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help please, what do i do ? - 4/10/2013 4:16:33 PM

shebsheb7adretek

Posts: 38
Joined: 3/3/2013
From: cairo, egypt
Status: offline

greetings All :)

this is my 1st post here so please bear with me,

i know You've been asked this question lots n lots of times (and i'm open to receive links if it really will answer my question) but i'll just state it exactly the way i see it in order to be fully understood, so here goes...

i notice the fact that male subs is outnumbering Femdoms big time, and that it isn't in our favor by any means, so i'm to stand out from the crowd if i'm to be noticed, right ?

now, with that being said, i see that the rs between the Femdom and the male sub is just like the one between sun and earth ! and like any rs between a star and a planet, the later orbits the former basically in seek of light, and heat, i.e. (enlightenment and warmth), now, the former is to determine the distance between the two or else the later will be blinded, AND burnt ! i.e. the Femdom -as the leader of the rs- will state what She expects from the rs and the slave is to see if he's able to fulfill what She seeks. now, is it possible for me to state all the possible possibilities tha... <---= wth ?!? too many "possibles" vavy !!! anyway, lemme finish ! is it possible for me to state all the possible possibilities that i can go through to please my Lady ?

besides, doesn't they say: "don't write each and every thing about you in your cv coz that will leave you with nothing to talk about in the interview" ?
i mean, is it right to say everything about me in my profile ? what will that leave for my "Owner to be" to feel that She owns me while everyone knows everything about me already ? what wud be so special about me that'll make me Hers only ?

my question is, in case You didn't get it yet, what exactly do i say about my self in my profile ? what do You wanna know about me ? i hear, A LOT, that You can't care less about what i like or dislike as long as i can fit Your criteria, but on the other hand, if i have a generic profile i will not get any answers right ? so, what do i do ?!?

please note that i'm not asking about what You seek in a slave, my question is what do You seek in a profile of a slave, i.e. its not: do You prefer me single or married, experienced or virgin . . . etc., its: do You care to know about my marital status, level of experience . . . etc. or not !
what would Your ideal profile (not ideal slave) look like ?

i know its very less likely to get this read by any egyptian -or even any arab- Femdom, let alone getting an answer from One, but i think though You are unique -and its one of the things that i do worship about You- that You have things in common right ? i mean, a Femdom is a Femdom still !

please note that while i post this in the "ask a Mistress" section as You are the Ones that i seek the advice and the guidance of, any thoughtful reply wud be appreciated no matter what your gender, role, or even sexual orientation is.

thank You a lot for Your time reading this, please be well All :)

shebsheb

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RE: help please, what do i do ? - 4/10/2013 10:15:30 PM

MistressDarkArt

Posts: 5178
Status: offline

Hello again Sheb!

Please have a good long look at the Ask A Mistress FAQ. There is excellent advice for crafting a profile that many female dominants will find appealing. There is also a great section on what to say when contacting a dominant woman.

IN GENERAL, keep your letter medium-length, respectful, engaging, and don't lead with kink. Approach a dominant woman as you would a vanilla person. You did a fine job in your Introduction post...let your personality shine through as you did there. Find something non-kink related in her profile to start a conversation with. An example might be: "I read in your profile you like movies and wondered if you've seen XYZ movie yet? I'd be really interested what you thought about (some actor) cast in the lead; I kept seeing (some other actor) as the main character." Or: "I noticed you have fine dining as one of your 'lives for'. What are your favorite dishes? It would be fun to make that for you some day!" Those are kind of lame examples but it's late and the best my head can do this time of evening. I think you get the general idea.

If you'd like some constructive criticism on a contact note, many of us here would be happy to help. Feel free to post an example, or if you'd prefer you can CMail to my inbox for an opinion. Best of luck to you!

< Message edited by MistressDarkArt -- 4/10/2013 10:18:06 PM >

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RE: help please, what do i do ? - 4/12/2013 9:11:00 PM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

Hi sheb,

I really liked your astronomy analogy, so that in itself shows your personality and that you are a bit out of the ordinary in expressing yourself that way. As Dark Art said, there is a lot of advice here re profiles. Don't put every little thing in but put in enough about both bdsm and vanilla sides of your personality to show who you are. For example, if I see someone who likes science that will get My interest, whereas if someone says they hate it, I know that won't be a possible avenue of conversation! And when writing to approach a Mistress, keep the bdsm part low key particularly in terms of what you like and dislike. Totally agree that it is wise to refer to Her profile in a way that shows you have REALLY read it, and if you can, ask Her a polite question. That gives Her something to reply to, making it more likely that She will reply.

DO: Make sure your English is as good as possible - type it in Word or similar so you can use the grammar and spell checker. I appreciate that English may not be your first language and will cut someone a bit of slack if they let Me know that. AVOID text speak and abbreviations!

DO NOT: Send naked pictures, promise to be Hers for life, or talk dirty! The vast majority of Dommes, as seen in many threads here, hate this! If and when She wants to see your sexual equipment or your naked ass or whatever, She will ask for it. She will think you are totally stupid and will be anyone's when She is looking for a special person who wants only to serve HER. You need to KNOW Her (and She needs to know you!) before that sort of promise can be made with any sincerity. And lastly, you wouldn't walk up to a woman on the street and talk dirty (well I hope you wouldn't!). Not saying these things were in your mind, just that these are VERY common mistakes made by a lot of your competitors ... NOT making them is how you can get ahead!

Good luck,
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

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RE: help please, what do i do ? - 4/12/2013 10:09:58 PM

MistressDarkArt

Posts: 5178
Status: offline

Sheb, I neglected to answer one of your questions about marital status. Personally, I will only accept single/unattached partners...I'm unmarried and expect the same. There are a few dommes who will accept married subs but the general consensus is they'll want proof your wife/partner is on board. There is a code of ethics involved here. They'll probably want to meet her in person to discuss what is acceptable and not in their dealings with you.

To address the virginity question: I'm more concerned that the person I invest time and affection with will return the same, not whether he's dipped his wick before. Each woman is so individual in her needs and preferences that even if you'd had prior experience, you would still need her guidance to learn what pleases her.

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RE: help please, what do i do ? - 4/12/2013 10:56:22 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
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shebsheb7adretek darling! Get a grip, take a deep breath, and slow down.
*The secret is, we are all simply women* The rest is chemistry, compatibility, and to some degree, negotiable. If you enjoy order, and obedience, you are miles ahead of the majority of people who call themselves submissive men.

quote:

i hear, A LOT, that You can't care less about what i like or dislike as long as i can fit Your criteria

That's a crock! Of course we care what you like/dislike, and you should be careful to find someone to whom you CAN submit, because your interests are similar.

quote:

please note that i'm not asking about what You seek in a slave, my question is what do You seek in a profile of a slave, i.e. its not: do You prefer me single or married, experienced or virgin . . . etc., its: do You care to know about my marital status, level of experience . . . etc. or not !
what would Your ideal profile (not ideal slave) look like ?

I don't generally like very lengthy profiles, so a few paragraphs should do; longer than that, you may lose her attention and interest. Most people seeking a realtionship, want to know if you are already in one, so yes mention whether you are married. If you are a virgin, I wouldn't mention anything about experience, as you can always be trained, with the right disposition on your part. As for looks, take a few clean cut photos, and minimal fetish. When a domina wants to see the rest of you, she will I am sure, ask. M

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""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

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