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It is just quite frustrating here - 5/10/2013 3:18:26 PM   
Submissivekerl


Posts: 26
Joined: 3/2/2013
Status: offline 		So the thing is very simple and I must say ofcourse this topic has been dealt with and discussed a thousand times but it seems that most dominant women here are either only after your money or are simply guys pretending to be women which is just weird, and since this section is about asking a Mistress. Then here goes

What can a submissive guy do inorder to get a mistress for a relationship and ultimatley marriage? Searching on collar me doesn't seem to yeild anything on the contrary a complete waste of time, any tips would be more than welcomed and I really hope I posted in the right section here :) cheers
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: It is just quite frustrating here - 5/10/2013 3:39:45 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		Well, you have been here less than two months. That isn't very long to try to find the love of your life, is it? It's understanding that once you figure out what you want, having the patience to wait for it can be difficult. I have no patience at all, I know that. But I also know that good things come to those who wait, so quite the conundrum, huh?

If you seriously want to know what to do to help the process along, start with your profile. It really doesn't say much about you, other than you seem to have a good amount of baggage. Not a desirable trait. So re-work it. Write about your life NOW, not your past. What you enjoying doing in your free time, hobbies, passions, etc. that aren't kink related (this is key), so the kind of women you want will see you as someone who is looking for more than just kinky sex.


(in reply to Submissivekerl)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: It is just quite frustrating here - 5/10/2013 3:42:48 PM   
iamwhoiamabc123


Posts: 78
Joined: 5/4/2013
Status: offline 		Now don't talk this to heart as I know little about it, but its not what you can do, it what your mistress wants you to do.
You have to be obedient and ready to be patient a lot.
Don't be rude and don't act stupid,
Dominant women on this forum want subs that can listen and pay attention to their wants and their desires, understanding what they want will take time and trust!!!!!

I hope this helps you!!!!!

(in reply to Submissivekerl)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: It is just quite frustrating here - 5/10/2013 3:50:06 PM   
Submissivekerl


Posts: 26
Joined: 3/2/2013
Status: offline 		Well, thanks alot for the advice but in response to Lafayettelady that is a new account since well go really screwed with the last one :) and yep I admit it my account requires alot of working on yep.

Their wants and desires, need to find one first :) thanks again.

(in reply to iamwhoiamabc123)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: It is just quite frustrating here - 5/10/2013 5:28:27 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Fella, your profile say nothing about you. I assume you speak Arabic, German, and English, so you're educated. What are your hobbies? What would you like to do with a woman - opera, theater, picnics, bicycle riding..?

There's a reason I say that. Assuming your message to a woman piques her interest, her next step will be to check out your profile.



< Message edited by DarkSteven -- 5/10/2013 5:30:05 PM >

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Submissivekerl)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: It is just quite frustrating here - 5/10/2013 5:34:00 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		People don't like it when I say this. I'm about to tell you something that you don't want to hear.

On a place like CM, there are way, way, more of you than there are of us. One roughly any given day, a hundred males join this site and check the submissive box. That's compared to ten or fifteen at most that have female profiles and check the Dominant box. I'm not going to go into how many of that 10-15 are fin dommes or are actually women. That's per day. In the US alone. Keep adding those numbers up, day by day, week by week, months, and years.

In other words, the numbers are hideously at your disadvantage.

My advice is you honestly want to meet somebody, you want to use various methods and particularly try those where the numbers will not be so much against you. It's the same principle as in advertising. You don't pick only one avenue and you sure don't rely on the one that has the least chance of success. If you ran a health spa, you wouldn't choose to advertise only on radio at 2:00 AM.

Look into your local community. Join additional sites. Attend educational events. Be proactive. Be willing to try more than one method.

I do want to wish you the best of luck.






_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Submissivekerl)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: It is just quite frustrating here - 5/10/2013 5:37:58 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact



Look into your local community. Join additional sites. Attend educational events. Be proactive. Be willing to try more than one method




I would second this. I would also recommend that you check out the sticky at the top of this forum.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: It is just quite frustrating here - 5/10/2013 5:45:15 PM   
Submissivekerl


Posts: 26
Joined: 3/2/2013
Status: offline 		Thanks for the advice, thanks Darksteven :) would be working on it shortly.
Ladypact, Facts are facts and yes what you have stated is a fact indeed, it is harder as a male submissive seeking a female dominant or even a switch than a dominant seeking a sub, true.
I would however really feel out of place in a local community were all get to meet, not really good in social gatherings. But thanks for the advice :)

