How do i find a slave? (Full Version)

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MasterMatt92 -> How do i find a slave? (5/1/2013 12:00:30 PM)

Whats the best way to find someone who is into what im into, without having to pay for it?



searching4mysir -> RE: How do i find a slave? (5/1/2013 12:08:00 PM)

Slaves R' Us. Third aisle on the left.



MasterMatt92 -> RE: How do i find a slave? (5/1/2013 12:11:18 PM)

You're clever. One could only dream of such a store.



LadyPact -> RE: How do i find a slave? (5/1/2013 12:14:22 PM)

My first thought. Local community.

Just don't be surprised that slaves aren't terribly interested in those who self label themselves as Masters.



OsideGirl -> RE: How do i find a slave? (5/1/2013 12:16:29 PM)

Well, the first thing would be that expect that most are going to not take someone who has virtually no experience and calls themselves a Master at age 20, seriously.

Second, approach women. Talk to them like a human being. Get to know them. See if your vanilla and kink desires line up.

Third, if the second action has worked, then date and gradually move into an M/s relationship.



MasterMatt92 -> RE: How do i find a slave? (5/1/2013 12:23:23 PM)

Chill out guys, just a username.

Sadly, i currently live in Helena, seeing that i'm not 21 i cant go to the bars around here. And there isn't any BDSM community at all. Hence why i was asking other alternatives.

When i lived in Washington i could just go to Seattle on 3rd to the underground where it was basically a gathering of everyone who was into some kind of kink, so it was easy to find someone. I had a TPE girlfriend for close to a year. But that was Washington, not that i'm in a whole new state, which basically has the population of 200. It's very hard, so i'm sure people who have been doing this longer than i have could give me a good idea what to look for when i don't have a city to really go to.

I'm not a newb, just in another environment.

Thanks again.



LadyPact -> RE: How do i find a slave? (5/1/2013 12:35:48 PM)

OP, you are on the net. That means your screen name is your first impression. Nobody is going to take you seriously like that. Your profile doesn't match the history that you are claiming here. That's not going to help you, either. (In other words, "a few sessions" on the profile doesn't match the TPE you're claiming on the thread.)

Please feel free to look where I live. You are closer to your nearest kink group than I am and you have better traveling conditions. Is it a common practice in your location that all of the munches are held in bars? If you can't take charge of your own destiny in getting to the kink community, how are you going to take charge of another person?

I've done two major moves in just the time I've been on this site. These days, it's pretty easy to track down the kink community that is closest to you. My suggestion would be that doing so might be an avenue for you to get what you want.



freedomdwarf1 -> RE: How do i find a slave? (5/1/2013 12:37:24 PM)

FR~

Perhaps, along the lines that others have commented about, setup a new profile that doesn't have such obvious disillusional connotations??
Pick a more sensible user ID.
You can always come back to this one when you have experience and actually have something you have mastered [:D]

Just my [sm=2cents.gif]



MasterMatt92 -> RE: How do i find a slave? (5/1/2013 12:49:06 PM)

I dont personally plan on finding anyone online.

And the TPE relationship did only have a few sessions. We must have different outlooks on things.

I was hoping you guys could be of help but i'll bring my concerns elsewhere.

Thank you.



LadyPact -> RE: How do i find a slave? (5/1/2013 12:58:52 PM)

You're welcome. We obviously have different definitions of TPE.

In the last ten minutes, I found your local group and read a review of the social they had on April 20. I'd still consider checking them out if I were you. Of course, your choices are your own.



myotherself -> RE: How do i find a slave? (5/1/2013 1:05:17 PM)

I think you've had a lot of sound advice so far.

You don't seem to understand the difference between TPE and a few sessions. During those sessions she may well have obeyed your every wish, but TPE usually covers the bits outside the bedroom too.

I'm a slave in a TPE relationship (and I DID find my Master on here). It means that when we're not in the bedroom doing kinky stuff, I still defer to him. He wants a shirt ironed at 2am, I get up and do it. He changes his mind and doesn't want a roast meat dinner but wants fish instead - I abandon one meal and start another.

To get a woman to that point takes a great deal of work on both sides, and a huge amount of trust too. You can't get that overnight. It takes time and commitment. Lots of time and lots of commitment.

Your best bet would be to read the messageboards, try to discover what it really is that you want - bedroom-only kink or 24/7 kink. Then try to figure out what kind of kink you want. Only then are you in a position to start looking for the person who just may be what you're looking for.




OsideGirl -> RE: How do i find a slave? (5/1/2013 1:24:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterMatt92

I dont personally plan on finding anyone online.
If you don't expect to find anyone online and won't make the effort to get out into your local community, how do you expect to find someone?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterMatt92
And the TPE relationship did only have a few sessions. We must have different outlooks on things.
You think sessions equal a Master/slave relationship or TPE relationship, when in reality it's a BDSM scene with bedroom only D/s like roles. As I said, you have limited experience and you're young, so naming yourself Master won't go over well.

quote:



I was hoping you guys could be of help but i'll bring my concerns elsewhere.

Thank you.


You can bring your concerns anywhere you'd like. You'll find that the general response will be the same from most of the people in WIITWD, unless you manage to find yourself someone who is dead new and doesn't know any better.

You got sound advice and instead of absorbing that advice, you've decided that you know more than the people who actually have successful D/s, M/s or TPE relationships.

Have a nice flounce.



SeekingTrinity -> RE: How do i find a slave? (5/1/2013 1:26:04 PM)

~FRing it~

What help did you expect that you weren't given, OP? You were given a number of good suggestions, some of which came from someone who lives in an even more rural location than you do. It takes time to gain the skills and it takes knowing what you are looking for. There is a HUGE difference between "a few sessions" and TPE. People can only give you advice...what you choose to do after that point is up to you.



freedomdwarf1 -> RE: How do i find a slave? (5/1/2013 1:26:42 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterMatt92

I dont personally plan on finding anyone online.

