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njlauren -> RE: Confusing question - submissive fighting the urge to submit? (4/15/2013 7:37:15 PM)
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I think like everything in human emotions, there is a wide range. People like Jeff's Carol exist, in a wolf pack they would be the submissive followers, who often are quite important to keep the pack going strong (a pack full of potential alphas is a disaster area). Submissives range, and it is hard to tell where submission begins and ends. In my relationship, I am a submissive, yet I am no doormat, and my dominant loves the fact that I am a challenge to her, because my submission means a lot. In the outside world, I am not an alpha type (I was going to sale male, but given my 'interesting' gender background, hard to say, make it a "?"), but I also am not submissive, in the sense that in the work world or life I am not afraid to lead, I do, but I don't do it the alpha style, I tend to lead by example, and I also tend to give a lot of credence to the wishes and feelings of those who work for me..but I am no doormat, either, and am not afraid to fight when I need to, to protect my people (friend of mine claims I am an alpha female and a beta male, whatever the hell that means *lol*....). In my case, it plays out in interesting ways, but I don't submit easily, and generally it is to authority I respect, not in general.
I knew a woman, whom I absolutely adored and idolized, who was this gorgeous, classy woman, who had her own business, was very successful and hard driving, but also was a lifestyle sub/slave to a really cool master (I never asked them how they labelled it:). She could negotiate million dollar contracts with clients and suppliers, be tough as nails, yet totally submit to her M and dress the way he wanted her to, and basically do anything he asked of her, she was quite submissive...but not to everyone else, either *shrug*.
I think for some it is in their own personal relationships (my lady has told me if I am submissive to outside people and give in without reason, she would kick my ass, and she would, literally, with some nasty, heavy boots she has, though she also doesn't want me being an asshole to others, either), but others are as Jeff described "functioning doormats", able to navigate and protect themselves but not feeling totally comfortable doing that (my take on it, the words are mine, and if I am off, I own them:). To some people it is whom they are 24/7 with everyone, to others it is who they are with the people that matter in their lives, in context, and with others, maybe, maybe not.
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