Do you need ??????????/

Do you need ??????????/ (Full Version)

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suburbanslave -> Do you need ??????????/ (4/11/2013 3:46:15 AM)
Being fascinated by slavery, and hoping one day to experience it in some form or another I have a question. ''Is it necessary to be a masochist to be someones slave and does being a slave always involve severe punishment?

poise -> RE: Do you need ??????????/ (4/11/2013 3:53:08 AM)
I would first like to clarify for you that being a masochist has nothing to do with punishment. And no, being one is not a requirement for a successful D/s relationship.

DarkSteven -> RE: Do you need ??????????/ (4/11/2013 4:36:56 AM)
Is it necessary to be a masochist to be someones slave? Not at all. Your question is, is it necessary to enjoy the slavery? The answer is no, you don't need to like it. However, you DO need to enjoy the fact that you're serving another and giving them what they wish. and does being a slave always involve severe punishment? It doesn't even need to involve gentle punishment. Slavery is serving. It's making someone else fulfilled. It's acceding to their control. If they feel you should be punished, so be it. If not, not. If pain is part of the relationship, so be it, whether you enjoy it or not. Edited to add: So, lemme ask you a question. You're fascinated by slavery - what's your understanding of it? What are your sources? Are they clips of Masters and Mistresses beating people?

JeffBC -> RE: Do you need ??????????/ (4/11/2013 8:40:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: suburbanslave Being fascinated by slavery, and hoping one day to experience it in some form or another I have a question. ''Is it necessary to be a masochist to be someones slave and does being a slave always involve severe punishment? For the sake of BDSM discussions I consider Carol my slave. We do not have a punishment dynamic -- I just expect her to obey. For someone who's agreed to obey I don't think that's asking too much. She doesn't need to be a masochist because I'm not a sadist. HOWEVER... not everyone here agrees that Carol is my slave. There is no universal definition for that word. DarkSteven thinks it's about "serving". I think it's about control/obedience. Lots of other people think it's about some internal mental state. What that means is that it's up to you to figure out what you mean by "a slave" then find someone else who sees it the same way. You may or may not have an easier time finding non-sadistic masters in the vanilla world than the BDSM one. This ties into DarkSteven's last question. He's trying to get you to see what YOU mean by "slavery" because in the end it's going to come down to that.

DesFIP -> RE: Do you need ??????????/ (4/11/2013 8:45:06 AM)
Not all dominants are sadists. If you don't like pain, find someone who doesn't get off on giving it. We don't have a punishment dynamic. That's too much drama for us. We prefer to problem solve. Why did this happen (or not)? How can we fix it for next time? What kind of changes need to be made to allow for this to happen? The only constant I can see here is not the enjoyment of doing laundry but the willingness to do mind numbing loads of it. And having meals I can produce in an instant. Normal, boring stuff that everyone else deals with.

iamalive888 -> RE: Do you need ??????????/ (4/11/2013 9:12:29 AM)
Some beat, some don't. Not everyone is okay with pain. I know myself, I have a very low tolerance for pain so it's not pleasurable to be hit or smacked. But there are pain sluts out there that live for it. That's something that would be discussed upfront so limits are understood.

Pyramus -> RE: Do you need ??????????/ (4/11/2013 9:13:34 AM)
quote: Is it necessary to be a masochist to be someones slave? Is it necessary to be a hedonist to be someones slave?

myotherself -> RE: Do you need ??????????/ (4/11/2013 9:19:32 AM)
By our own personal definition, I am Master's slave. He is a sadist and I am a masochist. I deliberately sought out a sadistic dominant because I need to feed my masochism. Having said that, we also have a punishment dynamic. If I screw up without good reason, I get punished. It rarely happens though - maybe twice in the last 3 years. The first time the punishment was physical and extremely unpleasant. The second time was worse - I wasn't allowed to drink any caffeinated drink or alcohol for a month. Punishment does not have to be a beating. A creative Dominant can make it far, far worse [:D]

Subano -> RE: Do you need ??????????/ (4/11/2013 10:11:26 AM)
All that is necessary is the willingness to serve.

Rattenkonig -> RE: Do you need ??????????/ (4/11/2013 10:34:15 AM)
No, not all D/s relationships involve severe painful punishments. It depends on what you discuss with your partner and what you're both into and agree upon.

myotherself -> RE: Do you need ??????????/ (4/11/2013 10:38:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Subano All that is necessary is the willingness to serve. I'd say this is the first step, not the journey. Many believe they are willing to serve, but find that after a while the willingness goes away and serving becomes a chore.

