RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait?

RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? (Full Version)

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Aswad -> RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? (5/2/2013 9:11:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kdsub Its not the real length of posts but the number of posts it takes to get a coherent thought across. Getting a thought across depends on both the sender and the receivers; some receivers are less receptive than others. [:D] quote: Norwegians start 1000 years ago then explain in detail how we got to yesterday then use the next 5,000 words telling us how they have done it better in the past and how we should do it better tomorrow. No, that's just me, and I usually start around 800CE or so. [:D] Surprisingly accurate word count. IWYW, — Aswad.

UllrsIshtar -> RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? (5/2/2013 9:21:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aswad quote: ORIGINAL: Kana Listen to me here, tried it once when I was a kid (When he asked me to empty my pockets, I said something like, "She swore she was 18"), got the Holy crap kicked out of me (deservedly so, at that). [...] And if ya fight back, why, then they can shoot you too. What kind of shitty, fascist excuses for cops did you grow up around? IWYW, — Aswad. Welcome to America. 'tis the land of the free.

Hillwilliam -> RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? (5/2/2013 9:37:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aswad quote: ORIGINAL: Kana Listen to me here, tried it once when I was a kid (When he asked me to empty my pockets, I said something like, "She swore she was 18"), got the Holy crap kicked out of me (deservedly so, at that). [...] And if ya fight back, why, then they can shoot you too. What kind of shitty, fascist excuses for cops did you grow up around? IWYW, — Aswad. Most of them are awesome folks but the few misfits make up for it sometimes.

Aswad -> RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? (5/3/2013 5:25:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam Most of them are awesome folks but the few misfits make up for it sometimes. Define a few. Your misfit cops are worse than most of our misfit criminals, it sounds like. IWYW, — Aswad.

Hillwilliam -> RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? (5/3/2013 5:54:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aswad quote: ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam Most of them are awesome folks but the few misfits make up for it sometimes. Define a few. Your misfit cops are worse than most of our misfit criminals, it sounds like. IWYW, — Aswad. I'll define "A few" as 1-5% in rural areas where people tend to know each other and noone is anonymous so bad ones get weeded out to 10-20% in urban areas where misfits can blend in more easily and be protected by their peers and union. As for misfit cops being worse than most criminals, google "Miami River Cops" sometime if you want to cringe.

NuevaVida -> RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? (5/3/2013 8:24:16 AM)
Late to the party here but to comment on the topic of being condescending...whether people want to be or not, whatever their intentions might be, and whatever the reason behind it (insecurity, arrogance, justified, etc.), I personally find it a mostly unattractive trait. I don't like it - being on the receiving end or seeing it happen to someone else, but I realize everyone has their own personalities and their own paths to take. I personally don't like coming across as condescending, nor do I hold high opinions about condescension in others. I don't necessarily think more or less of that person (although sometimes I do, depending on context), it's just not a trait I'm a fan of. I think I'm pretty awesome, but that doesn't make me better than anyone. I have my own list of faults, but that doesn't make me less than anyone. Hey call me a kumbaya kinda kid but I just think everyone has their own awesome traits and their own unfavorable traits and that's what makes us all human. So when I see people (dominants, submissives, or anyone else in general) being condescending, I think it's unnecessary, and it tends to rub me wrong. Strong personalities, strong opinions, even being critical does not need to be condescending or patronizing. I don't equate those traits.

Aswad -> RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? (5/3/2013 12:18:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam I'll define "A few" as 1-5% in rural areas where people tend to know each other and noone is anonymous so bad ones get weeded out to 10-20% in urban areas where misfits can blend in more easily and be protected by their peers and union. As for misfit cops being worse than most criminals, google "Miami River Cops" sometime if you want to cringe. Ugh. Why don't y'all get rid of the police altogether? Sounds like you'd be better off without. IWYW, — Aswad. P.S.: Is it just me, or is this thread an excellent case study in the introspection illusion?

Kana -> RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? (5/3/2013 1:18:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aswad quote: ORIGINAL: Kana Listen to me here, tried it once when I was a kid (When he asked me to empty my pockets, I said something like, "She swore she was 18"), got the Holy crap kicked out of me (deservedly so, at that). [...] And if ya fight back, why, then they can shoot you too. What kind of shitty, fascist excuses for cops did you grow up around? IWYW, — Aswad. They were pretty much standard issue. Cops round the old US of A don't really tend to like mouthy fucking kids too much, with cause. Their job is tough enough-they don't need some spoiled brat making it tougher. Frankly, while I didn't exactly enjoy the experience while it was occurring (Being on the wrong side of that particular kneel to groove on receiving pain), I'm kinda grateful for it as a long term life lesson. I'm a better person for it. Taught me some respect for authority that I had utterly lacked until then.

