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knowing your a slave - 4/11/2013 1:02:04 AM

splinter13

Posts: 3
Joined: 4/8/2013
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ive been wanting to be a slave for a long time to be owned as they say
ive done things to myself on my own and i imagion a misstress or a master telling me what to do
ive force my self to punish my self and hurt my self for pleasure
i just cant seem to find someone or if i do ive gotten cold feet in the past mainly cause they want to meet at there house straight away without getting to know me first

am i doing this wrong or should i just go with the flow

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RE: knowing your a slave - 4/11/2013 1:48:15 AM

thezeppo

Posts: 441
Joined: 11/15/2012
Status: offline

I think if you know, you know. To me submission feels like the way in which I express myself, how I show my affection for someone. Granted it doesn't always work out lol, but it doesn't mean you should stop trying.

The stuff about receiving pain for pleasure is your kink, it doesn't necessarily speak to whether you are submissive or not. If that is all you want then it might be that you are kinky rather than submissive, and to be honest I think that might be a little easier to find. Just speculation on my part though, finding the right person for you is never easy no matter who you are.

I think you are sensible to not go to someones house straight away, particularly if you met them online. Maybe suggest that you meet at a cafe or something instead?

(in reply to splinter13)

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RE: knowing your a slave - 4/11/2013 1:53:18 AM

thezeppo

Posts: 441
Joined: 11/15/2012
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I think your profile is quite guarded as well, it suggests that someone is going to have to work to earn your trust. I can see why you are saying that, but maybe you should focus on who you are rather than what you will do or won't do?

(in reply to thezeppo)

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RE: knowing your a slave - 4/11/2013 3:48:52 AM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
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As the very clever zeppo has pointed out, there aren't many people that would agree to meet a stranger at their house,
instead of a public location, slave or not. If "going with the flow" means throwing caution to the wind, I'd advise against it.

As for not finding the Master/Mistress of your dreams in the 3 days since you've been a member here, please try a little
more patience. Ok, a LOT more patience. There are hundreds of men on this site who will cook and clean and perform all
sorts of sexual escapades, and in reading your profile, as well as what you've written here, it seems as though you are
applying for a job as opposed to being a man that is interested in forming a relationship with someone.
Masters and Mistresses aren't lined up on the other side sifting through profiles in search of a specific set of skills.
If you want a relationship, be relatable.

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When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to thezeppo)

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RE: knowing your a slave - 4/11/2013 6:56:51 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: splinter13

ive been wanting to be a slave for a long time to be owned as they say
ive done things to myself on my own and i imagion a misstress or a master telling me what to do
ive force my self to punish my self and hurt my self for pleasure
i just cant seem to find someone or if i do ive gotten cold feet in the past mainly cause they want to meet at there house straight away without getting to know me first

am i doing this wrong or should i just go with the flow

I find it funny that you equate being a slave with having things done to you and being punished.

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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to splinter13)

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RE: knowing your a slave - 4/11/2013 8:56:43 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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I don't know where you are, but have you joined your local kink community and volunteered to help? That, more than anything, will help you meet others and allow you to know them as people without the 'beat me now' vibe you're giving off. Which is very offputting.

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RE: knowing your a slave - 4/11/2013 9:29:56 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
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I am Master's slave. We've been together for 3 years, but I've only been his slave for a year.

I absolutely refused to rush into anything that might backfire and leave me physically or emotionally damaged. I got to know the man before I knew the Master.

And to be honest, being a slave isn't all kinky fun and punishment. Mostly it's normal daily routine. Working, laundry, cooking, school, all that good stuff. The difference is, he gets to make the final decisions.

Many read a handful of kinky books and watch bdsm porn and think that's what slavery is. Or serve an online Master/Mistress and assume real-life is going to be like that, but even more intense.

It really, really isn't. It's about a relationship between two people with a very unequal power structure. It might be us watching a movie together and him deciding he wants a coffee. I don't get the choice, even if the movie is at a good part - I go make the coffee. He might decide at 2am that he wants to wear a particular shirt for work in the morning and it's in the wash, so I go wash and iron it.

I might get up with a pounding headache and he might send me back to bed. Or he might tell me to take some painkillers and go do the supermarket shopping.

OP, I suggest you really think about what you consider slavery to be, and how you'd like it to fit into your normal, everyday life. Then maybe see if you can find someone whose ideas mesh with yours. It took me 8 years to find Master - patience and introspection are your friends.

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(in reply to splinter13)

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RE: knowing you're a slave - 4/11/2013 10:57:53 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Around here, it's a lot more about doing the laundry, having meals ready on time than it is kinky fun and games. Because people insist on eating at regular intervals and wearing clean clothes.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to myotherself)

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RE: knowing you're a slave - 4/11/2013 12:49:37 PM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

the life of a 'real' slave is so very different to porn...