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Room For Improvement - 5/16/2013 10:45:52 PM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline 		Well, there always is. We do it for ourselves, for others.

I don't have any great drive for self-improvement at the moment, more for lack of time than interest; though I am always working on communication with my girl and with the people in my life. I try to see through her eyes and learn from what she views. When it comes to helping her, it changes with the need(s), of course - verbal support, attentiveness; play, care and the occasional massage when we are together, as well as looking for new adventures we can go on to discover new things about the world around us, and about each other.

What things do you look to improve in yourself - your knowledge, practices, refining and expanding your outlook? How do you go about it? How do you help others, especially those close to you (perhaps a partner, close friend, or family member)?

_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.

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RE: Room For Improvement - 5/17/2013 7:55:45 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		everything

We talk and talk some more and encourage each other.

And of course, he orders me to do things whether I like it or not.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to RemoteUser)
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RE: Room For Improvement - 5/18/2013 6:08:12 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		LOL.. pretty much what LW said. I'm always looking for ways to expand/learn/grow for myself and Carol both. For myself I just push myself to do it. For Carol, I push her to do it. Cause... you know... things like "growth" are seldom fun.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: Room For Improvement - 5/18/2013 7:04:17 AM   
lmpishlilhellcat


Posts: 500
Joined: 8/25/2011
Status: offline 		We pretty much do the same. We try to communicate as much as possible. Over the years it's something we've both had to work on. When we started on this journey he would pretend things didn't happen and I would keep things bottled up till I exploded. As time goes on we are learning to communicate more and better with each other. It's been a process and one that we have both had to push each other on.

We are each other's sounding boards. If I've had a bad day and I know I can come home and complain and moan. I also know that he will give me his honest opinion. On most things. He doesn't touch the hair or clothes issue, everything looks fine. If I'm overreacting he will tell me that I am. I try to do the same thing for him.

On a personal front I always try to be better. A better partner, a better listener, a better worker, less reactive.......

_____________________________

Your IQ test results came back negative.

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Room For Improvement - 5/18/2013 7:07:28 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		I am trying to improve so much the list would be to long!!!

Time management.

I am a total pleasure seeker and in the past would put off the unpleasant chores, until it became overwhelming. Now I make lists, and stick with a time limit, allowing myself only so much time on my passions. I am a total computer nut and plant fanatic. I can get lost in these things and time is just gone!

My family and friends benefit from my new schedule, my house benefits, my bills, my anxiety. No end to the benefits really. I am more relaxed and more available for others. Before I was always worrying about rushing to do things I put off, so I never relaxed. Now its all neat and tidy.

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to JeffBC)
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RE: Room For Improvement - 5/18/2013 7:43:20 AM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser

What things do you look to improve in yourself - your knowledge, practices, refining and expanding your outlook? How do you go about it?



This is a quote that has always resonated with me and I think it fits here.

"“Those only are happy (I thought) who have their minds fixed on some object other than their own happiness; on the happiness of others, on the improvement of mankind, even on some art or pursuit, followed not as a means, but as itself an ideal end. Aiming thus at something else, they find happiness by the way." -John Stuart Mill

That is, essentially, how I try to keep growing. I fix my mind on some pursuit, whether it's for myself or for others. I can't imagine a time that I won't be willing to try something new, or that I'll turn away from pursuing something because it's too difficult or I'm too old or whatever other excuses may be out there. Much of my day is just like anyone else's - going to work, cooking, cleaning, running errands. There are ways to incorporate joy into everything, though. And to me, that means keeping myself excited, looking forward to something, trying something, feeling something new. That doesn't have to mean bungee jumping off a bridge or engaging in a whirlwind romance. Even just the simple things - trying a new recipe, picking up a new hobby, tackling a project that I'm not quite sure I can handle. (Aim for what you aspire to do, not what you know you can do.) Then, much like happiness happening when you aren't fixated on making it happen, growth and improvement happen the same way. Through experience.


(in reply to RemoteUser)
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RE: Room For Improvement - 5/18/2013 7:48:23 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko


quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser

What things do you look to improve in yourself - your knowledge, practices, refining and expanding your outlook? How do you go about it?



This is a quote that has always resonated with me and I think it fits here.

