Cam and dominance (Full Version)

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Submissivekerl -> Cam and dominance (5/11/2013 4:57:21 AM)

Ok, I know I have been posting quite extensively these days, but was just wondering and hope you do forgive me.
What's up with Cam and dominant ladies, they seem to never come on cam, I mean as a sub ofcourse your first encounter with a mistress is just doubful, and with all honesty that question goes through your head like for hours on end; 'is she real?'
So the question is if you are a dominant or even a switch would you get on cam for your sub just to show him you are real, in a social public or even private meeting a sub or a person always sees the face of the other person, so why is it a big deal here?



kalikshama -> RE: Cam and dominance (5/11/2013 5:04:09 AM)

I am a submissive female and have never been on cam. I was only interested in men who were local, and were available to meet for coffee or lunch within a few weeks of talking.

That's how I learn if someone is "real" - meet for coffee.



SophiaMaam -> RE: Cam and dominance (5/11/2013 5:07:48 AM)

If you were willing to go and get involved in local munches and meet people that way, you could just skip all the cam nonsense.



Killerangel -> RE: Cam and dominance (5/11/2013 5:13:05 AM)

It's been suggested to you already that some of these 'women' are not women. That would be a good reason not to cam. Another thing is that if you're contacting people who have up profiles to bring in some money, they may be female but not be the person they are portraying in their pictures.



Submissivekerl -> RE: Cam and dominance (5/11/2013 5:18:11 AM)

I know, hence the question 'why is it so hard to get on cam' should one assume with a 'no' directly a fake profile or simply some dominants think it is just 'absurd' and from the second and first responses, I am inclined to think that the 'absurd' part is more true generally among women, I know I do think out loud sometimes so excuse me if I get on your nerves or already have :)



LadyPact -> RE: Cam and dominance (5/11/2013 5:26:49 AM)

I don't cam. If a person can't meet Me at a local munch, it's nothing but a waste of My time.

I've met literally hundreds of people that have been members of this site over the years. I've done demos in five different states and attended events in eight. If I could fake all of the references that I've got as a presenter and a member of various groups, I wouldn't even begin to think of a title for that kind of level of con.



Killerangel -> RE: Cam and dominance (5/11/2013 5:28:46 AM)

So is what you are saying that when the "women" Dominants refuse to get on cam that people know at that time that they aren't representing themselves truthfully? If that's what you're getting at, there are plenty of men out there that will buy into the idea that the female Dominants are being Dominating, and therefore don't have to cam. It might be obvious to you what game is being played, but it isn't to everyone.



absolutchocolat -> RE: Cam and dominance (5/11/2013 5:31:50 AM)

Also, with all of the idiot wankers recording cam sessions, there are many incentives to stay off camera for complete strangers.



Submissivekerl -> RE: Cam and dominance (5/11/2013 5:35:25 AM)

Well, not to be rude but it requires exactly 20 seconds for someone to see your face and trust would just kick off from there, (granted personal meetings is better than online) and recording a face cam 20s conversation is of no use to anyone espicially if you have a photo on your profile. :)



kalikshama -> RE: Cam and dominance (5/11/2013 5:54:59 AM)

Hopefully by the end of this thread you will realize how insulting your attitude of "take 20 seconds to prove to me you are not a liar" is.



Submissivekerl -> RE: Cam and dominance (5/11/2013 6:03:02 AM)

What attitude?
Never meant it this way at all, if you meet in public you get to see each other why would it be different if you would want to do that on the net? She said people would record , I replied it only takes 20s to come on cam and then you can either chat or speak through the mic if you don't feel comfortable, which is totally understandable since true so many people have cam recorders.

There is no attitude here, a healthy relationship is based on trust and if he is hidding his face what reason is it to trust him or her?
I may have represented it in a wrong manner but there is no attitude here.



LadyPact -> RE: Cam and dominance (5/11/2013 6:10:27 AM)

Let's try again..........

If a person meets another at a munch or an event, you're not taking My picture without My consent. I don't have to be concerned about you distributing it on the net. Most groups don't allow cameras, including cell phones.

