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RE: Financial Domination? - 4/8/2013 5:06:39 PM

ARIES83

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That site looks interesting Zonie.

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RE: Financial Domination? - 4/8/2013 5:26:23 PM

Agent99

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RE: Financial Domination? - 4/9/2013 5:59:36 AM

Greta75

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We should have a sticky on this forum for financial domination.

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RE: Financial Domination? - 4/9/2013 6:34:25 AM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

ORIGINAL: submandibular
I would rather you didn't assume I thought it would be any different because it is BDSM. I seem to be a bit of an idealist. I had no idea prostitution was so rampant.

That is completely unfair, and shortshighted on your part. Not surprising though. I feel like most people who start these threads must be trying to save women's dignity, and poor/willing men, their money.

Why is financially dominating someone who is willing a problem? You called it prostitution, are you following these people and ascertaining that they are providing sex for money. Even if they were, is the reason they're whores because they are single, not married? Because relationships always involve money, spent in different ways of course, and controlled by one or the other.

If I'm in a relationship with a slave, and am controlling/taking his money, than what? Is the problem that I'm a girl controlling a guy's money? Would you be okay, if the guy was controlling her money first day into a relationship. Would you be okay if a girl was controlling her new boy's money?
I don't think it's fair to place your moral superiority in the middle of someone else's relationship, if they are consenting and happy with the situation. Hell even unhappy relationships, where one feels he/she is the only giver, is above reproach to the general public.

I'm going to take a wild guess and say, that if there are far more kinks for which "women" might be be stoned, for being distasteful. Taking money from men would come far below such things as: Scat play, watersports, whipping until one bleeds, women phucking men, cutting, cock whipping, electrical play, bondage, etc. I'm willing to bet the public would prefer a girl taking a guy's money any day.

My point is, there is an awful lot of complaining about girls taking money from guys. The other side is, most of us, receive proposals that would only be appropriate for a hooker, without the money offer. Although I have seen a large increase in offers of money, so things are looking up, lol.

M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 4/9/2013 6:53:18 AM >

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RE: Financial Domination? - 4/9/2013 7:14:32 AM

Rochsub2009

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig
My point is, there is an awful lot of complaining about girls taking money from guys. The other side is, most of us, receive proposals that would only be appropriate for a hooker, without the money offer.

I think that's the point that most of the men who start these threads miss. They think it's offensive for a woman to ask a man for money, but they don't stop to think about all of the demeaning messages that women get.

Why don't we have weekly threads by guys with titles like "Stop treating the ladies like tramps" or "All women aren't whores"? The incidents of women being disrespected probably outnumbers the number of financial Dommes on this site. Yet, we get innumerable threads cursing financial Dommes, and almost none decrying disrespect towards women. That's sad.

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RE: Financial Domination? - 4/9/2013 7:29:26 AM

submandibular

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I would appreciate it if you didn't quote me out of context. I was replying to a statement made about sites where sex is traded for money. I did not equate FinDommes with prostitution. As the rather eloquent UllrsIshtar stated however, I did make the mistake of generalising and for that I apologise and hold my hands up to, again.

I have never made an obscene proposal on here, my frustration is that it appears a lot of people on here claim to be Financial Dommes but rather are looking for an easy way to make money.

I will however admit that prior to this thread I did not realise how much of a fetish it actually was, my previous point still stands true in my eyes though.

< Message edited by submandibular -- 4/9/2013 7:36:27 AM >

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RE: Financial Domination? - 4/9/2013 7:38:40 AM

submandibular

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

Why don't we have weekly threads by guys with titles like "Stop treating the ladies like tramps" or "All women aren't whores"? The incidents of women being disrespected probably outnumbers the number of financial Dommes on this site. Yet, we get innumerable threads cursing financial Dommes, and almost none decrying disrespect towards women. That's sad.

Perhaps you should start one.

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RE: Financial Domination? - 4/9/2013 7:57:59 AM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
I think that's the point that most of the men who start these threads miss. They think it's offensive for a woman to ask a man for money, but they don't stop to think about all of the demeaning messages that women get.

