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help my new mistress - 5/7/2013 10:16:17 AM

useme50201

Posts: 4
Joined: 7/19/2012
From: United States
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Have a new girlfriend and she knows that I am into almost everything on the BS/sm checklist and would like to learn how to be my mistress can anyone give me some advice to where I can direct her to help her

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RE: help my new mistress - 5/7/2013 10:21:39 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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Yes. Get involved with your local community so she can learn how to top safely. She also may enjoy some of the selections from this book list. http://www.collarchat.com/m_1726118/tm.htm

_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: help my new mistress - 5/7/2013 10:22:49 AM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Yes. Get involved with your local community so she can learn how to top safely. She also may enjoy some of the selections from this book list. http://www.collarchat.com/m_1726118/tm.htm

I second this. I would also suggest that she find herself a mentor from her local community, as well.

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RE: help my new mistress - 5/7/2013 11:13:02 AM

searching4mysir

Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Yes. Get involved with your local community so she can learn how to top safely. She also may enjoy some of the selections from this book list. http://www.collarchat.com/m_1726118/tm.htm

I second this. I would also suggest that she find herself a mentor from her local community, as well.

And by mentor we mean another domme. Mentors shouldn't get involved sexually with their mentees.

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RE: help my new mistress - 5/7/2013 11:26:35 AM

useme50201

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Thank you all and many more comments are welcome

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RE: help my new mistress - 5/8/2013 12:55:22 AM

Dreamless

Posts: 104
Joined: 7/30/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir

And by mentor we mean another domme. Mentors shouldn't get involved sexually with their mentees.

Okay, but what if that other domme was a lesbian and his new mistress is bisexual? Or what if she finds a nice gay male dom? Or a nice monogamous dom/me who's already involved? I don't think it really matters so much that it's a domme as a mentor.

Anyway, my point is, just find a good mentor who she won't be having sex with to learn from, not just porn. Go to some real events, watch, maybe there's local how to sessions and demos she/both of you could attend. Get some books. Ask questions on the internet. Learning takes active engagement of the information that's out there, and there's a lot of it! But nothing beats (heh heh) having someone real to show you how to swing a whip.

(in reply to searching4mysir)

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RE: help my new mistress - 5/8/2013 1:13:45 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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I think the implication that is being made is how complicated it can be when play leads to sexual complications, rather than be an educational priority. Nothing against subs that top or denying what can be learned from various folks. Somebody that a person is *not* going to be interested in can help to eliminate some confusion.

I'm big on going to educational events. Since I'm a hands-on kind of chick, I tend to look for those that are participation oriented. Rope seems to lead the way for this, but there are other areas, too. I try to include folks when I do the wax presentations. I think it's more fun that way.

Oh, and don't sit in the seat when the presenter says does anyone want to try.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Dreamless)

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RE: help my new mistress - 5/8/2013 3:20:23 AM

littleclip

Posts: 869
Joined: 5/31/2012
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also theres some books that may be of some help as well Training With Miss Abernathy : A Workbook for Erotic Slaves and Their Owners
by Christina Abernathy
Different Loving : The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission
by Gloria G. Brame, Jon Jacobs, Will Brame

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RE: help my new mistress - 5/8/2013 5:08:09 AM

DarkSteven

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Joined: 5/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir

And by mentor we mean another domme. Mentors shouldn't get involved sexually with their mentees.

I'm not sure I agree with this.

1. If by "mentoring", OP's girlfriend just needs to see how to do bondage, etc., safely, then any experienced and safe top will do.
2. If the mentoring includes discussion of FLR and how the dynamics of D/s work within the community and society, then there would be value in having another Domme mentor.

That said, I recently did a monthlong mentoring of a lesbian Domme, and I think I learned more than she did.

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RE: help my new mistress - 5/8/2013 6:32:18 AM

cloudboy