Fires and an overall crappy week....

Fires and an overall crappy week.... (Full Version)

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HayaSierra -> Fires and an overall crappy week.... (6/24/2006 3:32:46 PM)
I was considering for a few days weather to post anywhere public about this, but it is affecting me and perhaps sharing and getting some input from people will help a little keep my equilibruim a little bit better in a week when most things are going wrong. Very few people here know me, as I'm only a semiregular posters on this forum, and tend to keep myself busy both online and offline. I spent several months laying some firm plans, and things were going pretty much ok and according to plan until I returned to Florida to work for the summer. Since virtually the day of my arrival lots has gone wrong, all the details I will not share right now; but they involve almost all aspects of my life and have been quite borthersome to deal with. Despite all of it: financial, housing, illness, family, relationship etc -- I have maintained strong as always and only temporary wavered in my resolve to make the best out of things no matter how crappy they got. Then comes Tuesday; I was off from work. I was at home chatting with one of my online slaves and my roomate comes in and starts yammering about my job being in flames and that I would not be going to work the next day. Since I have heard similar in April when we had a small fire I discounted it and told him to put a sock in it, I'm in no mood for a bad joke. Sadly, 20 minutes later he called me to his room, he had the news running, and indeed I saw plastered all over the screen the club I dance at completely engulved in flames. For me with that report half of my world and just as many future plans collasped with the building's roof. I had came specifically to Florida to work there, and had specific estimations of how much I would be earning on avarage for the summer. This dictated many of my actions and plans for the future. Now this all was in the past. While I am grateful that I was off, that no one was hurt and that we all got offered positions in the sister club across the bridge, this has hit all of us fairly hard. Many of us had been working there for many years, built friendships and had lives that depended on that level of income. Many of us women dancing and men and women working there are dealing with life just as many others who work in conventional jobs. Now we have to work in a building only half as big, with twice as many employees and a less well maintained building. The money is a lot less, but still more than say working in an office or at home depot. I wished I could say that I have stayed strong in all of this but I'd be lying. This has been a byotch. I don't like the new club. Something about the environment just strikes me completely off balance. Everyday I go past the remains of my old job twice, and it hurts every time because it reminds me of the crappy situation that we are all in now and that it will take time to get out of it. It also reminds me of all the good memories I had built while working there and of the plans that I have now had to forsake because the fire occured. I sleep much longer than I usually do, am more moody and really don't feel like putting up with much -- especially not at said current job. I don't know what I'm really trying to ask here, but perhaps might someone know of a few things I might be able to do to relax a little better and come better to terms with this happening? Is it odd that I can stay strong through so much bs in life but that this is pushing all my wrong buttons too much and affecting me more than usually? Any suggestions at all for this normally strong woman who is really trying to effectively deal with this and who has others relying on her to be strong no matter what?

petwolf22 -> RE: Fires and an overall crappy week.... (6/24/2006 4:26:14 PM)
Hehe....i work at a club in Colorado where most of us joke about not caring if the building burned to the ground. i understand how you feel though, being cut off from an environment that you've grown comfortable with and where you work best. Lucky you that you had such a place. Do the old employees ever get together outside of the club? Maybe hold a barbecue or something where you can all visit and hang out and feel connected again. i think it will mostly just take time. Accept that some things have to be pushed back, and relax about them. Rewrite your goals in light of this major change, and then start thinking about the new ways they will be accomplished, not the old ways they were supposed to have been accomplished. and i understand this as well as anyone....dancing is an unguaranteed income. Your old club could have all of a sudden hit a strange slump and you might have been affected the same way. Good luck!

Wulfchyld -> RE: Fires and an overall crappy week.... (6/24/2006 7:30:04 PM)
Perhaps the fire may have been a way for Karma to move you along to better places. Have you thought about going to another city for your work?

