quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I've seen this as well.

My thoughts have always been either:

1. It is women who have been burned and are still bitter and jaded and trust no man, especially one who calls himself a Dom.

2. A man who calls himself a Dom who thinks he knows better than anyone else and feels his words are just "helpful" aka he feels he has to rescue the poor, little, fragile creatures.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Are you talking real life or online?
Because no one owes you the courtesy of a reply to an email they didn't ask you to send. Or do you send no thank yous to credit card companies offering you new cards?

With that said, there is also the issue of men who have entitlement issues. If you go up to a strange woman at the supermarket to tell her how hot she is, she doesn't owe you a courteous reply for interrupting her. She is more likely to smile and say something in order to get away from you without incident than a woman you're hitting on at a munch or club where she feels there is someone who has her back.

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

well since you were that way in the past, maybe you are still coming off in that way to some? Especially if the advice is unsolicited. Just something to think about.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

I'm certain many people have some base line expectations
when interacting with others.

Expectations which equally apply to those inside or outside
of the lifestyle.

There certain things I have a difficult time dealing with. Just
totally hate and don't tolerate very well.

Now when I say something to a person not in the lifestyle,
it generally is well received and most normal people will
apologize or make a bit of a correction, adjustment or whatever.

When it comes to dealing with sub/slaves, at times it gets totally
discounted with the classic "you're not my Dom/Owner" kind
of attitude with it. This is one of those moments, I wish I
could rip the label off... and go at it as one human being to
another human being.

I can't begin to express the amount of behaviors and things
which fail at basic human decency, with this general attitude
from a number of prospective so labeled sub/slaves.

Yet, they play the "You're not my Dom card" and totally discount
the fact that I'm a human being. It's more like.. OH you're a DOM
I don't have to treat you with this level of respect at all because
you're not my DOM.

It's almost like Dom's are considered to be a second class citizen
compared to a complete stranger on the street, or even a general
acquaintance.

Yes, in some ways this is a bit of a rant. It's also a bit of an
observance. No, not everybody with the sub/slave label behaves
like this (Thank God).

It's just that I've experienced it more times than I care to think
about. I find myself reminding them, that first and foremost that
I AM A HUMAN BEING, above all else.

Anybody else encounter similar situations? I pretty much
deal with this type of attitude with a good Deep Six.

If somebody can't give me basic human respect and decency,
they clearly ain't anybody I want anything to do with. Not if
they are playing the "You're a DOM card" and not looking at me
as a human being.

<end of rant> LOL

quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingreality

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

I'm certain many people have some base line expectations
when interacting with others.

Expectations which equally apply to those inside or outside
of the lifestyle.

There certain things I have a difficult time dealing with. Just
totally hate and don't tolerate very well.

Now when I say something to a person not in the lifestyle,
it generally is well received and most normal people will
apologize or make a bit of a correction, adjustment or whatever.

When it comes to dealing with sub/slaves, at times it gets totally
discounted with the classic "you're not my Dom/Owner" kind
of attitude with it. This is one of those moments, I wish I
could rip the label off... and go at it as one human being to
another human being.

I can't begin to express the amount of behaviors and things
which fail at basic human decency, with this general attitude
from a number of prospective so labeled sub/slaves.

Yet, they play the "You're not my Dom card" and totally discount
the fact that I'm a human being. It's more like.. OH you're a DOM
I don't have to treat you with this level of respect at all because
you're not my DOM.

It's almost like Dom's are considered to be a second class citizen
compared to a complete stranger on the street, or even a general
acquaintance.

Yes, in some ways this is a bit of a rant. It's also a bit of an
observance. No, not everybody with the sub/slave label behaves
like this (Thank God).

It's just that I've experienced it more times than I care to think
about. I find myself reminding them, that first and foremost that
I AM A HUMAN BEING, above all else.

Anybody else encounter similar situations? I pretty much
deal with this type of attitude with a good Deep Six.

If somebody can't give me basic human respect and decency,
they clearly ain't anybody I want anything to do with. Not if
they are playing the "You're a DOM card" and not looking at me
as a human being.

<end of rant> LOL

I'm guessing you won't like my response: But nothing you said resonated with me.

I am simply myself, and pretty much treat everyone the same. In that regard, I don't differentiate between BDSM people and vanilla people. And if I am simply myself and don't come in with expectations for how others should be or act, I find things usually go find.

If you have some expectation of how others will treat you, and you are not getting that time after time after from lots of people -- sorry, the problem is you. If different people, time after time, aren't treating you with "respect," either you have a bad definition of "respect" or you don't deserve any. If people are constantly playing the "You're not my dom card" you are in some way inviting them to play that card probably because you aren't treating them as an equal human being.

Frankly, my guess is you are giving off a vibe of "I'm a dom and I'm better than you," and people are responding, "No you're not." So chill on worrying whether strangers are dom, sub or switches, and meet them as equal human beings, and they'll do the same.

quote:

Yes, in some ways this is a bit of a rant. It's also a bit of an
observance. No, not everybody with the sub/slave label behaves
like this (Thank God).

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

first one.
It's online. They evaded the question because they couldn't answer it. If they can't answer then why ask three times? Just assume they are not who they seem to be and delete.

second example.
They either realized they didn't have enough in common with you or they weren't expecting you to say yes or they just don't take online interaction as seriously as you do. Lots of people say stuff on here one day and then go on their merry way with the rest of their lives such as working, taking care of their families, etc....and not get back online for days or weeks at a time sometimes. They just totally forgot because really, you were just pixels on a screen so they had no reason to remember unless you made QUITE the impression on them.

ETA: I read what you wrote but how YOU think you come across and how others think you come across may be entirely different. Sometimes we don't always see what others see about ourselves.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
That's what I'm thinking as well. Since it was a general, "I'm just trying to be helpful" without any examples (yet bites the OP on the ass often enough for a rant), I'm leaning towards there being something wrong with the approach of the OP.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

You missed the part where I wrote...

Yes, in some ways this is a bit of a rant. It's also a bit of an
observance. No, not everybody with the sub/slave label behaves
like this (Thank God).

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Sorry, your expectations are unrealistic. These are total strangers to you. They don't need to rearrange their lives to talk to a strange guy who wants to get into their pants.

I'm also wondering if they aren't much younger than you. Because to my kids, early 20s, and their friends, this is expected behavior. They view online in a vastly different manner than us older folks who grew up without it do. They don't get upset when people don't show up online.

quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingreality

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

You missed the part where I wrote...

Yes, in some ways this is a bit of a rant. It's also a bit of an
observance. No, not everybody with the sub/slave label behaves
like this (Thank God).

Sorry, dude, I didn't miss that part. I know you won't agree with this, but to me you come off as having grandiose expectations for how people should treat based on you labeling yourself a dom. What you're missing is most subs/slaves don't give a shit that you're a dom until they give him a shit about you as person.

My guess is you are playing the "dom card" a lot and not catching on no one is impressed,