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[Poll]

How much kink?


Love me. Tell me how to love you. I'm happy.
  7% (5)
Some creativity is cool but no need for whips & chains
  12% (8)
I need some light bondage/sadism
  38% (24)
Hurt me baby!
  30% (19)
We'll need tarps to control blood spatter
  9% (6)
What? No Ambulance?
  1% (1)


Total Votes : 63
(last vote on : 5/17/2013 11:49:27 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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RE: How much kink? - 4/12/2013 11:07:31 PM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline
quote:

Of course I can't stop anyone from responding but ideally I'd get poll responses from female subs (I suspect the demographics really do differ here).

He's right, you know.

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: How much kink? - 4/12/2013 11:12:00 PM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		I'm not sure how to answer. I don't think I need kinky sex. I say 'think' because I've been married since I was barely an adult and I don't really have anything to compare to - maybe I would ache for it if it wasn't an option.

But I like it. And to me, sexual compatibility is less about liking the same set of activities, and more about being invested in the other person's enjoyment and pleasure. So if I liked it, and he wasn't willing to try things out with me, it might become an issue. Just like not having an orgasm for a week isn't a big deal, but him not giving a damn whether I did or learning what works for me would be a huge deal.

That said, I don't think I would be hard to please. I don't really have any specific acts I'm into - I just get off on submitting. So I could submit to cosmo-special whipped cream bikinis just like I submit to a caning, and still be excited so long as I felt like I was doing it for him. I'm fairly sure I could service-top, but I'd struggle to 'demand' things from him. So I suppose as long as I wasn't with a guy who felt the same as me, we'd make it work.


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Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: How much kink? - 4/13/2013 12:05:46 AM   
Thaz


Posts: 617
Joined: 4/28/2012
Status: offline 		Hmmm.

I put down quite a high level. However I'm really into giving pleasure. Now if that happens to involve knives then thats fine. If its a feather or cuddles on the sofa thats good too. But some level of 'play' would be needed although it might not be pain. I'm not a massive sadist....although this time last year I would have said 'I'm not a sadist' and it turns out that sorta isnt true any more.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: How much kink? - 4/13/2013 12:25:11 AM   
zpenguin


Posts: 123
Joined: 1/14/2013
Status: offline 		not much into extreme pain, blood, needles, cutting, just some good paddling, whipping, spanking, choking, bondage etc. for me

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: How much kink? - 4/13/2013 1:52:35 AM   
RaspberryLemon


Posts: 422
Joined: 7/18/2011
Status: offline 		I answered with the first option in the poll.

For me, it is the mental/emotional aspect of dominance/submission in my sexuality that's important. There doesn't need to be anything kinky or crazy, I just want to feel the intimacy of being owned and submitting to his needs and desires. A bit of being handled aggressively/assertively is enough to satisfy that need.

We aren't into much "kinky sex." I'm no masochist, he's no sadist, and as far as our sex life is concerned, a lot of kink-folk would probably find it boring. Collar/leash is used in the bedroom often. We do a little bit of bondage/restraint sometimes. Occasionally there's some dress-up or silly role play. And bits of odds and ends of different stuff, but all very mild.

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: How much kink? - 4/13/2013 5:02:00 AM   
muhly22222


Posts: 463
Joined: 3/25/2010
Status: offline 		I chose the light bondage/pain option.

I could go without pain play entirely if the other person was an awesome person, but not interested in pain. But bondage...if somebody doesn't like being tied up, she won't be happy with me. Period. It's the one kink I absolutely insist on, and it's the one I'd be engaging in most often, by far.

_____________________________

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-Woodrow Wilson

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: How much kink? - 4/13/2013 8:33:54 AM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline 		I had to think about this one for a bit before chiming in. I make no bones about being a casual player at this point, but in the past, I had some partners who were into serious pain infliction for their own reasons. Personally, I don't like administering pain on the scale it had been requested in the past. I'm large and physically intimidating, and I tend to go more for the psychological side of the scale. Not to say a few choice taps or slaps aren't on the menu would be wrong, either, but not as a major component of the act.
Receiving? Only on the incoming side once. I was young, she had issues, and as a result I have permanent scars in hard-to-explain areas. That experience is partly why I don't like to administer much in the way of impact play. I didn't use the poll because where I feel I am is a gray area, as best as I can define it. Do you also mean things like doing it in public places, inappropriate times/places, and using toys/other artifacts as elements?

(in reply to muhly22222)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: How much kink? - 4/13/2013 4:10:13 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		~fast reply~

Well I must say I'm darned glad I ran this poll. Honestly, I expected the curve to be more skewed towards the high end and also to be more sharply compressed towards it's average. Maybe I need to stop saying "If Carol ever dies I'll be shopping in vanilla-land". Although I probably would've done both anyway. I always knew there were at least some subs here who were compatible with me and I've always suspected that "sexual compatibility" would be the easy part.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: How much kink? - 4/13/2013 5:13:30 PM   
Ullrmann


Posts: 35
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

My option wasn't available so I selected the 4th which applies to my current relationship.

My option would have been: "it depends on the guy".



It works out well I picked the same option.

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: How much kink? - 4/13/2013 7:45:33 PM   
samdarella


Posts: 222
Joined: 8/23/2010
Status: offline 		I'm a sexual masochist. I need pain. I need sex. Would I give them up if Master couldn't take care of these needs. I would try my damnedest and it would probably work for awhile. But knowing Master, if there was a period of time where He couldn't take care of me he would request someone He trusted to do so. That being said, there is a lot more to our relationship than just BDSM and kinky sex. I have never felt more loved, more needed or wanted. And I strive every day to make sure Master feels the same. We have fun together. We laugh, we play. We do the day to day mundane things that are part of real life. But through it all He is Master. He can make me cry much harder with a few words than anyone ever could beating me.

