njlauren
Posts: 1577
Joined: 10/1/2011
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I would suspect that kind of freak out is related to some sort of trauma they have had, my therapist used to say when something that should cause this kind of reaction (holding her hands close together) generated this (her hands way apart), something is at work. The guy with the nail polish probably was freaked out at the idea of being in public, of what he saw as public humiliation, and he probably had some bad incidents in the past, maybe getting caught doing something by his mother or something (most subs into being 'forced' into femme wear are not being forced, they are cd's who need to be told to do it, too afraid to do it on their own), and that is what caused the freak out. Back when I was still doing pro playing, where I got into pretty heavy corporal, play piercing, catheters, you name it, I discovered a major one that hit by surprise, to this day from that day on, I cannot be put in bondage and blindfolded, it triggers massive claustrophobia attacks (which in therapy I traced back to my dear older brother, I owe him big time for that one); same way, I cannot do breath play or sense deprivation kind of things, freak me out, it is a true phobia. I knew a sub, weirdly enough, who was a fellow TG gal who loved anal sex, but could not do strap on play with a woman, because a prior girlfriend and a friend of hers had basically raped her after the gf had her dress up and put her in bondage....but she could have anal sex with a guy, no problem.
One thing I would tell any dominant that happened to is that generally there is a reason for the freak out, and the sub may not have realized it would happen, and it usually indicates there is something deeper there ( I suspect experienced dominants know this, probably have experienced it) and to make allowances. That doesn't mean that the sub has the right to be abusive or in the freak out be bad towards the dominant, but if something like this happens and the sub hadn't mentioned it, it probably was because he/she wasn't even aware it was a problem.
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RE: What's the most surprising limit you've come across? - 
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Re-read. He was expressing to me his feeling of conflict. No where in my post did I say I was trying to get him to do anything he didn't want to do. We were having a discussion about how he viewed himself and his feelings of conflict. We were not discussing limits, and I didn't throw anything anywhere. All I was doing was pointing out that he was in error as to what his religion actually said on the subject. I was attempting to help him feel better, not feel worse.
It was funny, I found that thread later on and was quite baffled by the whole situation.
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