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njlauren -> RE: Asking the Pros....NOT Bashing, Genuinely Curious (4/23/2013 11:32:29 AM)
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I am not a pro nor a domme, but I played in that space for many years, and who the dommes are and why they do it vary.
There are really good dommes out there who aren't lifestyle, to whom this is role playing and so forth, who don't do it in their private life (some have told me playing with clients satisfied their needs, others said it was just acting).
There are lifestyle dommes who have real life subs and slaves, but also work professionally at it. How they handle it seems to vary, some of them have decided walls with that, others don't see it as all that much different, depends on them.
Independent dommes either have play space in their apartment or may rent it from a pro house. In NYC there is a large mix, those who work independently then a lot who work for the houses. I haven't played professionally in many years, but last I checked, there were a lot less houses than there were back in the early to mid 90's; don't know if they have gone independent , or if simply wasn't that much demand.
There are also 'fake' dommes out there, after medusa came out with her 'sex' album there were a lot of 20 somethings getting into the business who did so because they heard you could make money and medusa made it 'cool' *gag*.....many of them devolved into the hooker with a whip kind of thing IME, because they didn't have the tools.
The dommes I worked with regularly were lifestyle and I think it showed. Maybe because I was looking for more submission then being topped, but for me the lifestyle dommes gave me something more, several of them became friends and helped mentor myself when it became lifestyle.
One thing they will all tell you, you have to have a thick skin and also expect a lot of costs. Sadly, a lot of the clients, at least in NYC, were these upper class executive types, who came to be dominated, and they didn't necessarily check the alpha male at the door, they often treated the dommes like crap, to be honest (ironic, I know). The top ones, who had a loyal clientele, could tell them where to go, but most couldn't afford to be that picky, not at 250 an hour or so.....lot of them were really whiny, they would say they wanted to enact a rape scene, then bitch about the size of the dildo, or if they wanted to be dressed up like a slut and used like one, they would complain about being treated like one.....:).
For me, it is like in any profession, the good ones are a joy, some are okay, and there are also a lot that leave a lot to be desired...but that is true of all fields I think:)
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