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Trying to Understand Submission - 4/23/2013 7:02:05 PM

bislutgina

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I am trying to understand why I have this strong desire to submit to men and or women. Can anyone help me understand it... I always seem to start the conversation with I have this crazy desire to submit, but I don't know why.

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RE: Trying to Understand Submission - 4/23/2013 7:38:48 PM

littlewonder

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probably because you are thinking with your genitals instead of your head.

Stop doing that.

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RE: Trying to Understand Submission - 4/23/2013 10:56:04 PM

myotherself

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I don't know why you want to submit.

I don't know how long you want to submit (all the time, or just until the little fella has dumped his load).

It's different for everyone.

For me, it's just the way I am. It makes me happy. That's all I need to know.

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RE: Trying to Understand Submission - 4/24/2013 1:13:00 AM

Dreamless

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You don't understand how your submission works? Well, that just won't do! I'm afraid you're banned from submitting until you know thyself. Very important, you know. How can you give yourself away if you don't know what you have to give.

And also until you can come up with at least five conversation openers that have nothing to do with how submissive you are.

Or, y'know, chill. Be introspective if you like. Only you can answer the question of why you want to submit. It's different for everyone, and "it's just how I am" might very well be the right answer for you. It's okay to just be submissive, know that's how it is. That light blue/pink for a username tells me you have a crazy urge to submit so you might as well tell me something I didn't already know!

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RE: Trying to Understand Submission - 4/24/2013 6:03:28 AM

theshytype

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It could be due to a various of reasons. I don't know you, so I can't answer that question for you.
For me, it's just the way that I am. I was born this way. I feed off of others' happiness. I have less desire to understand why and care more about being myself and submit to who I am and what I desire.

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RE: Trying to Understand Submission - 4/24/2013 6:32:56 AM

Rasciallymisty

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Maybe because like most of us that are submissive its just how we are wired. Like the others have said just chill and go with the flow.

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RE: Trying to Understand Submission - 4/24/2013 8:36:44 AM

bislutgina

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Is crazy desire to submit... the conversation starter was just an example.... I don't really think I have any desire to be personally pleasure... it wasn't until a couple years ago that I really enjoyed getting a bj... I always ask myself why are you doing this for me... on the other hand I always enjoy being on my knees or in somebody's Y... don't really yearn somebody satisfying me... I love.to please

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RE: Trying to Understand Submission - 4/24/2013 8:49:44 AM

DesFIP

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Are you talking about saying Okay when your partner says they want to go watch 42 when you would rather watch Oblivion? Or are you talking about putting on women's panties? Because the two are entirely different items.

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RE: Trying to Understand Submission - 4/24/2013 10:36:08 AM

bislutgina

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I am talking about both... I never want to decide where to go to eat... movie what to watch.... work I would say I am a leader.... what is soon as that part of my day is done... I enjoy being told what to do and when to do it.... and yes sexually I find myself a total slave.... enjoying the pleasure other get from taking what they want from me....

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RE: Trying to Understand Submission - 4/24/2013 7:02:30 PM

DesFIP

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It is common for many people who have responsibilities at work to enjoy coming home and having a break from the constant decision making. After all, when you go on vacation, you don't go do for free what you do every day for money.

I'm not sure there's a definitive answer for how we take pleasure by giving it to others. I don't know if it's necessary to understand why. As long as you have healthy boundaries and you don't feel taken advantage of, that should be enough.

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RE: Trying to Understand Submission - 4/25/2013 2:51:35 AM

Dreamless

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bislutgina

I am talking about both... I never want to decide where to go to eat... movie what to watch.... work I would say I am a leader.... what is soon as that part of my day is done...

Flip a coin! It really helps with that sort of indecision. ^_^ Or if you have to decide between more than two options keep dice around. I used to never be able to decide what I wanted to eat and now, I just let fate decide and if I don't like the outcome then I chose the other option. :D

Apparently a lot of people flip work/sex submission/domination. I know I do. After spending all day cleaning other people's messes I just want to tell someone else what to do. So that right there could be telling as to understanding your submission. After being in control all day, you want a break. You want things out of your hands. It's relieving knowing you don't have to be that way all the time.

Seems to be a pretty normal urge.

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RE: Trying to Understand Submission - 4/25/2013 8:37:09 AM

chatterbox24

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Yep bossying people around gets old too, its just nice to have someone else make the decisions.

Myself, sometimes I am just along for the ride, and just enjoy being with that person doing whatever they want to do.

It will drive you crazy those why why why questions. Its that way because it is. Just enjoy the journey.

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RE: Trying to Understand Submission - 4/25/2013 9:36:34 AM

bislutgina

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I would definitely say part of it is that release from everyday life... of having to choose direct and command... to the person that is told expected and control... but some of it still is... I never really enjoyed receiving a bj from some body until just a few years ago... my thoughts were always... why do you want to do this for me... I always felt that I must be doing something to please them at the same time... whether it was giving them a neck or head massage.... or playing with there tits or hair.... submission is in my make up somehow.... and I'm just trying to understand why?

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RE: Trying to Understand Submission - 4/25/2013 10:30:50 AM

chatterbox24

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YOur just a giver by nature, maybe you feel guilt when you recieve non reciprocated pleasure. Maybe your mother or father taught you it is better to give then recieve. Maybe you feel unworthy of your very own pleasure? Beats me. Maybe for the same reason you get a simple answer, and you can find no pleasure or satisfaction in that either.

IM kidding, but its really not that deep.

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My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

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