Brighten up monday............. (Full Version)

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Hillwilliam -> Brighten up monday............. (4/22/2013 12:00:02 PM)

With some corny jokes


A Priest, a Rabbi and a Minister walk into a bar.

The Bartender says "is this a joke?"

BADUM PISHHHHHHHHHHHHH




kookycreature -> RE: Brighten up monday............. (4/22/2013 12:27:26 PM)

What's got hazelnut in every bite?


Squirrel shit.




Kaliko -> RE: Brighten up monday............. (4/22/2013 1:33:41 PM)

Ooh, I can never resist a request for a corny joke!

A man walks into a bar and asks "Do you have any helicopter-flavored potato chips?" The bartender shakes his head. "No, we only have plain."





Lucifyre -> RE: Brighten up monday............. (4/22/2013 4:02:02 PM)

A blonde walks into a bar....

You'd think she'd have seen it ;)




ARIES83 -> RE: Brighten up monday............. (4/22/2013 5:27:29 PM)

Time flies, like an arrow~
...fruit flies like a banana.
[&:]




RemoteUser -> RE: Brighten up monday............. (4/22/2013 5:36:11 PM)

How do you get a one armed man hanging from a tree limb out of the tree?

Wave.




MasterG2kTR -> RE: Brighten up monday............. (4/22/2013 6:09:47 PM)

what's invisible and smells like carrots?


rabbit farts


[8|]




MasterG2kTR -> RE: Brighten up monday............. (4/22/2013 6:11:11 PM)

what do elephants use for tampons?

sheep

[8|]




MasterCaneman -> RE: Brighten up monday............. (4/22/2013 8:37:35 PM)

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?

...about halfway...
ba-dum-tisshhh




msj2u -> RE: Brighten up monday............. (4/22/2013 9:32:45 PM)

What kind of bees produce milk?

Boobies







I'm the One your mother didn't warn you about




Hillwilliam -> RE: Brighten up monday............. (4/23/2013 5:03:30 AM)

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants charging over the hill?

He said "Here come the elephants charging over the hill"



What did he say when they came charging over the hill wearing sunglasses?


Scroll




Down



For


The


Answer



You're


Almost


There



He didn't say anything. He didn't recognize them.




leonine -> RE: Brighten up monday............. (4/23/2013 6:13:41 AM)

How many hobbits does it take to change a lightbulb?

One to find the lightbulb by accident, one to go to change it, and one to change it for him when he decides not to at the last minute.




needlesandpins -> RE: Brighten up monday............. (4/23/2013 8:49:20 AM)

there are three mice trapped in a bottle, two females and one male. in the end they all get out.......

female one starts crying and says 'how will i get out? i've got mouselets to see to. if i don't get home they'll die!'

the male mouse takes a big sigh and says 'i can help you get out.'

female1 'how?'

male winks at her and whispers in her ear 'give me a bit of you-know-what and i'll tell you'

female1 thinks about this a moment and says 'ok'. she gives him a bit of you-know-what and he helps her get out.

seeing female1 run away home makes female2 start bawling too. 'what about me? i have mouselets starving at home too'

male 'don't worry, i can get you out'

female2 'how?'

male with wicked grin whispers in her ear 'give me a bit of you-know-what and i'll tell you'

female2 agrees, gives him a bit of you-know-what and he helps her out.

now male is left there all on his own...........so how does he get out?
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whispers in your ear....give me a bit of you-know-what and i'll tell you [;)]




FelineRanger -> RE: Brighten up monday............. (4/23/2013 8:58:14 AM)

A blonde and a brunette are talking. The brunette says, "I had such a wild night last night. I spent it with a Brazilian."
The blonde says, "Oh my god, you fucking slut! How many is a Brazilian?"




myotherself -> RE: Brighten up monday............. (4/23/2013 9:03:29 AM)

what's got one wheel and flies?




A wheelbarrow full of dog shitl




kookycreature -> RE: Brighten up monday............. (4/23/2013 9:03:29 AM)

I apologise ahead of this joke for ruining anyone's childhood programmes.

Bill & Ben the flowerpot men were in the garden.
Ben went "Flubba lubba lub a lub."
So Bill goes "If you loved me you'd swallow that."




Duskypearls -> RE: Brighten up monday............. (4/23/2013 1:29:53 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?

...about halfway...
ba-dum-tisshhh


And here I thought you were going to say Titlantic.




Lucylastic -> RE: Brighten up monday............. (4/23/2013 1:57:50 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: kookycreature

I apologise ahead of this joke for ruining anyone's childhood programmes.

Bill & Ben the flowerpot men were in the garden.
Ben went "Flubba lubba lub a lub."
So Bill goes "If you loved me you'd swallow that."


Lmfao




garyFLR -> RE: Brighten up monday............. (5/11/2013 10:30:39 PM)

What's the similarity between a mole & an eagle? They both live underground........apart from the eagle. I think it's funny, nobody else does, have a great Monday tomorrow, don't work too hard! Gary.




playfulotter -> RE: Brighten up monday............. (5/12/2013 5:24:59 PM)

I love corny jokes......


What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water?

It's gonna take a while to get me hard i just got laid by a really hot chick!




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