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: It is just quite frustrating here - 5/10/2013 5:48:49 PM   
Submissivekerl


Posts: 26
Joined: 3/2/2013
Status: offline 		Don't want to look dumb here, what sticky :S, did I post somewhere wrong ? Or do something wrong? Where is this elusive sticky you talk of? And what's it about? Just too many questions at once hope it isn't rude.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: It is just quite frustrating here - 5/10/2013 5:55:10 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline 		Here you go, amigo: http://www.collarchat.com/m_3057130/tm.htm

^^^The sticky that will save you lots of time and heartache. Welcome to the boards, and best of luck.

(in reply to Submissivekerl)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: It is just quite frustrating here - 5/10/2013 6:00:06 PM   
Submissivekerl


Posts: 26
Joined: 3/2/2013
Status: offline 		Wow that was informative :)

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: It is just quite frustrating here - 5/10/2013 6:34:02 PM   
Submissivekerl


Posts: 26
Joined: 3/2/2013
Status: offline 		Guess the profile looks better now :) thanks alot guys.

(in reply to Submissivekerl)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: It is just quite frustrating here - 5/10/2013 6:52:00 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Submissivekerl

I would however really feel out of place in a local community were all get to meet, not really good in social gatherings. But thanks for the advice :)


I'm glad you found the sticky.

I'll say that pretty much every one has had trepidation about going to their first meet/munch/social. But, really, I would suggest at least giving it a try before writing it off. But, there are things beyond socials/munches. Check to see if there are demos, lectures and discussion groups near you.




_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Submissivekerl)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: It is just quite frustrating here - 5/10/2013 6:55:19 PM   
Submissivekerl


Posts: 26
Joined: 3/2/2013
Status: offline 		Discussion groups about BDSM, O my , sitting and discussing BDSM with complete strangers hmm.. That requires alot of social well.. I would name it confidence which I do have but not discussing BDSM with strangers, it is supposed to be intimate I think.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: It is just quite frustrating here - 5/10/2013 7:26:31 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline 		^^^Then try a munch first. They are usually very casual and vanilla-appearing, meeting in an informal location like a restaurant.

(in reply to Submissivekerl)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: It is just quite frustrating here - 5/10/2013 8:18:57 PM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline 		Step one is, figure out that guys are not that hard to find.

_____________________________

Frosted Flake
simul justus et peccator
Einen Liebhaber, und halten Sie die Schraube

"... evil (and hilarious) !!" Hlen5

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: It is just quite frustrating here - 5/10/2013 8:44:12 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Submissivekerl

Guess the profile looks better now :) thanks alot guys.


It is much better than it was before. Good job. Another thing we are always telling the sub guys here, and you are doing that quite well....maintain your composure on this side (the forums). Accept advice graciously and ask questions willing to accept you might not always like the answers.

I would say you are off to a good (re)start. Welcome to the boards and stick around. We aren't as imposing and vicious as some make us out to be. You can learn a lot and even possibly make connections with people you could attend a munch with so you wouldn't be alone. Like MDA said, munches are not BDSM driven conversations all the time. You could think of a munch as being like a business meeting where people with a common interest (in business, whatever your job, with a munch, the BDSM) get together and just meet like ordinary everyday people.

We have a couple regular posters from Germany, they might be able to help clue you in on some of the events, munches and whatnot in your area.

(in reply to Submissivekerl)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: It is just quite frustrating here - 5/10/2013 10:23:51 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Submissivekerl
I would however really feel out of place in a local community were all get to meet, not really good in social gatherings. But thanks for the advice :)
Let's put it another way.

Just for the sake of argument, lets take the kink out of it. What if you were a person who was interested in women of faith, but you wouldn't go to church? What if you liked women who enjoyed books, but you wouldn't go to the bookstore or join reading groups? What if you liked women who enjoyed ballroom dancing, but you wouldn't go to the club or to class? Would you think if you joined a forum about any of these other things, that stuff is going to magically happen?

It's up to you if you sit on the sidelines of life or not.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Submissivekerl)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: It is just quite frustrating here - 5/10/2013 10:24:47 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

It is much better than it was before.


Seconded.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: It is just quite frustrating here - 5/11/2013 12:04:35 AM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		Be clever. Women of all sorts like clever men.

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to Submissivekerl)
Profile   Post #: 20
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