What was the question again? Got lost in my kinky thoughts. Oh yeah, I chose the tarps answer. Love needles and knives and blood play. But when we add a third one day she won't have to be into that.

_____________________________

Take me to the edge.

Pain is....

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: How much kink? - 4/13/2013 7:53:33 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		For me personally, I just need a guy who is a dominant personality and who "fits" me like a puzzle piece. I'm not talking about bdsm or kink, but just sex in general. As long as he knows what's he's doing and knows which parts to hit with his cock or fingers then I'm more than satisfied. I don't need the kink or fetish or pain. I don't need him to know how to tie me up or how to hit me with a cane or learn new and creative ways in bed. I can be more than happy with missionary sex with a man that I love and who holds power over me.

ETA: Ok, looking at the list....the first one. Tell me you love me.



< Message edited by littlewonder -- 4/13/2013 7:54:44 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: How much kink? - 4/13/2013 9:13:26 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ullrmann
It works out well I picked the same option.

LOL - you should post more. I like your sense of humor.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Ullrmann)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: How much kink? - 4/13/2013 10:16:48 PM   
Ullrmann


Posts: 35
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ullrmann
It works out well I picked the same option.

LOL - you should post more. I like your sense of humor.



No thank you.

I always receive encouragement to post more when I'm being vapid. However, the collarchat clique comes out fully armed with their cognitive dissonance and ad homonym attacks as soon I attempt anything vaguely mentally stimulating. It's pretty clear my input is not welcome here.

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: How much kink? - 4/14/2013 9:30:58 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		How about heavy bondage and very light pain. Light nipple clamps are about my limit.

But we're getting older, skin is less elastic, joints are achy. Play will get less and less with the years and that's fine. The basis of this relationship is love.

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Cynical and proud of it!


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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: How much kink? - 4/14/2013 10:58:07 PM   
ForeverGaia


Posts: 43
Joined: 11/5/2011
Status: offline 		I voted 4 but I'm in the 4-5 category. Good thread Jeff.

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: How much kink? - 4/15/2013 4:09:16 AM   
HisPet21


Posts: 395
Status: offline
quote:

There is a fine line between what we fantasize about (for me, my fantasies are far more violent than I would like in real life) and what you actually do.


Oh, god. So true!

The plain fact is that I don't really know my likes/dislikes yet. My boyfriend and I met in "Vanilla Land" (Lol, Jeff. Sounds like an Ice Cream Parlor or an Amusement Park for White People), and we are both inexperienced. As a result, there isn't too much we can safely try out yet, so I have no idea what I will enjoy and possibly learn to need IRL & what I will want to keep in the realm of fantasy once I get to experiment more. I do know that I *need* to be with someone who likes creativity and kink in the bedroom and, more importantly, is willing to expand horizons and try new things. Open mindedness in the bedroom, since I am still stretching my "sex wings," is super important. But so far, I've found that I have a strong desire for bondage in the bedroom, but impact play even more. I'm really learning to enjoy pain and, especially, the fear of pain that goes along with it.

My guess is that I'm going to be a "Hurt Me!" kind of girl. Sometimes I wonder if the boyfriend will be willing to go as far as I'd like (Saw a pussy stapling video that made me go, "Must try that out! It looks like it sucks, but I am on board!"), but I will take what I can get and live without the rest. He is my Number 1 priority now, and I can survive without much kink if I need to. But who knows? He's loved everything we've tried so far!

(in reply to ForeverGaia)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: How much kink? - 4/15/2013 5:53:11 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		My answer was tarps . . . splashing, squirting and bleeding are OK but damage that requires an ambulance is outside my scope of appreciation. Seriously, if a surgical stapler won't fix it, I'm in troubled waters.

For samdarella and I, there is no big line between what we fantasize or desire and what we actually do. We have violence, blood sports, forced, contact or commanded trust with strangers, extended family and/or lovers . . . and few TOS things. It is very fulfilling for us to be together and rarely do we have unobtainable fantasies.

She is a bonafide slut and I have no morals so there are very few things that make us hot that we don't do. And if we don't, it is because it isn't worth the work or the risk. The desire for it wanes when you examine what it takes to do it and choose not to. But if we ever do get marooned on a deserted island with a boat load of catholic school girls, a priest, some nuns and a donkey, we know exactly what we want to do. :)

We both have pretty healthy libidos and have lead balanced emotional lives. We both have a history of successful relationships and friendly exs. We aren't so bland that our fantasies aren't hot, it's just that we don't have anti social or destructive fantasies spawned from some past emotional strife. The desires we do have, we can pretty much live them out as they don't involve harm to others. So there is no big boundary between our desires, fantasies and what we can and will do.

< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 4/15/2013 5:59:12 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: How much kink? - 4/15/2013 5:57:28 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
But if we ever do get marooned on a deserted island with a boat load of catholic school girls, a priest, some nuns and a donkey, we know exactly what we want to do. :)

I really don't see how this all fits together without at least 3 midgets and an economy sized jar of mayonnaise.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: How much kink? - 4/15/2013 12:33:51 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
But if we ever do get marooned on a deserted island with a boat load of catholic school girls, a priest, some nuns and a donkey, we know exactly what we want to do. :)

I really don't see how this all fits together without at least 3 midgets and an economy sized jar of mayonnaise.


It's cause you vanilla's have no imagination Jeff.

To me it's perfectly clear.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: How much kink? - 4/15/2013 1:02:16 PM   
theshytype


Posts: 1600
Status: offline 		I think Miracle Whip would be more appropriate to use.

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Profile   Post #: 40
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