RE: BDSM and dealing with family

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RE: BDSM and dealing with family - 5/23/2013 2:24:19 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hlen5

I read that as the brother threatening to tell his Mom about the kink. Which is it, Charles??

"My mother is actually very supportive of who I am. Her attitude is whatever makes her son happy. She has even suggested to me before that I should find a Mistress, since it seems that is what makes me happy."

I read it different given that Charles also wrote the above. He appears to be out .. so that threat, at best, would be an empty one and Charles seems pretty level headed to let an empty threat upset him. I could certainly be wrong though! Wouldn't be the first time, that's for sure.

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RE: BDSM and dealing with family - 5/23/2013 3:40:57 PM

MsEloquence

Posts: 72
Joined: 5/7/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Set limits. If you only meet at your parents, tell your parents that if they allow him to do this to you in their home, that you'll leave. Tell him that you have no interest in interacting with a bigot and you will not stay to be abused. Make it clear to your parents that as they're not telling him not to do this, that they're choosing him over you.

If you met privately, don't do that any more. Hang up if he calls you and starts this.

The most important thing here is to use the same phrase every time. "I refuse to stay here and be insulted. When and if I am treated with respect I will stay". Then get up and leave or hang up the phone. It has to be the exact same words every time or they don't get it through their heads. So pick a phrase, write it down and memorize it.

Most importantly, remember that you are not submissive to him. Stop acting that way.

Really good points

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RE: BDSM and dealing with family - 5/23/2013 3:45:38 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hlen5
I read that as the brother threatening to tell his Mom about the kink. Which is it, Charles??

Since the OP said "My mother is actually very supportive of who I am. Her attitude is whatever makes her son happy. She has even suggested to me before that I should find a Mistress, since it seems that is what makes me happy," it sure sounds like she already knows about his kink

luci

*Doh! And now I've seen page 2 and BitaTruble already said this

< Message edited by slaveluci -- 5/23/2013 3:48:15 PM >

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RE: BDSM and dealing with family - 5/23/2013 5:46:40 PM

ThundersCry54

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Joined: 5/6/2013
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My family doesn`t know about what I do in this area of my life. Some of my kids know I`m a little twisted and thats all they need to know. Why tramatize them with visuals. -L-

Though I do kinda worry when I kick the bucket and they run acorss my play bags whats going to run thru thier heads. Need to talk to one son and tell him, here...these bags haul to the dump and don`t open them! Pfffftttt...some will be fighting for some of the stuff!

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RE: BDSM and dealing with family - 5/23/2013 7:35:47 PM

Charles6682

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1 of the dumbest comments he said was that guys like me(submissive males),make it hard for "guys" like him to get laid with women.His rational is that because guys like me submit to women and treat women with respect,that now these "Ladies" are expecting and demanding to be treated like a Goddess by every guy now.It goes against what him and his buddies believe in,which is "bro's before hoe's" ,according to them.The best he can hope for are quick one night stands because long term relationships with women are certainly not his strong point.

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RE: BDSM and dealing with family - 5/23/2013 7:50:37 PM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
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"However,its not that easy for me because he is,after all,my brother.Although personality wise,if he wasn't my brother,I would never have anything to do with someone like that otherwise. "

I'm not seeing the problem, just do the same thing as if he didn't have a few more genes in common with you than other people do. Refuse to reply to him when he gets rude or just don't ever be in the same room as him again, don't answer calls, etc. Easy-peasy.

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RE: BDSM and dealing with family - 5/23/2013 7:53:23 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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You can do like I did.

I haven't talked to my youngest sister in over 15 years now due to her conniving ways and bad attitude.

When I go back home to visit and she's there, I go in another room until she leaves. If I know she's going to be somewhere, I don't go. If I am going somewhere with my family and they stop to see her, I stay in the car. I don't talk to her. I don't see her. It's not worth it...family or not.

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RE: BDSM and dealing with family - 5/24/2013 1:01:43 PM

hlen5

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Joined: 3/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: hlen5

I read that as the brother threatening to tell his Mom about the kink. Which is it, Charles??

"My mother is actually very supportive of who I am. Her attitude is whatever makes her son happy. She has even suggested to me before that I should find a Mistress, since it seems that is what makes me happy."

I read it different given that Charles also wrote the above. He appears to be out .. so that threat, at best, would be an empty one and Charles seems pretty level headed to let an empty threat upset him. I could certainly be wrong though! Wouldn't be the first time, that's for sure.

I had read that, but I couldn't imagine Charles would do nothing about his Mom being physically threatened. It did not compute. With Charles quoting his brother's "bro's before hoes" comment, maybe his brother would actually threaten his Mom. It upgrades his brother to card-carrying asshole status for sure!

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RE: BDSM and dealing with family - 5/24/2013 2:31:33 PM

Charles6682

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From: Saint Pete,FL
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My mother is very supportive of who I am.I have been very lucky there.My mother is a strong Lady and I did learn a lot about respect from her.She was a single mother raising 2 boys,working full time jobs to make sure my brother and I had a good chance at life.I actually consider my mom my friend.Thats right.I'm not a "mama's boys",but I do have respect for my mother for all she's been through and the fact she is still there as a reliable support system,does mean a lot.

< Message edited by Charles6682 -- 5/24/2013 2:32:14 PM >

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