quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
I've tried for years. It still hurts like hell for me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity

~FRing it~

Best place to begin is for you to do some self analysis on what this activity brings up in your mind. You said that it was partly mental for you...so ask yourself where you are at mentally with this. You have to know what makes you tick first before you can begin to help him to learn how to work that clock. If and when you are able, talk honestly with him about your thoughts and feelings.

After that, I second what OsideGirl says. Start slow with maybe a finger or so while doing an activity that you enjoy. You begin to incorporate a pleasurable experience into something that used to trigger bad feelings. Anal is one of those things that a Top (well, this top anyway) builds slowly up to...using stepping stones of good experiences to create a path that will lead both people to where they would like to go.