I've always thought it was funny that so many guys judge a woman by her looks, but get offended when a woman judges him by his wallet.

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RE: Financial Domination? - 4/9/2013 8:17:04 AM

iamalive888

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My view on FinDom's is VERY negative. There are a ton of Male FinDom's just as an FYI. I have been asked many times to submit money or gifts and I said no way.

What I feel is that FinDoms aren't trying to help these people. They are trying to extort what they can as quickly as they can. They play with their psychological problems to ensure max monetary compensation for little more then a picture and some mean words. It's disgusting. Obviously that is up to the person to determine if this is right for them. But I think it's morally disgusting to extort money from someone like this.

My other problem is like the OP showed, they don't care about you, they just want your money. Their profiles read always "don't expect webcams or pictures, I don't have to confirm nothing". So basically you could be giving money to a 14 year old boy who stole pictures from FB. Why would you fork over money without even knowing who the hell you are giving it to? And even bigger problem for me is that these people show pictures and laugh at how many things they can buy. Want to give money? Give it to charity! We have little kids dying of cancer, people dying of AIDS, people starving every day but we should give money to these idiots because they have a picture?

Of course the people on this site defend the activity. I'm not saying ban it or dictate what people should do. But having a conversation especially one that shows the negative aspects might wake up someone who is struggling with this. I have seen plenty of people that post on Yahoo Groups I am a part of saying how they want to stop but they are so addicted to the high. Think about it logically, why would one who works hard for his money to survive want to give their money away to someone merely because they yelled at them to?

If your friend or family was struggling with an addiction, wouldn't you want to let them know that it's destructive and counterproductive? Or would you say, hey it's their life and their body? I'm pretty sure any decent human being would try to let them know it's a bad idea.

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RE: Financial Domination? - 4/9/2013 8:23:06 AM

Greta75

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quote:

I've always thought it was funny that so many guys judge a woman by her looks, but get offended when a woman judges him by his wallet.

Especially when looks, you are kinda born with, and can't really change it unless plastic surgery, which poor girl will then be accused of being fake all over after that.
But wallet is something that speaks of capability of a person.

And subs who do not like financial domination should simply go for domme or doms that isn't into financial domination. Just like I don't like anal, thus only seek doms who isn't into anal play. I don't complain about doms who enjoy anal. They are not my "target market".

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 4/9/2013 8:30:03 AM >

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RE: Financial Domination? - 4/9/2013 8:27:14 AM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75
But wallet is something that speaks of capability of a person.

Not necessarily. Money and social standing can be luck of birth as well and not have anything to do with capability. The Kennedy's range from murderers to people just short of sainthood.

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RE: Financial Domination? - 4/9/2013 8:28:35 AM

VideoAdminChi

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RE: Financial Domination? - 4/9/2013 8:28:40 AM

Greta75

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Not necessarily. Money and social standing can be luck of birth as well and not have anything to do with capability. The Kennedy's range from murderers to people just short of sainthood.

This I also disagree. Somebody could be born to wealth, but it takes nothing to squander it all, it still takes capability to maintain it or increase it.
That's y people who win 10million in lottery can go bankrupt.

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RE: Financial Domination? - 4/9/2013 8:30:34 AM

submandibular

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quote:

ORIGINAL: iamalive888

quote:

Of course the people on this site defend the activity. I'm not saying ban it or dictate what people should do. But having a conversation especially one that shows the negative aspects might wake up someone who is struggling with this. I have seen plenty of people that post on Yahoo Groups I am a part of saying how they want to stop but they are so addicted to the high. Think about it logically, why would one who works hard for his money to survive want to give their money away to someone merely because they yelled at them to?

If your friend or family was struggling with an addiction, wouldn't you want to let them know that it's destructive and counterproductive? Or would you say, hey it's their life and their body? I'm pretty sure any decent human being would try to let them know it's a bad idea.

