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luvndsindycpl -> Slaves (5/25/2013 1:06:53 AM)

why is it so hard to find male, female ,cpl that are real slaves that are true to what they are??



LafayetteLady -> RE: Slaves (5/25/2013 1:12:44 AM)

Finding a third is often called "looking for a unicorn." Not a great deal of people care to join a poly household such as yours, and the search can be quite a long one.

I would, however, suggest you remove your "mini-rant" about game players, wannabes, etc. Even your post here has negativity in it. That is never an attractive quality and since the pool of people you are searching for is small to begin with, turning them off immediately is never a good idea. You would be wise to remember that just because the people you speak with aren't high protocol like you, doesn't mean they are not "true" slaves. It means they simply aren't compatible with you.




DarkSteven -> RE: Slaves (5/25/2013 1:23:14 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: luvndsindycpl

why is it so hard to find male, female ,cpl that are real slaves that are true to what they are??


I looked at your profile and really have no idea what you're looking for. You don't define what your slave would be doing, Sex, play, housework - what do you wish the slave to do?

There's a lot of competition, and those who communicate clearly what they want will have a better chance.

How are you looking? Online only, at events, how?



tazzygirl -> RE: Slaves (5/25/2013 1:34:51 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: luvndsindycpl

why is it so hard to find male, female ,cpl that are real slaves that are true to what they are??



For myself..... I have issues with slaves owning other people. You state you are also looking for dommes. You expect, as a slave, to dominate a domme? Im curious how that works.

I never could work my mind around that one.



TieMeInKnottss -> RE: Slaves (5/25/2013 3:46:38 AM)

I don't find your profile as ambiguous as the others do, but I do find it is short on details. Fill out a little more about what you are looking for and more about your "non-kink" life. One thing that seekers seem to miss, especially about slaves, they ARE still people. We may not assert our wills or prioritize our wants but that does not mean that we do not value ourselves. We are still responsible for our own safety and security..especially an unowned slave. We still have minds that must be utilized so that they don't atrophy.

Also, the reality is that you are searching for a unicorn.. You will not get a lot of sympathy here because many have been searching online and R/T for the same thing for a much longer time..



Charles6682 -> RE: Slaves (5/25/2013 3:51:23 AM)

I have read a lot of threads from subs/slaves saying how hard it is to find Dommes but I rarely read Dommes having a hard time finding slaves.



angelikaJ -> RE: Slaves (5/25/2013 4:42:13 AM)

Part of your issue may be the conceptual ideas of "true" and real".

Just because a slave might have had a different background, or experiences different from your definition does not mean they aren't true or real.
Relationships are defined by the people in them.

Instead of looking for true and real, I would look for compatible interests, apart from your roles.
Paring compatible interests with willingness will probably get you closer to what you seek.

I think also, that very few female slaves want to come into a situation as less than: a "beta slave."
Who wants to be a lesser citizen w/i a home, when they can have their own dominant partner?

Declaring one party is an Alpha slave often sounds like that person has issues of insecurity and possessiveness.

IMOHO, your profile has a hostile feel.



Killerangel -> RE: Slaves (5/25/2013 5:02:34 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: luvndsindycpl

why is it so hard to find male, female ,cpl that are real slaves that are true to what they are??


This is a sweeping generalization and I feel compelled to make it anyway....anytime I see people asking why it's so hard to find a whatever, it usually seems to be because they're putting forth a substandard effort to find it.



njlauren -> RE: Slaves (5/25/2013 5:06:51 AM)

I couldn't quite understand what you are looking for, but trying to find someone to join an existing setup is difficult, because it is expecting someone to come into dynamics that may or not reflect themselves and their needs. An existing dynamic has its own rules and culture, and finding someone to have a fit with that is like looking for a custom suit at a cheap clothing store, isn't going to happen....

I definitely think you need to clean up your profile, make it clearer, and drop the attitude. Yeah, I understand the frustration, the wankers, the idiots, those not understanding, but that is part of the game I am afraid. Among other things, that negativity is going to turn off people who might be curious, have some experience, but get intimidated by someone coming off as these seriously lifestyle people who expect total obedience, etc from the get go.

I have a suggestion that may work (may not)....maybe try and find someone where it isn't so heavily lifestyle, maybe advertise for someone who may be looking for what you want, start small, and state with the goal of it potentially becoming a position in the household.....which would allow the person to feel like it is okay for them to learn, to see if it is for them, and also allow the relationship to form naturally. To find someone off the shelf who fits what you want is difficult, on top of the fact that a lot of the people into BD/SM as subs just aren't into it that deeply, the other factor is relationships on that deep a level are kind of personalized, and to find someone ready fit for what you want is difficult, because it involves many parameters,hence my thought of 'growing' into such a relationship with someone.



Rasciallymisty -> RE: Slaves (5/25/2013 5:43:27 AM)

You have been given some great advice hopefully you will come back and take some of it. Good luck in the unicorn search.


misty



ResidentSadist -> RE: Slaves (5/25/2013 6:26:48 AM)

Just a first impression from your profile and photos tells us you smoke, you have WalMart patio furniture, you talk about "wannabes" and the things you don't want but do not define what you do want or what is expected. You also come off like you feel you have found the one true way with your "10 years experience" and others "have gotten away from that and are only into the kink" which seems like you are against kink.

So there you have it. You come off as pro family and anti kinky sex . . . sorta' like you want to start a religious cult isntead of have a nice fun casual date and see if you are compatible with someone. Who would want to marry into your cult family when then can go have a good time with someone else?

Lighten up a bit, and sell one clear aspect like are you Dom/sub or Dom/dom or simply say Dom/switch instead of that ball of anti kink confusion you currently present. Tell us the type of person you want and what you offer in the short term that is inviting and fun, no one wants to sign their life away on the first date. Catch more flies with honey than vinegar they say.

BTW, Jive talk from an older white couple saying, "hit us up" also limits your appeal.

Hope that helps clear it up for ya'.



FrostedFlake -> RE: Slaves (5/25/2013 10:35:49 AM)

Try Wallmart.



MalcolmNathaniel -> RE: Slaves (5/27/2013 3:32:12 AM)

Be vewwy, vewwy quiet; I'm hunting unicorns.



ResidentSadist -> RE: Slaves (5/28/2013 1:16:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FrostedFlake
Try Wallmart.

or . . .

[img]http://residentsadist.com/pics/slavemart.jpg[/img]



TNDommeK -> RE: Slaves (5/28/2013 4:47:59 PM)

Oh my.
I....um, good luck to you guys.




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