idle pondering

idle pondering (Full Version)

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LDVixen -> idle pondering (5/26/2013 5:01:04 PM)
I am not a newbie to the scene, have over 20 years of experience in it. I am bemused by the dating/meet up scenarios that have been proposed. Everything from meeting for coffee to going from coffee straight to sex. Sex? The second time we meet, after 45 minutes of chat over coffee? That isn't happening. Try, next step is going to a play party if there is chemistry. I had a hypnotist "put me under via phone", we had never met, I was curious so I faked going under. While under I was told I was now his slave and must obey only him. I quite readily agreed and parroted his words as ordered. When I hung up the phone, I checked his phone number, finding his name. I went to the sex offenders website. Guess what? There he was. That was worrisome to say the least. I faked because two minutes into the conversation, my bs meter went off. Very creepy person. The men who are told I live without privacy in the evenings but still think I will have phone sex with them. I have a basic rule. I will cam or phone chat if I have privacy, BUT if we have not met, and do not have a relationship first, I do not intend to meet. Ever. It occasionally turns me on to submit via cam or phone to a stranger. It might even be done a few times with the same person if he has a killer voice. (I am picky about voices, but those that do it for me... num) Nope, no real question in this post, no answers either. I am going to start going to more parties. I haven't tried the local munches, went to a few where I used to live. I know what I want, but haven't had much time to pursue looking as actively as I should be. I do know a quickie is not on my ideal menu.

OsideGirl -> RE: idle pondering (5/26/2013 5:07:56 PM)
The Los Angeles / Orange County area has a an immense number of events ranging from socials, discussion groups, demos to full on BDSM clubs. As for the rest, the BDSM D/s community is a slice of society. So, there will be jerks, assholes and predators, just like in the vanilla world.

tsatske -> RE: idle pondering (5/26/2013 5:13:52 PM)
My profile is clear: I don't own a webcam (there's actually one built into my laptop but I haven't bothered to learn how to use it), don't have a chat client, don't have virtual sex of any kind - phone, webcam or chat - ever. It even goes so far as to point out that I will not have websex disguised as conversation - a series of sexual questions intended to give you wank fodder will go unanswered. I have no interest in that kind of thing. I will answer a few questions about sexual and kinky interest, if we are also talking lots about non-sexual interests. Everytime I write I generally include a question to get to know someone better. If I get short, formulaic answers (or no answers) while they quickly get back to their only interest and ask me another sexual question - I quit writing them. I have lots of privacy, I live alone - still not gonna cyber with you. or anyone. Most guys make it clear that they are only after sex before we get to the coffee, so we can just skip it. One of my objections (one of many) to LDR is that even a good guy may think that driving an hour or two is not worth it if there's not sex at the end of the rainbow. Even more so if they fly in and get a room. (I don't host). And I don't have sex, or play, on a first date. I just don't. So, not gonna happen.

DesFIP -> RE: idle pondering (5/27/2013 8:07:36 AM)
You said that unless you've already met you won't meet them. That's confusing. We met on a different site. Started emailing through the site's email. Eventually moved to chat. The important thing is that the conversations weren't just sex/play. They included everything going on in our lives. We became friends. At that point we met. Had there been no chemistry, we would still have been friends. And that's important to me. YMMV

TheLilSquaw -> RE: idle pondering (5/27/2013 8:14:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LDVixen I will cam or phone chat if I have privacy, BUT if we have not met, and do not have a relationship first, I do not intend to meet. Wait you wont meet someone you don't have a relationship first, but will get on cam or have phone sex with a perfect stranger? You do realize that both neither the phone or webcam insure that what happens there stays private right?

ResidentSadist -> RE: idle pondering (5/27/2013 8:33:22 AM)
Are you are so hung up about being a whore, you had to make a thread saying you don't fuck on the first date? Jesus, you take the cake. You say you're single and seeking. But you have partner, you just don't live with your partner. You also slut it up on cam and have phone sex. Really, you have a steady real life partner, you have phone sex and cam partners . . . why not just say you're poly . . . or a slut? Why publish a "I do not fuck until the 3rd date thread?" Are you having hang ups about your whorish self image because you are having phone sex with sex offenders? Just saying there is a lot of mixed messages in your post and profile.

littlewonder -> RE: idle pondering (5/27/2013 8:40:35 AM)
I just find it funny that she won't fuck on a first date but has no qualms showing all her goodies on webcam. What the hell is the difference other than getting a disease?

TheLilSquaw -> RE: idle pondering (5/27/2013 8:46:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist You say you're single and seeking. But you have partner, you just don't live with your partner. You also slut it up on cam and have phone sex. Really, you have a steady real life partner, you have phone sex and cam partners . . . why not just say you're poly . . . or a slut? Why publish a "I do not fuck until the 3rd date thread?" I actually went and read her profile after you posted. This my take on it. She is single, not collared or in an exclusive relationship but that she does have a "friend w/ benefits play partner" and is not looking for another casual relationship but is looking to be owned. I admit, the bit about only getting on cam if she has a relationship doesn't exactly line up with what she posted in her OP.