HayaSierra -> RE: Fires and an overall crappy week.... (6/25/2006 3:07:21 AM)
Greetings, No we didn't want the building to burn down. While there may have been one or two that might leave in a huff and a puff one night upset and say " I wished this place would get blown away by a hurricane", these feelings were usually abated when the next best night (and/or customer) came along and gave those girls plenty of cash. We had a very good money location for having to do relatively "little" for it. Ie. no going nude or doing extra dirty or extra cheap dances. A big and relatively clean building with plenty of new improvements and a very established way for doing everything. No cutthroat, almost no drama, and a safe environment. This is rare in the business. While we have an exellent on the job comraderie, sadly, only small groupings of girls get together outside of work. Except the Christmas party.... because we had a major non-fraternization rule going on that would have made it difficult to have any large scale events outside of the club. While the management/owner would have not cared if 2 or 3 girls got together for some shopping or breakfast, had we involved any of the male employees in this we would have gotten into trouble. As for girls, many of us are spread around a bit, and working with different days off, and sometimes different shifts even. We have several that commute over an hour to get to this town, and many that have children, studies, additional jobs and other responsibilities as well. (In a good show of solidarity, we all stuck through this together and all came to the "sisterclub" -- even those who have children, studies and long distance commute). Even the Owner was impressed with the way we're handling it, and he almost NEVER gives thanks for anything we do. So while outside the job get togethers are unlikely this has by some odd twist brought us even closer together, which is a good thing. Petwolf, as for goals I have been doing this little by little and actually am coming up with a few ideas. Relaxing about it will likely take a little time, because as you stated, that will probably be the case. All of this will take time. In regards to sudden slumps in business, those during busy season are often very short term (such as a week with less tourists), or via hurricane evacuations. Anything short term we would have made up the next week, as for hurricane evacuations or a hurricane having hit here and done damage, I would have had to bite even a harder bullet and likely relocate. Loki, you may have a point about drawing me to go to other places. Seeing this occur made me consider Wichita for the fall and winter even more than I had before; and is making me check out places like Atlanta, Memphis and other such areas for potentials if absolutely needed, for either trips in the winter or for next spring as my money and savings might allow. Thank you to both of you for your help and insight. While everything is still rather bad, I'm doing my best to see everything in as positive light as I can -- and it's working a little...

Wulfchyld -> RE: Fires and an overall crappy week.... (6/25/2006 3:17:55 AM)
Perhaps you could work in a another city in Florida, Miami, Orlando, or sumthin?

petwolf22 -> RE: Fires and an overall crappy week.... (6/25/2006 1:31:52 PM)
Oh the non-fraternization rule (eyes rolling)...i worked at a club that fired people that went to breakfast after work, fired one of two people if they lived together, and separated any of the girls that talked to each other too much inside the club. We were not allowed to talk to the DJ, talk too much to a bouncer, or even the waitstaff beyond ordering a drink. Even if the club was completely empty, which there were occasions, girls were not allowed to sit anywhere near each other. They used to randomly follow people home to make sure they didn't go anywhere else but home--without us knowing. We only found out after the club had been bought out. Oh, on the bright side, it was a clean club, we never really had very many problems, and there were so few girls left within a year that we all made a lot of money. It's a bunch of crap, in my opinion. Maybe the owner would be willing to help put something together, that way he could supervise? And then whoever can come, can come. If you can't, oh well. Anyway. i'll get off my soapbox about that cuz i could argue on some of the things in this industry that piss me off for hours. Good luck.

Proprietrix -> RE: Fires and an overall crappy week.... (6/25/2006 1:47:41 PM)
I'm really sorry that you're having struggles right now. My quasi-boy and I were just looking at your profile and website yesterday and discussing your interesting views on things. I hope everything works out for you and yours.

MrrPete -> RE: Fires and an overall crappy week.... (6/25/2006 2:19:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HayaSierra While there may have been one or two that might leave in a huff and a puff one night upset and say " I wished this place would get blown away by a hurricane", I'd be careful about wishing for a hurricane. Katrina not only took my job but just about everything I owned. My apt was under ten ft of water. I'm still suffering from the loss.

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