The thing is, while you want your doubts removed with this "prove yourself on cam" bit, I honestly don't have any reason to trust you. Sure, you might be a nice guy and all of that. However, everybody says that they would never do such a thing, even the ones that do. Way too many people get their image stolen from a quick hi on cam.



Submissivekerl -> RE: Cam and dominance (5/11/2013 6:14:22 AM)

But..

You already have a picture on your profile (if you have one), What would keep him from stealing and distributing that? Right, there are no attitudes here only something that seems irrational to me, I am trying to understand.



saundrakitty -> RE: Cam and dominance (5/11/2013 6:31:12 AM)

Actually some have stolen some pictures and used them as their own. I also do not web cam with someone I have never meet in person at a local Munch, or we got together and meet and had coffee. I do not even ask a sub to cam for me as well. The only time I have ever gone on cam was when we both had already meet each other face- to - face and had already interacted localy, but all we did was just straight talk and noting else happened.



Submissivekerl -> RE: Cam and dominance (5/11/2013 6:34:00 AM)

Ok thanks for the input :)



LadyPact -> RE: Cam and dominance (5/11/2013 7:00:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Submissivekerl

But..

You already have a picture on your profile (if you have one), What would keep him from stealing and distributing that? Right, there are no attitudes here only something that seems irrational to me, I am trying to understand.
It's far easier for Me to fix that than what could be distributed that I've never posted as a pic before.

I don't mean any offense, but are you seriously saying that you don't understand the difference between a shot that I've had taken and specifically posted on the net than one that I didn't consent to? I can't possibly be the only chick on this site that only posts pics when My hair, make-up, and nails are done just right.




Submissivekerl -> RE: Cam and dominance (5/11/2013 7:16:59 AM)

Not at all , I could entirely diffrentiate between the 2 cases,
But what I mean is the following, a domme has a picture in her profile that she approves and consents about posting it, let's say a face picture, cause in this condition we are talking about verification, which on a side note does settle the trust issue on the internet (espicially in a long distance relationship)
She would however, not want to come on cam and show that same 'face' which she previously consented on showing by posting it as a picture.
One can argue well, Just as you did the act of consent is based on the time and enviroment inwhich a picture or a video was taken and not the content per se. But again just to me and no rudness here intended that is still completely irrational, a video is made of a set of photos in fast succession after all, the 20s required to actually build trust between the 2 ,well... in this virtual senario long distance parties which already have pictures up is not as damaging, but O well I am the new guy here :) maybe I over saw something due to lack of experience.



TeaseAndSpankMe -> RE: Cam and dominance (5/11/2013 7:26:44 AM)

I will not go on cam & my profile states that as I prefer to have some initial email communication to establish mutual interest, then speak on the phone. You can pick up a lot on that initial phone call to decide if you want to invest the time to meet in person.

There are *some* people who like the idea of doing Cam as they don't have to leave the house, go anywhere or pay for that coffee...lol

Also, even though one may choose to not do anything explicit on Cam...you would be communicating because you met through this site. Many people are concerned about their privacy and having THAT recorded...even if it is for only a short amount of time.




TheLilSquaw -> RE: Cam and dominance (5/11/2013 7:36:41 AM)

I don't cam verify.

NEVER have, the reality is you can verify who / what I say I am easily.

My blog gives ways to verify me through references so does my fetlife and on alt.com I am ID verified. I am also VERY willing to meet people for hot chocolate (I don't drink coffee) at Star Bucks or for lunch.

I used to say meet me at a munch, fetish club or play party but the truth is I don't attend them much anymore.

I do have some LD fin slaves and video slaves who I speak with cam to cam but that is different.




Submissivekerl -> RE: Cam and dominance (5/11/2013 7:37:08 AM)

I will pick up the stance of that guy who wants you on cam cause it seems that he hasn't got alot of supporters here :), sometimes going out is not an option, different countries for example , I would say a phone call would probably be enough for me, but since I am defending the cam guy, the privacy issue is totally understandable but he is also taking the same risk in a way, again it is quite hard to control your enviroment and privacy on a short verification broadcast, harder than in a photo.. granted.



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