And the TPE relationship did only have a few sessions. We must have different outlooks on things.

I was hoping you guys could be of help but i'll bring my concerns elsewhere.

Thank you.

As LP and MOS have said.... You can't really call a few sessions "TPE".
It's much much more involved than that.

Maybe you should scoot around the boards and gen-up on the terminology a bit more.
It certainly seems that your ideas on things are somewhat different to many others.
So when you are communicating with others it does help if you are reading from the same page [:D]

And as MOS has said - they found their OH on CM (as have others) so anything is possible here.



mnottertail -> RE: How do i find a slave? (5/1/2013 1:27:24 PM)

I am unsure how your situation (or more properly speaking, lack of it) is of general concern.

See ya.   And you will so very much not be missed.



angelikaJ -> RE: How do i find a slave? (5/1/2013 1:41:49 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterMatt92

Whats the best way to find someone who is into what im into, without having to pay for it?



You are making so many assumptions that just don't match with reality:

Why would you have to pay for it?

Why can't you find people in your area?
(Hint: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=http%3A%2F%2Ffindamunch.com%2Fmontana%2F )

There is a community.

Your profile says nothing about what makes you worthy as a partner or master.
Female slaves are women first.
How would you find or date any woman?

As far as not meeting anyone online, I joined CM in June of '07.
[My] One found me January of '09; we are still together.




OsideGirl -> RE: How do i find a slave? (5/1/2013 1:52:08 PM)

And for the record, your local munch isn't held at a bar, it's held at a restaurant:

https://fetlife.com/events/163853

It took me less than a minute to find that listing.....



BitaTruble -> RE: How do i find a slave? (5/1/2013 2:02:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterMatt92

Whats the best way to find someone who is into what im into, without having to pay for it?


The 'best way' or the quickest way?

Best way - decide on the kind of women whom you wish to attract then set about being the sort of man who will attract those women. If you want to attract a woman who enjoys making a home for her man, perhaps raising his children, being a faithful and loyal partner then whoring around town, getting drunk, gambling your paycheck away and raising cane probably won't be attract that sort of woman. A pistol whipping hot-tamale who lives for the word 'paaaaaaaaaaarty' may like that sort of man though. If you need something between those two, then being more balanced will be to your advantage.

Find the seat of your power and use it to help you be true to your own nature. Some Masters are dominant because their kink is to give or force pleasure.. others are into complete authority in all aspects from A - Z and others like tying up their girlfriends and getting blow jobs on demand and/or being in complete control for 90 sexy mins at a time. None of those are right or wrong and there are tons more. Just find what works for you, brings you joy, happiness, good fucking.. whatever it is and don't worry about what is outside your own universe. There's plenty of room for everyone.


So, get it together and decide 'your' path first. Once you've got that part down, the rest flows naturally. Patience is a virtue and if you're old enough, mature enough and wise enough to be a "master", then patience should be no problem at all for you. The quality of the path 'you' carve out is most likely going to effect the quality of the woman who chooses to follow it.

Good luck and as usual YMMV



TieMeInKnottss -> RE: How do i find a slave? (5/1/2013 2:26:03 PM)

Honestly..it is the same as looking for someone "to settle down with". It is not easy to find someone that you are attracted to, are at similar points in your life so you are looking for the same thing, who are both unattached...so throwing in the kink factor kind of just makes it a longer process & there really is no better answer than the same I would give to my 20something vanilla niece or the nice, divorced middle-aged vanilla guy at work...you go places where you are likely to find people with similar interests and values, you attend activities and classes...you do a lot of "first" dates...and you hope that all of the stars line up at some point. According to Fetlife, there are almost 300 kinksters in Helena Montana on that site alone. Go to some of their local groups' activities and, not all are in bars, in fact, since the SS&C followers are usually so opposed to drinking and playing. Also, because of the way zoning laws are that allow kink clubs to open, many clubs do NOT have liquor licenses and are not "bars"

Now, I know you are not looking online but if you decide to..you need to re-write your profile. Currently, it sounds very "off the cuff". You need to write it as if it is an "intro letter" for a job-give the reader a sense of who YOU are, what you offer and what you are interested in. Also...lose the picture in the crown with the sunglasses...it screams immature and young and, while nothing wrong with that, even young subs/slaves are looking for mature and responsible partners. Remember, from our (the sub) standpoint there is a lot of risk in who you "play" with or "bottom" for.



Charles6682 -> RE: How do i find a slave? (5/1/2013 2:56:17 PM)

I can finally say that after all these years,I am now a happily owned slave to my beautiful Domme.I don't know how many times I would come on here on Collarme/Collarchat and write about how I couldn't find a Domme,etc.After realizing I didn't have all the answers,I finally started to follow the advice people were giving me here on Collarme.I realize the thing I need to change the most is me.I I did some serious soul searching and still continue to do so.

Now that I am finally happily owned,my next goal is to learn to be the best slave I can be for her.I have known her for over 3 years now,so that's a plus.But I do realize theres a difference between fantasy and reality.When we were just friends,naturally I had plenty of say with what I could do.Now that I have agreed to be her slave,she has made it very clear to me who is in charge.Of course I love the experience but it is a very humbling experience for me.This is what I've been wanting.

I just want to thank all the goo people here on Collarme who would put up with me.Even if I don't always agree with everyone on here,I do respect everyones opinion,I thought a lot of people on here,in Collarchat,were just being mean and bitter people.I know that's not the case.The fact is sometimes the truth hurts.But its better to be told the truth and advice on how to fix the problem,then to be ignored and not have any respond at all.



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