly. I had braided my hair into the bars of my metal headboard without even thinking about it and it took me a while to detangle (loose hairs slipped between curved bars).

I cannot say it was deliberately done, I think it was probably subconscious yearnings.

And like lw up there I don't think it is submissive, but I do think it is related to bondage.



DesFIP -> RE: Self-Domination or Aspirational Submission. (4/7/2013 2:11:16 PM)

I've done it, it's extremely sexual for me. So would tie my feet or one hand, have an orgasm, untie and go to sleep. But just occasionally, not consistently.




SubvsSlave -> RE: Self-Domination or Aspirational Submission. (4/7/2013 4:53:46 PM)

By way of my career I had to be out of state for about 3 months. It was extremely difficult being away from my Master. I wore my collar every night but, at times, I would attach my leash to my collar and loop the handle around my ankle and then wrap it around my leg and arm to give me the feeling, if ever so slightly, of being tied up. The feeling of being restrained in that context was very calming for me.



TieMeInKnottss -> RE: Self-Domination or Aspirational Submission. (4/7/2013 8:02:21 PM)

Initially, I immediately agreed with LW..I have never seen any reason to tie myself up. where is the fun in THAT? but after reading subvsslave...I admit I get a certain comfort from being immobile. I will take the blankets and "cocoon" myself in order to sleep.



RaspberryLemon -> RE: Self-Domination or Aspirational Submission. (4/7/2013 11:13:44 PM)

The only thing like that I can recall doing, is at times when I was missing my Master, sometimes I would clip my leash to my collar. It just made me feel closer to him when he was away.



LillyBoPeep -> RE: Self-Domination or Aspirational Submission. (4/8/2013 5:42:04 AM)

I have tied myself up before. I don't think it's necessarily submissive, though. I think it's more related to a bondage kink.
I'm also trying to learn more about rope and some things are easy enough to learn on yourself.



littleone35 -> RE: Self-Domination or Aspirational Submission. (4/8/2013 12:28:14 PM)

I adore bondage but only ig it is done by my Master. I never got thae same feeling by tying myself op so i stopped years ago. As for sleeping on the floor, i never did that , my Master always wants me in bed beside him. I am getting to old for floor sleeping anyway a 43 year old body on hardwood floors ( ouch). Of course if my Master wanted me too, i would but i would be one sore (and not in the good way) submissive.

Matt's littleone



HisPet21 -> RE: Self-Domination or Aspirational Submission. (4/9/2013 9:36:41 AM)

I think I am with UllrsIshtar on this one.

I don't engage in any self bondage now, as an adult. I tried it a few times, just to see if I could temporarily satisfy kinky urges, but doing things to myself is no fun and doesn't end up satisfying anything. Now, if I am feeling in a kinky mood and can't--for one reason or another--get the urges fulfilled, I'll write erotica or draw kinky pictures (that are awful, BTW). That's much more satisfying for me.

But as a child, I always was drawn to the idea of being helpless or captured, even before I learned about sex. So I often played games with other kids that involved getting chased, tied up, and then rescued by other people on my team. I also had a pretty wild imagination and concocted elaborate fantasies about being kidnapped by some evil dude and having to escape, and so would tie myself up to a chair or something. My parents never minded; it seemed normal to them.



ARIES83 -> RE: Self-Domination or Aspirational Submission. (4/9/2013 11:23:54 AM)

Thanks everyone who shared their experiences,
It sounds very much to me like something done
out of idle fantasy, or loneliness which is what I
was thinking...

Missokyst,
Maybe you subconsciously want to be a
hairdresser?



Missokyst -> RE: Self-Domination or Aspirational Submission. (4/9/2013 12:24:57 PM)

lol clearly you have never seen me when my hair drives me nuts and I have to "trim" it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ARIES83

Thanks everyone who shared their experiences,
It sounds very much to me like something done
out of idle fantasy, or loneliness which is what I
was thinking...

Missokyst,
Maybe you subconsciously want to be a
hairdresser?




orgasmdenial12 -> RE: Self-Domination or Aspirational Submission. (6/2/2013 10:46:21 AM)

Yeah, I denied myself orgasms and I undertook anal training. I wanted to be with a Master who was heavily into orgasm denial and anal sex, and I wanted to be ready for such a man when I met him. I kept a journal of my adventures and luckily for me people enjoyed reading the journal and it led to lots of great emails and dates, and now I am with a wonderful Dom because of it. The thing that most impressed people was my dedication and commitment to the journey, if I hadn't undertaken to better myself as a submissive I would never have met him. I'd recommend it for any submissive who feels like they are treading water and not attracting the Dominants they would like to. Showing a Dom you are serious about the kind of submissive you want to become can be a great starting point for the kind of Doms you are hoping to attract.



DesFIP -> RE: Self-Domination or Aspirational Submission. (6/5/2013 8:35:23 AM)

Re lw's comment, I wouldn't have gotten involved with a guy who wasn't a bondage top. I knew from the beginning that I needed that and not any sadism. It was as essential as him being a straight male who lived close enough to meet regularly. I had a whole list of what I needed to be compatible with someone and saw no need to settle for an unfulfilling relationship.

Other people may be attracted to a wider range which is fine for them. But that doesn't mean I had to accept less than I needed. If that was my only option, I'd have stayed celibate and adopted more dogs.



littlewonder -> RE: Self-Domination or Aspirational Submission. (6/5/2013 8:24:01 PM)

I've never done any of that. I've just always been me. The idea of tying myself up and playing with myself and such has never made me feel submissive. I have a submissive personality. Most of the time I defer to pretty much everyone because I have no desire to lead. So I guess I just feel submissive in my everyday life. I don't need to make myself feel that way.



Moonlightmaddnes -> RE: Self-Domination or Aspirational Submission. (6/7/2013 5:54:54 AM)

No never Back when we were young we slept on the floor just long enough to know it is not comfortable.
Self bondage, ha I could see myself unable to get untied, then I would never hear the end of it.



DesFIP -> RE: Self-Domination or Aspirational Submission. (6/7/2013 6:36:11 AM)

There appears to be a strong divide between those of us who view this as submission and those of us who do/did it to satisfy a need for bondage.
Sometimes it is just a physical thing with no other meaning.



NuevaVida -> RE: Self-Domination or Aspirational Submission. (6/7/2013 9:11:07 AM)

In my last relationship I'd sometimes sleep with collar/leash because it made me feel connected to him. I wasn't very stable in life yet and it made me feel secure.

I can understand it being just a physical thing, too. I'd imagine it would be relaxing and "Zen'ish" to some. I know when he's bound me I feel that way - it just feels comfortable. Doesn't happen often, though, and I have not felt the need to go to that place of comfort myself, but I can understand why others do.



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