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Jenguin -> BBW within BDSM (5/17/2013 9:23:06 PM)

I apologize in advance if this has been covered, I did a search and only found a post on subspension and being bigger.

Anyways I am a bigger girl I don't like to use curvy because, to name a celeb Jennifer Lopez is curvy, I'm just big AND curvy :-) . I won't go into specifics but some of it is my fault, some of it is not. Regardless I am comfortable with my sexiness and beauty as is my husband in our own lives.

We are just now exploring this lifestyle at my request to wanting to be a defined submissive in and out of the bedroom. It has been suggested we join/ look into the local community.

I am nervous to say the least to explore anything sexual in a public forum simply because I feel uncomfortable being open sexually as a BBW, since I have always been around people/porn/ect that never inflicted anything but physically fit women.

Simply put would I stand out (I hate that) as a BBW at a normal to large fetish/bdsm event?

Thank you in advance for information or experiences.



MissBlueangel -> RE: BBW within BDSM (5/17/2013 9:34:56 PM)

Well every event I have been to people are pretty much fully clothed. and there were people of all shapes and sizes.
You will be fine...Im sure of it :)



SeekingTrinity -> RE: BBW within BDSM (5/17/2013 9:36:43 PM)

I've run the gamut. From 530lbs at one point in my life to the 230lbs Im rocking on my 5'11" frame now. Ive attended fetish events at all stopping points along the way body-wise and any weird vibes about me being there came from my own lack of confidence...not from people I was at the event with. We BBW ladies do stand out, but its not all in a bad way. There are those out there who love ladies with more to them.

My best piece of advice is to own your confidence. And not let what you think the image of BDSM is keep you away from enjoying yourself.



MissBlueangel -> RE: BBW within BDSM (5/17/2013 9:49:20 PM)

I think you hit the nail on the head there....own your confidence...I like it [:)]



sexyred1 -> RE: BBW within BDSM (5/17/2013 9:55:56 PM)

I am sure you will not be surprised that you could search here on the message boards and find hundreds of threads about BBW's or fat chicks.

Everyone has their own preferences in BDSM and in vanilla.

I am sure you will find all shapes and sizes in BDSM, as it is a reflection of people in general; lots of bigger folk in the vanilla world, so lots in BDSM as well, both men and women.

You cannot control anything other than your own perception of yourself and confidence at any size is most attractive.



Jenguin -> RE: BBW within BDSM (5/17/2013 10:30:18 PM)

I apologize I did originally search BBW and for some reason (most likely my own mistake) only one thread appeared, I see now on second search there are many, I apologize in advance for my mistake.



DarkSteven -> RE: BBW within BDSM (5/17/2013 11:56:42 PM)

I just got back from a play party. Three women there were pretty enough that they've made spanking movies. Two others were slender, one of which could have made spanking movies had she so chose. Six or seven were somewhat overweight. One was very overweight. They're all accepted.

That said, you seem to think that at parties, everyone gets nekkid. That's not quite so. I'd estimate that at a typical play party, half the people play and half just watch. The less experienced tend to just watch.



SoulAlloy -> RE: BBW within BDSM (5/18/2013 12:03:19 AM)

As others have said you get a whole gamut of people at events, all shapes and sizes, so in short it's very unlikely you'll be the only one!
(as interesting as porn can be it's not a good model for events or risk awareness)

Explore, have fun, enjoy ;)

oh - and questions, ask! Particularly at munches - most are usually happy to answer



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: BBW within BDSM (5/18/2013 12:05:53 AM)

I've been to both munches and play parties. The women(and men) at both/either came in all shapes & sizes and, at the play parties they were in various stages of undress and none were ever ridiculed for their size. Hey, I'm plus-sized myself and I never noticed any negativity because of it.

