RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the lifestyle? (Full Version)

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Rasciallymisty -> RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the lifestyle? (5/12/2013 7:11:26 AM)

I have been in two. The first was 4 years and a few months, it was long distance and the distance just got to be to much. The second was a little over six years though the last three years there was very very little D/s as his illnesses took over his body. Communication and trust where the two key things in both.

kar



Kana -> RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the lifestyle? (5/12/2013 7:25:14 AM)

Seven plus, and we've known each other for, dear Gawd, where did the time go, nine.
Yeah, we work because we click. We have similar values, life experiences, goals, desires. (Plus we both think I'm the cats meow, which means we have great taste [8D])
But really, mostly, we're together because:
A-We're willing to put the work in,
B-I've never been willing to let her go.
C-The rocks in my head fit perfectly with the holes in hers.



Level -> RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the lifestyle? (5/12/2013 7:32:51 AM)

1 year [>:]



Wisenlilminx -> RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the lifestyle? (5/12/2013 8:04:31 AM)

My (bottom) wife and I will be married for 6 years in September. So we've been together over 8 year. I've had three other BDSM relationships that lasted a little over 6 years. My wife and I still are friends with two of them.

I've found focusing more on the relationship and let the BDSM stuff fall into place.

And I especially like a previous post:

"Let go of any ideas of what the 'perfect' sub/slave/dominant/mistress is like and don't be hard on yourselves if you need to make changes. "



littlewonder -> RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the lifestyle? (5/12/2013 8:13:42 AM)

As Master (Kana) said, 7 years and knowing each other 9 years and for the reasons he gave. But I was also married to my childhood sweetheart. We were married for 5 years before he passed away, but we knew each other for much longer, having grown up together in the same neighborhood, going to the same schools. I've always been a long term relationship kinda girl. I take my relationships seriously and do all I can to put the work into them.

Here's the thing...don't jump into relationships. Get to know the person first. That's the key imo.

ETA: It's not the bdsm that have made my relationships work. It was the love and getting to know each other and work.



myotherself -> RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the lifestyle? (5/12/2013 8:19:13 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana


C-The rocks in my head fit perfectly with the holes in hers.



I absolutely love this! [:D]




Rasciallymisty -> RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the lifestyle? (5/12/2013 8:21:13 AM)

Awe love both of your post and I agree 100% .... " Don't jump into relationships, get to know the person first." well said.

kar



sexyred1 -> RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the lifestyle? (5/12/2013 8:22:27 AM)

12 years.

It is over.



OsideGirl -> RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the lifestyle? (5/12/2013 8:28:45 AM)

Master and I have been friends for 16 years, together for 13 years, married for 12 years. We're still madly in love.

We are friends and we genuinely like each other. Our core values and goals match up. We have just enough different between us that we can still have a good debate. We work hard to ensure that each of us feels secure within the relationship and believe in transparency. He doesn't pull the "Because I'm the Dom" routine, and I don't expect him to read my mind.



punisher440 -> RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the lifestyle? (5/12/2013 8:35:11 AM)

My longest was 4 years dating,18 years married...but not all the time was it in a power exchange.We both enjoyed experimenting and it lead us both into what was right for us.For me,it can't all be kink nor can it all be vanilla.There is a happy blend somewhere in the middle between the 2 where both can enjoy being who and what they are.Like the others have said,communication is the key for it to last...oh,and don't forget honesty.Without honesty there can be no trust and without that you have nothing.[just my [sm=2cents.gif] ]



KnightofMists -> RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the lifestyle? (5/12/2013 11:41:28 AM)

Alandra and I have been a relationship since the summer of 1987. In June of 1990 Alandra and I were married and she took a vow of obedience. So... Been doing this along time. Kyra joined us in April 2005 as a relationship when she took a vow of obedience. In Dec 2006 she moved in we us... So been a poly lifestyle relationship abit too! But to be honest... We're the exception rather than the rule. I found over the years that most relationships struggle getting past three years.



Born2PleezeU -> RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the lifestyle? (5/12/2013 12:25:49 PM)

Wow, thank you for all the heartfelt responses and helpful advice! I never realized my fellow kinksters are so freakin' cool, lol. I really appreciate the sharing of your experiences and insights.

I realize this thread represents a very small sample, but there seem to be a lot of BDSM relationships that don't last beyond 6 or 7 years. Perhaps this is paralleled in the world of vanilla relationships, but I would think with all the benefits of openness, sharing, communication, trust, etc. that a BDSM relationship requires, that there would be even more people in the 10+ year club.

And for those who havent made it past 6 or 7 month, don't give up hope of finding the right one with whom you can make it work, and work well.




KawaiiPerv -> RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the lifestyle? (5/12/2013 12:26:39 PM)

I've only been with one true dom for about 2 years. After that I tried to date people who weren't in the lifestyle but I craved submission and it made it difficult to be in more 'normal' relationships. Ah well, one day I shall have that again.



AVegasMaster -> RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the lifestyle? (5/12/2013 12:31:00 PM)

My longest was ten years.



MissToYouRedux -> RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the lifestyle? (5/12/2013 12:34:50 PM)

The longest, 10 years.

With submissives I've met through CM, four lasted or continues to last with no end in sight [;)] for over two years.



lizi -> RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the lifestyle? (5/12/2013 5:13:25 PM)

My longest serious lifestyle relationship was just short of 4 years. I never thought it would end. It worked very well while it lasted, we both seemed fulfilled.

I'm not 100% sure I"ll be in another D/s relationship, maybe. I'm not sure I'd be able to hand over the trust necessary to make that work.



MizzSpitfire -> RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the lifestyle? (5/12/2013 5:14:53 PM)

My Master and I have been together for 5 1/2 years, and got married last summer!



kiwisub12 -> RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the lifestyle? (5/12/2013 5:55:30 PM)

my first bdsm relationship lasted five years - and ended with his death. And for me the secret of its longevity was him - after we had been together for six months, he asked me how our relationship was - and was genuinely interested in what i had to say. It surprised the hell out of me, scared me and touched me. The fact that he was interested in keeping our relationship healthy said a lot to me.

My present relationship is three years and counting, and we will be married sometime in the future. Our relationships longevity i owe to the fact that we both want whats best for the other. We both were in marriages where the other was absent emotionally, and neither want that again.



MistressDarkArt -> RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the lifestyle? (5/12/2013 6:03:22 PM)

13 and 14 years, presently and more or less concurrently.

The secret? Not living with them! Both S and I need our own domiciles, and Cabin Boy is raising his son and helping his aging mom in their house.



DesFIP -> RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the lifestyle? (5/12/2013 6:34:00 PM)

This is my first and only d/s relationship. It will be ten years this summer. The things that make it a success are the same things that make vanilla relationships a success. Communication skills, relationship skills, compatibility. The more things you agree on, the less stress. And stress is a killer.



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