BitaTruble -> RE: Do you need ??????????/ (4/11/2013 10:42:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: suburbanslave ''Is it necessary to be a masochist to be someones slave Well, it certainly doesn't hurt (pun intended) but, no, it's not a requirement. quote: and does being a slave always involve severe punishment? Not when you behave. [8D]

DaddySatyr -> RE: Do you need ??????????/ (4/11/2013 10:56:01 AM)
I have said this here before and I'm sure I will say it, again (even after this time): Punishment doesn't necessarily mean "physical". I believe in "the punishment should fit the crime". Therefore, the only reason for me to inflict pain on my lady is because she's inflicted pain on me. Well, that doesn't happen because if she inflicts pain on me, we're done. She's gone. Some woud say (and I'm about to get slammed) that my way is even worse. When I asked a lady to have the dishes washed in time for dinner (which I was cooking) and the dishes weren't washed, I washed a plate and some silverware for me and put her food in the dog dish. That's punishment too but I haven't caused pain. Peace and comfort, Michael

DesFIP -> RE: Do you need ??????????/ (4/11/2013 11:00:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Subano All that is necessary is the willingness to serve. Or not. Not all of us are interested in being served. Some people are wired for obedience. Others for emotional transparency. I have zero interest in serving. He doesn't much care about it either.

ResidentSadist -> RE: Do you need ??????????/ (4/11/2013 12:39:38 PM)
Seeing several posts lately that say they aren't good slaves because they don't like pain, I am going to presume 50 Shades of Grey is even more fucked up than I heard it was. No, I haven't read it.

kalikshama -> RE: Do you need ??????????/ (4/11/2013 2:50:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr I have said this here before and I'm sure I will say it, again (even after this time): Punishment doesn't necessarily mean "physical". I believe in "the punishment should fit the crime". Therefore, the only reason for me to inflict pain on my lady is because she's inflicted pain on me. Well, that doesn't happen because if she inflicts pain on me, we're done. She's gone. Some woud say (and I'm about to get slammed) that my way is even worse. When I asked a lady to have the dishes washed in time for dinner (which I was cooking) and the dishes weren't washed, I washed a plate and some silverware for me and put her food in the dog dish. That's punishment too but I haven't caused pain. Peace and comfort, Michael I'm going to assume that the fact that there were consequences for disobedience was understood and she had no good reason for not obeying and not slam you [:)]

JeffBC -> RE: Do you need ??????????/ (4/11/2013 2:51:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist Seeing several posts lately that say they aren't good slaves because they don't like pain, I am going to presume 50 Shades of Grey is even more fucked up than I heard it was. No, I haven't read it. I've never read 50 shades but I certainly understand the OP's question. It is specifically the absence of the SM bit that makes me agree with LadyPact's thinking... Carol and I are D/s but not BDSM.

TieMeInKnottss -> RE: Do you need ??????????/ (4/11/2013 3:08:40 PM)
Haha!!! The worst punishment I EVER received was NOT being able to talk! I would have probably preferred some nice physical...get it over with now...physical pain and I AM NOT a masochist ..... Still think of that horrible, horrible day every time I hear the word! And the Dom/Master I was involved with was very experienced...which was probably he was able to pick out the most torturous thing possible for me as opposed to what he saw in a porno, read in a book or thought would be fun for him!

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Do you need ??????????/ (4/11/2013 8:10:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist Seeing several posts lately that say they aren't good slaves because they don't like pain, I am going to presume 50 Shades of Grey is even more fucked up than I heard it was. No, I haven't read it. Yeah, that book/series sounds like it reeks of desperation. suburbanslave, you absolutely do NOT have to be a masochist, in order to be a slave. You should be very careful when seeking a relationship/doing your bidding, to try and avoid those dominants who are sadists. You may very well be subject to punishment in your relationship, if you fall short on expected behaviors/assigned tasks, but even than, it doesn't have to be whipping you unsconcious. Once a dominant gets to know you, he/she will hopefully learn what you dislike, or outright cannot stand, for his/her use as needed. M

SeekingTrinity -> RE: Do you need ??????????/ (4/11/2013 8:32:43 PM)
~FRing it~ No, OP...you honestly don't have to be a masochist to be able to be a slave. You just need to find a dominant who isn't a sadist. Don't try to live up to an idealized concept of what a "slave" should/shouldn't be. Just figure out who you are and what you're about...and then look for a dominant partner who shares your view on what M/s or D/s or BDSM means to you both. Good luck in your search

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