NBMG



sinandhoney -> RE: BBW within BDSM (5/18/2013 2:11:58 AM)

I've seen all sizes also at play parties. The bigger women don't seem to have any problems stripping down to nothing. I have never heard any comments other than compliments about them being secure enough in their bodies to do so. I myself have no problem stripping down to my panties. Of course things are not overtly sexual for the most part, depending on the group running things. I wouldn't worry about your size.



garyFLR -> RE: BBW within BDSM (5/19/2013 2:21:55 PM)

Hi Jenguin,

I'm sure you'll be fine! If you're happy & confident within yourself, this will radiate from you, & others will appreciate who you really are. Beauty comes in all shapes & sizes & a Big Beautiful woman gets a lot of attention.

Dive in & enjoy.

Best wishes, Gary.



bamabbwsub -> RE: BBW within BDSM (5/19/2013 2:39:16 PM)

Hi Jenguin,
As a plus-sized gal myself who has played at various dungeons and play parties, I can happily say that one of the reasons that I love the BDSM community is because they are more accepting and less judgmental than most groups. Keep in mind that BDSMers are composed of all types of people who may not fit into the "fold" of mainstream society -- not just BBWs, but gays and lesbians, CDs, trannies, etc. Yes, there will be jerks at some events, but most submissives are expected to demonstrate superior manners, as it reflects upon his or her Dom(me), and the Dom(me)s are typically courteous because the groups don't tolerate assholes very well in general.

Like you, I have some body image issues, but I've gone topless at some of the events, and no one ever batted an eye...well, except for the fact that I have great tits. LOL

Welcome to the community!



HarryVanWinkle -> RE: BBW within BDSM (5/19/2013 3:09:12 PM)

~FR~

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jenguin

I apologize in advance if this has been covered, I did a search and only found a post on subspension and being bigger.

Anyways I am a bigger girl I don't like to use curvy because, to name a celeb Jennifer Lopez is curvy, I'm just big AND curvy :-) . I won't go into specifics but some of it is my fault, some of it is not. Regardless I am comfortable with my sexiness and beauty as is my husband in our own lives.

We are just now exploring this lifestyle at my request to wanting to be a defined submissive in and out of the bedroom. It has been suggested we join/ look into the local community.

I am nervous to say the least to explore anything sexual in a public forum simply because I feel uncomfortable being open sexually as a BBW, since I have always been around people/porn/ect that never inflicted anything but physically fit women.

Simply put would I stand out (I hate that) as a BBW at a normal to large fetish/bdsm event?

Thank you in advance for information or experiences.


First off, next time you're out and about look at people. Just people, count how many walk past a particular spot. Count how many of them look like they could possibly be porn stars. Count how many look like just plain people like you and me. You'll find that the VAST majority of the people are in the latter category, not the former.

In the BDSM community, you'll find the same ratio of people, people who look like regular people, like you and me, not like they could be porn stars.

Second, at no BDSM event that I've ever been to, and I've been to quite a few of them, is anybody required or pressured to "explore anything sexual". "Consent" means that you do only what you want to do and ALWAYS have the right to say no. Many people go to such events, even play parties, just to socialize and watch, especially when they're new. Some never do anything but that, and they're still perfectly welcome.

The majority of Americans are not, umm, in porn star shape. The majority of t people at BDSM events fit the same profile. In no way would you "stand out" due to your size.



njlauren -> RE: BBW within BDSM (5/19/2013 4:07:59 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Jenguin

I apologize in advance if this has been covered, I did a search and only found a post on subspension and being bigger.

Anyways I am a bigger girl I don't like to use curvy because, to name a celeb Jennifer Lopez is curvy, I'm just big AND curvy :-) . I won't go into specifics but some of it is my fault, some of it is not. Regardless I am comfortable with my sexiness and beauty as is my husband in our own lives.

We are just now exploring this lifestyle at my request to wanting to be a defined submissive in and out of the bedroom. It has been suggested we join/ look into the local community.

I am nervous to say the least to explore anything sexual in a public forum simply because I feel uncomfortable being open sexually as a BBW, since I have always been around people/porn/ect that never inflicted anything but physically fit women.