UllrsIshtar -> RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? (5/3/2013 1:22:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kana I'm a better person for it. Taught me some respect for authority that I had utterly lacked until then. How did it do that? From the way you tell it, the only thing it seems to have taught you is that people who can use force to extract surrender from you are dangerous, and you need to comply with them lest you suffer negative consequences. If that's what you call respect, your definition of that word differs vastly from mine.

Aswad -> RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? (5/3/2013 3:38:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar If that's what you call respect, your definition of that word differs vastly from mine. My thoughts exactly. Also, what kind of man puts on a uniform, goes out to "protect and serve", and does so by beating up kids and shooting them if they resist? Don't they check if candidates have basic human qualities before hiring? The whole point of a monopoly on violence in modern civilizations is to ensure that it is wielded correctly and in line with the law, as far as possible, by people that are willing to take on risk on behalf of others, people with discipline and character. IWYW, — Aswad.

kdsub -> RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? (5/3/2013 4:41:56 PM)
You are a good sport Aswad...thanks

theshytype -> RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? (5/3/2013 5:47:09 PM)
Not all of the police here are horrible people. Just like any field, there's bad seeds. I've known a few who wanted to become a cop because they truly wanted to protect and serve. I've also known a few to join because they 'get to legally drive real fast and tell people what to do' - I've lost contact with those ones but if I had to venture a guess, they turned out to be bad seeds. And so I stay on topic, I'm rarely condescending towards anyone. But I'm playfully sarcastic and consider the two completely different. Out of all the people I have been condescending towards, a few police officers were included. If I think someone's being an ass (and it takes me a lot to reach this point - I'm really rather patient) I don't care who you are.

HaveWhipWillTrav -> RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? (5/3/2013 8:33:57 PM)
I consider it a personality trait of a wannabee Dom.

littlewonder -> RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? (5/3/2013 8:53:44 PM)
Come here to Baltimore....that's all I'm gonna say on the cop issue.

Rattenkonig -> RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? (5/5/2013 1:46:52 AM)
I think a Dom shouldn't act like an entitle bratty child but have control over themselves and their actions. A part of that is have decent manners and being respectful of people. Submission is a sign of respect. You get respect by giving respect. Plus in or outside of kink you shouldn't act like a bag of dicks.

littlewonder -> RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? (5/5/2013 7:23:26 PM)
submission has nothing to do with respect. Submission is just submission. Respect is a human trait and should not be given to everyone. What you mean when you say everyone deserves respect, what one usually means is that everyone deserves common civility.

MasterCaneman -> RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? (5/5/2013 7:29:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rattenkonig I think a Dom shouldn't act like an entitle bratty child but have control over themselves and their actions. A part of that is have decent manners and being respectful of people. Submission is a sign of respect. You get respect by giving respect. Plus in or outside of kink you shouldn't act like a bag of dicks. Very true.

egern -> RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? (5/6/2013 3:58:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aswad quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar If that's what you call respect, your definition of that word differs vastly from mine. My thoughts exactly. Also, what kind of man puts on a uniform, goes out to "protect and serve", and does so by beating up kids and shooting them if they resist? Don't they check if candidates have basic human qualities before hiring? The whole point of a monopoly on violence in modern civilizations is to ensure that it is wielded correctly and in line with the law, as far as possible, by people that are willing to take on risk on behalf of others, people with discipline and character. IWYW, — Aswad. I agree, but think of all the late episodes when schools and kindergartens call the cops and they cuff 6-10 yr old children? I have so wondered about that, both seen from the teacher's point of view, and that of the cops.

MsEloquence -> RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? (5/7/2013 10:22:53 AM)
Fast reply. "Condecending" is a nasty word, just as "speaking down to" is a nasty phrase. On the other hand "informing" is a nice word, so is "educating." There are people who assume they're informing when they're condescending, and who assume they're shooting from the hip when they're rude. That being said, dominants are more likely to get by with condescension towards submissives than submissives towards dominants. Edited for typos

MasterCaneman -> RE: Dominants being condescending - personality trait? (5/7/2013 9:21:01 PM)
I've been following this thread for a bit now before really replying to it. I hate to say it, but I am condescending to people at times, whether here or on the street. It's a character flaw I've been working on, and I think I'm doing okay with it. In scene, yeah, I was a lot more, but it flowed with what was going on at the time. Of course I was a twenty-something kid with some military background, cocky as hell, and usually had something on board I care not to reveal publicly. I was good-looking, partied like a fool, made tons of money, and had some great gigs doing everything from driving truck to bouncing at the clubs. I was smart, funny, and built. Like everybody at that age, I knew it all. Of course I was a condescending asshole at times, who wouldn't be? But like good bourbon, you mellow with age and experience. At least I hope I did.

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