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New to the scene, trying to pinpoint what I need. - 4/21/2013 6:03:00 PM   
Determinist


Posts: 38
Joined: 4/20/2013
Status: offline 		Hello all, nice to be here. I've been lurking for a few days and I like the nature of this forum.

BDSM has only been a sexual fetish for me, but I'm at the point where I'd like to make it a prominent element in a relationship. There's a lot of terminology and variants on these relationships that I'm still in the learning stage about. Labels can be prone to stereotype, I know, but they do help when trying to communicate an overall need/want to someone. If I had to speak generally, I'd say I was looking for a normal LTR with a strong BDSM theme. It makes me happy to make others happy, and I appreciate a strong male personality, so bringing rules/D-s play into it outside of intimacy would fit nicely, I think. However 'slave' scenarios wouldn't work well because I do enjoy my independence, making my own decisions, and being controlled 24/7 would, I think, be wearing and irritating. If I've made any assumptions or errors about those scenarios, and unknowingly insulted someone, forgive me. Anyways. To summarize: Hello, and does anyone have a link to a site or blog or book that may help me define what I'm seeking?

Much appreciated. Have a good day, lovely people!
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: New to the scene, trying to pinpoint what I need. - 4/21/2013 6:17:59 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Welcome to the forums. It's always nice to read such a lovely introduction.

We have a wonderful book list here. ResidentSadist gets the credit for creating it. Here is the link to that thread. http://www.collarchat.com/m_1726118/tm.htm

I hope you'll enjoy some of the selections there and will enjoy your time here as well.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Determinist)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: New to the scene, trying to pinpoint what I need. - 4/21/2013 6:19:15 PM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline 		Hello and welcome. You have come to the right side to learn about what you said in your post. It was well thought-out and sincere. I hope you find what you're looking for, have a nice day yourself.

(in reply to Determinist)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: New to the scene, trying to pinpoint what I need. - 4/21/2013 6:38:27 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Welcome to CM.



_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Determinist)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: New to the scene, trying to pinpoint what I need. - 4/21/2013 7:26:27 PM   
DomMeinCT


Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Lovely intro - welcome!

Instead of trying to decide upon the right labels, buzzwords, and acronyms for what you seek, why not use the good old fashioned, non-Reader's Digest long version you used in your first post?

There are no rules that say you need to have to boil down your desires into 20 words or fewer. :)

And if anyone tells you you're doing it wrong (describing what you want and need) too bad for them.

_____________________________

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
~ Carl Jung

(in reply to Determinist)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: New to the scene, trying to pinpoint what I need. - 4/21/2013 11:59:34 PM   
kookycreature


Posts: 67
Joined: 4/18/2013
From: UK
Status: offline 		Welcome to the forums :)

_____________________________

"Though I am slave," she said, " yet for the first time in my life I am free" - Nomads of Gor, pg 303

(in reply to Determinist)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: New to the scene, trying to pinpoint what I need. - 4/22/2013 2:48:25 AM   
Determinist


Posts: 38
Joined: 4/20/2013
Status: offline 		Thanks for the welcomes and the advice. I updated my profile to be more in-depth, so if anyone is completely, mind-numbingly bored, before watching the fifth re-run of Dancing With The Stars (it won't end well anyways) they might have a peek and let me know what they think? Ta.

(in reply to kookycreature)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: New to the scene, trying to pinpoint what I need. - 4/22/2013 3:03:46 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		That's one lovely profile.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Determinist)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: New to the scene, trying to pinpoint what I need. - 4/22/2013 3:28:49 AM   
Determinist


Posts: 38
Joined: 4/20/2013
Status: offline 		Thank you! Was worried it might be too wordy.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: New to the scene, trying to pinpoint what I need. - 4/22/2013 5:36:48 AM   
Rasciallymisty


Posts: 5749
Joined: 4/16/2012
Status: offline 		Hi D, Welcome to Collarme and the forums. Very nicely writen intro and profile. I am sure you will find that in which you seek. Happy reading.

(in reply to Determinist)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: New to the scene, trying to pinpoint what I need. - 4/22/2013 6:09:44 AM   
OohAahMrs


Posts: 7723
Joined: 7/14/2010
Status: offline 		Welcome det.

_____________________________

You may choc the choc.........Oh forget it......

(in reply to Determinist)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: New to the scene, trying to pinpoint what I need. - 4/22/2013 6:23:53 AM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline 		The first profile was good,this one is even better.

(in reply to OohAahMrs)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: New to the scene, trying to pinpoint what I need. - 4/22/2013 5:11:58 PM   
Determinist


Posts: 38
Joined: 4/20/2013
Status: offline 		Thanks everyone, appreciate the feedback.

(in reply to MasterCaneman)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: New to the scene, trying to pinpoint what I need. - 4/22/2013 9:18:59 PM   
Phormula


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/29/2012
Status: offline 		i think your spot on with what you desire.... let me add my two cents... anyone elses issue is exactly that, their issue... you done well. the pic is hiding eyes like your trying to come out. is all perfect. just my opinion.

(in reply to Determinist)
Profile   Post #: 14
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