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CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: Do you ever worry about.. corrupting someone? (5/8/2013 5:17:16 PM)
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First, a comment to ResidenSadist. HOLY HANNAH! I never fantasize about anything, sexually speaking, and I don't usually enjoy reading other people's fantasies but my brain is fried from reading that. Never would do any part of it but GAWD, that's hawt. (Got to think and type through this buzz now to finish my post, lol.)
kaimorea, I cannot speak for others but yes, I've had to examine my life, kink wise, and re-evaluate if I was going too far. If my corruption of others was okay or not. It's a conscience thing with religious issues mixed in...and...I always have to double check myself to be sure I'm not crossing the line.
In a way it's ridiculous that I feel the need to do this. After all, anything between consenting adults should be okay, as long as it's healthy for both of them. But I have an ugly past, stuff happened to me, and somehow it gave me concerns (near paranoia, lol) over becoming anything like my abusers. When I first found out that I reacted with arousal over someone else being spanked it horrified me. I was okay with D/s and bondage but not with "impact play". My mentor had to remind me to breathe and then talked me through mentally changing gears, that impact play can be just another form of sensation play. She also had me read a lot of stuff on the internet that explained the difference between BDSM and abuse (I still have some of those links, if you are interested).
For the first year, I kept wondering if I was corrupting myself. I felt guilty for liking "hurting" someone, and something of a freak for getting a female boner (orgasmic platform) from flogging, paddling, etc., and spanking guys. Sometimes it takes a while to feel comfortable with yourself...and time proved to me that this is healthy and nurturing for the both of us.
My boy NEEDS his beatings. [;)] He gets very wound up through the week and what I do to him mellows him out. I've also noticed that (with quite a few men), impact play and subspacing has helped lower their blood pressure for a week or two afterward. bo hasn't needed to be on BP meds for a year and a half, his doctor said so and took him off of it. (He's still checked from time to time to see if he would need the meds back again.)
Reading 'When Someone You Love is Kinky' might help you make peace with what's bothering you. You won't turn him into a monster. When I spank or flog or cane my boy, it's not all about me. I'm watching him intently, noticing everything; this is a symbiotic relationship not a parasitic one. And btw, some people enjoy lighter impacts until their endorphins raise higher and then they can take it harder. Others want it to be rough from the start, not erotic, so they can feel purged/punished/cleansed. There are perfectly normal, healthy, average joe type of people out there that are doing more in their bedroom (and dungeon) than you would be comfortable with...we're all around...I doubt that you are the only kinky person in your area. (Yay for warm, pink butts with nice hand prints on them!)
Somewhere in my computer I've made a file of news articles...did you know that some well known countries have done studies that say that spanking or caning can help alter a depressed person's brain chemistry for the better? In another, it said it helped people with ADHD. In another...caning is being given as a prescription to be filled, to help people who want to break their addiction to drugs or alcohol. (Feel better now?)
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