I agree, there are many who struggle with an addiction that could result in their ruination and there are many who seek to exploit it without regard for the others' well being. Now I am sure there will be response to your statement along the lines of "I take care of my subs finances carefully etc...." but the reality is far far more do not think like that and are as you say looking to acquire as much as they can as quickly as they can.

(sorry I am new to message boards, and am still trying to get the hang of using quotations correctly.)

< Message edited by submandibular -- 4/9/2013 8:32:41 AM >

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RE: Financial Domination? - 4/9/2013 8:39:10 AM

iamalive888

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There have been yahoo groups that have banned FinDoms from posting. They are usually brash and yell at you to send them things with little or no previous contact then say screw off if you don't. There was even a "Dom" on one that was laughing and enjoying that he ruined this one guys marriage. He laughed he extorted so much money and that the guy had a mental condition. These are opportunists. And of the worst kind. Yet again, how do you know these people aren't underage minors using friends pictures to make money off of you?

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RE: Financial Domination? - 4/9/2013 8:43:01 AM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Not necessarily. Money and social standing can be luck of birth as well and not have anything to do with capability. The Kennedy's range from murderers to people just short of sainthood.

This I also disagree. Somebody could be born to wealth, but it takes nothing to squander it all, it still takes capability to maintain it or increase it.
That's y people who win 10million in lottery can go bankrupt.

You can disagree all you want. I grew up among the social register families of New England. It would take something unusual to squander old family money, since it's usually controlled by a trust. In a lot of cases, the only money they have direct access to is the interest earned by the trust in the previous year.

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RE: Financial Domination? - 4/9/2013 8:48:58 AM

submandibular

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Its a shame, I never really grew up with money, and my disdain for throwing it away probably stems from that. As for the not knowing whether or not it is a minor or a hairy assed truck driver pretending to be a female dominant, well I guess there is no knowing .... it just in my eyes highlights the desperation and reality of the addiction.

< Message edited by submandibular -- 4/9/2013 8:50:29 AM >

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RE: Financial Domination? - 4/9/2013 8:52:39 AM

searching4mysir

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quote:

Yet again, how do you know these people aren't underage minors using friends pictures to make money off of you?

You don't, but I'm not in the habit of saving people from their own stupidity. I'm not Captain Save-a-Ho.

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RE: Financial Domination? - 4/9/2013 8:59:18 AM

iamalive888

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quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir

quote:

Yet again, how do you know these people aren't underage minors using friends pictures to make money off of you?

You don't, but I'm not in the habit of saving people from their own stupidity. I'm not Captain Save-a-Ho.

It's not stupidity, it's addiction. Drug addicts and alcoholics aren't stupid, they are just addicted. Their actions may be stupid, but they themselves are not idiots. When you are in that addiction, you don't realize how harmful your actions are.

For a site that says don't send money, but then allow profiles that explain exactly what to give them and how, it's counterproductive. Saying don't do it, but here are people that are doing it.

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RE: Financial Domination? - 4/9/2013 9:07:39 AM

thezeppo

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This topic does get old really fast doesn't it? For what its worth, I agree that there are a lot of people who who aren't particularly interested in being a Dom/Domme, they are far more interested in money. When I see a profile that I think doesn't match what I'm looking for, do you know what I do? I move on. Sometimes I think 'that's a very pretty girl' first and then move on. It takes a few seconds each time, and I have to do it a lot, but its really not that hard.

Sorry, but the addiction thing doesn't work as a metaphor. If I thought my friend had an addiction to alcohol I would do whatever I could to get him to stop being addicted to alcohol. What I wouldn't then do is try to remove all of the alcohol from the world in case someone else got addicted. All this moralising has the same basic undertone; 'I'm not getting what I want from this site and so I want to change the site'. Start your own site and apply your techniques to get rid of people just out to make a quick buck. If it works I will join it.

Its not a situation unique to BDSM, or to dating sites. Its the way of the world. Faith healers fleece people, psychics fleece people, my car insurance have just charged me £30 as an admin fee and threatened to cancel a policy I have already paid in full, just because I changed car. The moralising on findom is so transparently self-serving, lets all just get on with our lives shall we?

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