Simply put would I stand out (I hate that) as a BBW at a normal to large fetish/bdsm event?

Thank you in advance for information or experiences.

I can't speak for all people, but having been active in public space in the past, been in the community a while, the BD/SM community tends to range the gamut of body types, in the men and women, and I never saw it as a big deal, or people being catty or nasty about it. My view of it (and that is all that is, my view) is that there seems to be less focus on body size and so forth in the BD/SM world, I saw a lot of BBW/Plus size women (and a plus size whatever I am these days!) who weren't afraid to be playing in the nude in public space (if allowed), or wearing tight fetish clothing and such, there just seems to me a lot more openness in this world.

That said, I am sure there are 'beautiful people' who look down on others, there are people I ran into who wore these incredible fetish outfits, and looked down on those who didn't *shrug*, but I never got the sense they were mainstream.A lot of the more famous leather people I met in the community were not in the size 4/hardbody abs world of things, to give you an idea.




tsatske -> RE: BBW within BDSM (5/19/2013 4:33:32 PM)

A lot of years ago, I lived in another state with my Master at that time. We ran a munch, but often went to other munches. On one occasion, when driving up to a restaurant we had never been to to attend a munch where we knew no one, we saw that the restaurant was large, with lots of little rooms, and we didn't know where the group would be. My overweight Master said to his very overweight sub, 'we'll just walk around till we find a group of people who look like us.'

A munch is really not very scary. If you don't know anyone yet, I can see that going to a party might be a little daunting, but go to some munches, and by the time you get invited to a party, you'll know a few people. A munch takes place in a public restaurant, people wear street appropriate clothes. It is not a pick up site, though of course people meet. People do talk about kink, but they talk about the world at large as well. You will find it an easy environment to become comfortable in. Enjoy yourself.



garyFLR -> RE: BBW within BDSM (5/20/2013 12:54:54 AM)

Agree totally with what BamaBBWsub has written [:)].



garyFLR -> RE: BBW within BDSM (5/20/2013 12:59:50 AM)

'The majority of Americans are not in, um, porn star shape'.

Not just Americans Mr VanWinkle [:)][:)].



kalikshama -> RE: BBW within BDSM (5/20/2013 1:47:01 PM)

quote:

The majority of Americans are not, umm, in porn star shape. The majority of people at BDSM events fit the same profile. In no way would you "stand out" due to your size.


The South Florida swing club crowd less diplomatically refers to FetLife as FatLife.

OP - I'm not crazy about the phrase BBW so call myself "pleasantly plump."



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: BBW within BDSM (5/20/2013 4:13:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jenguin
Regardless I am comfortable with my sexiness and beauty as is my husband in our own lives.
Good for you, and your family.
quote:

We are just now exploring this lifestyle at my request to wanting to be a defined submissive in and out of the bedroom. It has been suggested we join/ look into the local community.

I am nervous to say the least to explore anything sexual in a public forum simply because I feel uncomfortable being open sexually as a BBW, since I have always been around people/porn/ect that never inflicted anything but physically fit women.

Simply put would I stand out (I hate that) as a BBW at a normal to large fetish/bdsm event?
No, you wouldn't stand out at all, im my opinion, and experience. My experience has been that people aren't (generally speaking), so divisive or picky about exact height and weight at munches, or BDSM parties/events. My experience is that they tend to be friendly, and no one seems to take special notice people who look different in any way.

I hope you will go, enjoy yourself, and come tell us about it. M



descrite -> RE: BBW within BDSM (5/20/2013 8:50:02 PM)

The Scene is chock-full of big gals. It's kind of like RenFaire that way.


I do recall that thread where the OP went on a tirade about this site, and how he "knocked back a few fatties" soon after joining.

I do recall the great fun other posters had at interpreting that line in so very many ways.

Welcome to the Scene. Enjoy it. Nothing should hold you back from doing so.



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