LDVixen -> RE: idle pondering (5/27/2013 1:35:21 PM)
I am aware that phone and cam aren't private, and I don't do either often. As for the insults regarding my being a slut, everyone has opinions, assumptions and comments and are entitled to them I live with myself, I know who I am, what I do or don't do, and in the end, whomever I end up serving will hold the deciding opinion on if my behavior is correct or faulty. I posted out of boredom, wondering if perhaps I was indeed the only submissive on here prudish enough to think being told I was expected to fuck after meeting for coffee waz wrong. I find instead that I am apparently an unrepentant slut because I have turned my web cam on a handful of times over the years. chuckles

TheLilSquaw -> RE: idle pondering (5/27/2013 1:39:52 PM)
LDVixen, I am assuming that was a fast reply since I NEVER called you a slut or anything else for that matter.

LDVixen -> RE: idle pondering (5/27/2013 1:56:39 PM)
Yes, LilSquaw, it was a fast reply. My apologies for the confusion.

RedMagic1 -> RE: idle pondering (5/27/2013 2:27:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LDVixen I posted out of boredom, wondering if perhaps I was indeed the only submissive on here prudish enough to think being told I was expected to fuck after meeting for coffee waz wrong. I find instead that I am apparently an unrepentant slut because I have turned my web cam on a handful of times over the years. chuckles What you've done is not too relevant. How you come across to potential partners is what matters, given your complaint about what men expect when they meet you. Unless you don't care about the kinds of men you attract. If a male dom with a lot of experience on CM (and real life) got that impression from your profile, and thought it didn't jibe with your OP, then perhaps you're contradicting yourself.

TheLilSquaw -> RE: idle pondering (5/27/2013 2:30:30 PM)
Wow. Before the OP replied back to me it showed a post from a woman. I typed a reply then it said, you can not reply to this post(or something of that sort) and the post was gone. The woman's nick started with an "A". WTF? Lol

RedMagic1 -> RE: idle pondering (5/27/2013 2:33:11 PM)
If a mod pulled it, quick like a bunny, then you wouldn't be able to reply to it any more.

TheLilSquaw -> RE: idle pondering (5/27/2013 2:34:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 If a mod pulled it, quick like a bunny, then you wouldn't be able to reply to it any more. Well dang! Remind me not to challenge the mods to a duel. hehehe ETA: Thanks for a moment I thought I was going wacky.

littlewonder -> RE: idle pondering (5/27/2013 6:30:30 PM)
I'm betting these same men have read that you webcam and this alone is enough for them to assume you are a slut and so you won't have any problem whatsoever fucking on the first date. I would assume the same thing if I knew some guy webcammed, even if it was a few times a year. I mean really, what's the difference between webcamming with a complete stranger and fucking on a first date with a complete stranger?

TheLilSquaw -> RE: idle pondering (5/27/2013 7:11:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder I mean really, what's the difference between webcamming with a complete stranger and fucking on a first date with a complete stranger? Less chance of getting an STD? Hell, you might evens save yourself a few bucks in cab fair. Lol

LDVixen -> RE: idle pondering (5/27/2013 8:19:27 PM)
No STDs, no dealing with pregnancy, I am guaranteed an orgasm. No danger the guy doesn't stop if I say stop. There are men who know the difference between real and fantasy. Anyone I have gone on cam with has exchanged more than a few emails, but tbey are still strangers. They have no intention of wishing to meet in person, their kink is on line. What we do or do not do while the cam is on is between two consenting adults. It is what works at times to fulfil a need. If I am a slut due to watching a man jack off because I find the man attractive, then I am a slut. My being a slut doesn't make me lower than any ofthe rest of you. Those who know me know the nuances that cannot be explained in a post. Thank you lilsquaw for at least trying to see my point.

SeverinVim -> RE: idle pondering (5/27/2013 8:25:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder I mean really, what's the difference between webcamming with a complete stranger and fucking on a first date with a complete stranger? Less chance of getting an STD? Hell, you might evens save yourself a few bucks in cab fair. Lol That is so funny...lol... If that is true, then Chat Roulette must be the online equivalent of a gigantic circle jerk, right? Wait...on second thought...nevermind! LOL

littlewonder -> RE: idle pondering (5/27/2013 8:49:48 PM)
Yes you won't catch an STD but that's about it. People can still do bad things to you online such as posting your vids all over the internet, spreading rumors about you, tracking you down to where you live, finding out your real name, etc.....so imo, it's not any different whatsoever other than the std thing. You're still having sex with a complete stranger. I would just think that if I was talking to some guy online and he said he likes to webcam with strangers then I would think he's not looking for anything serious. He doesn't want a relationship. He just wants casual sex which is fine, but not what I would be looking for. I just would not take him seriously at all. As for the guaranteed orgasm...I suppose. It doesn't work that way for me so I really have no idea.

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