"“Those only are happy (I thought) who have their minds fixed on some object other than their own happiness; on the happiness of others, on the improvement of mankind, even on some art or pursuit, followed not as a means, but as itself an ideal end. Aiming thus at something else, they find happiness by the way." -John Stuart Mill

That is, essentially, how I try to keep growing. I fix my mind on some pursuit, whether it's for myself or for others. I can't imagine a time that I won't be willing to try something new, or that I'll turn away from pursuing something because it's too difficult or I'm too old or whatever other excuses may be out there. Much of my day is just like anyone else's - going to work, cooking, cleaning, running errands. There are ways to incorporate joy into everything, though. And to me, that means keeping myself excited, looking forward to something, trying something, feeling something new. That doesn't have to mean bungee jumping off a bridge or engaging in a whirlwind romance. Even just the simple things - trying a new recipe, picking up a new hobby, tackling a project that I'm not quite sure I can handle. (Aim for what you aspire to do, not what you know you can do.) Then, much like happiness happening when you aren't fixated on making it happen, growth and improvement happen the same way. Through experience.




BINGO! Love this post. A good attitude and finding joy in simple things is truly key in happiness. Its such a cliche' saying but its been around for a long time for a reason.

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Room For Improvement - 5/18/2013 7:54:00 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser
Well, there always is.

Speak for yourself!

In seriousness, I try to be a better man. More honorable, calmer, less reactive, more considerate, giving freely of self.
I'd also like to be better at my job, but I'm still kinda in learning mode in a position with a helluva bell curve.
And quitting smoking-OMG yes. I so wanna do that.



_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to RemoteUser)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Room For Improvement - 5/18/2013 8:02:37 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana


quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser
Well, there always is.

Speak for yourself!

In seriousness, I try to be a better man. More honorable, calmer, less reactive, more considerate, giving freely of self.
I'd also like to be better at my job, but I'm still kinda in learning mode in a position with a helluva bell curve.
And quitting smoking-OMG yes. I so wanna do that.



blu electronic cig, has a great throat hit, easy to drawl on, pretty effective.

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Room For Improvement - 5/18/2013 8:08:51 AM   
lilcracker


Posts: 243
Joined: 4/14/2012
Status: offline
quote:

What things do you look to improve in yourself - your knowledge, practices, refining and expanding your outlook? How do you go about it? How do you help others, especially those close to you (perhaps a partner, close friend, or family member)?


Remembering that no one is perfect and never to have that expectation of another. Always always apologize when you are wrong and mean it. Encourage each other, compliment each other, appreciate the small things another one does for you... Keep a positive attitude, look for the good and you will find it...a smile goes a long way...and the number one thing that we both do here in this household is to never let an anger take you to places where you will say things you don't mean...walking away until tempers cool works much better than to stand and verbally take it out on each other.

(in reply to RemoteUser)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Room For Improvement - 5/18/2013 11:09:10 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		Over the years I've become more enlightened about myself and life around me, and the more I learn in that regard, the happier and more at peace I become.

I converse a lot and read a lot, and a couple of friends and I share new discoveries about ourselves and the universe and learn from each other.

I'm really of the "Thoughts become things" mindset, and of the belief that when I focus on the possibilities and goodness in my life, I receive more of it. As I started moving more and more toward this way of thinking, I started meeting more and more people with that shared perspective (it's like they just came out of the blue), and those who are close to me say they have learned from me, as well.

After my emotional crash several years ago, I had to rebuild myself from the ground up (in all ways, really) and the self discovery I experienced was phenomenal. I became a changed person - by my own doing (and the help of others). So, while I don't actively look to "improve", I know that because of who I am, I will always be growing and bettering myself. And the more we grow and evolve, the more our ripple effects help others do the same.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to RemoteUser)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Room For Improvement - 5/19/2013 7:04:49 PM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana


I'd also like to be better at my job, but I'm still kinda in learning mode in a position with a helluva bell curve.


This describes my last nine years of employment.

(I've made so many little changes in the underlying structure of the office that even the terms I've coined are used in almost every office - phrases that made new concepts easy to remember while that curve of mine warmed up.)



_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.


(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Room For Improvement - 5/20/2013 7:02:34 PM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline 		I'm considering waxing my bikini zone.

Considering.

_____________________________

Frosted Flake
simul justus et peccator
Einen Liebhaber, und halten Sie die Schraube

"... evil (and hilarious) !!" Hlen5

(in reply to RemoteUser)
Profile   Post #: 13
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