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Respect within the community - 6/25/2006 5:22:35 PM

Mistressinwis

Posts: 3
Joined: 6/25/2006
Status: offline

The internet has become the greatest tool of the centry for making the world a smaller place and meeting people from all walks of life. Unfortunatly, as with every good thing, there are bad things that go with it. The internet has also given anonymity. Which in turn, has fostered disrespect, rudeness, and socially unacceptable behavior. Because of the anonymous nature of the internet, there is no social consequences, as there are in real life situations. Also, there is no way to really "punish" a person that abuses others in a forum such as Collarme. As with any social setting, I would like to invite users of this website to activly email the webmasters of any disrespectful, or nasty emails you do get, so they have the opportunity to take steps to keep this community free from falling victim to the users that are less than desirable.

I have had numerous nasty emails from males, in fact that is one reason i abandoned my first user account and started another. I have not had this user account for more than a few hours, and got a very disrespectful and rude email.

I invite the moderators of this site to make a clear and easy way for users to report nasty emails.

Mistress A

Post #: 1

RE: Respect within the community - 6/25/2006 5:25:29 PM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

There are ways to punish them; being put on moderation, or being banned. You can always ignore the idiots.

(in reply to Mistressinwis)

Post #: 2

RE: Respect within the community - 6/25/2006 5:38:00 PM

Mistressinwis

Posts: 3
Joined: 6/25/2006
Status: offline

Ignoring bad behavior is how Hitler got most of Europe. As a Dominant, it's up to us to keep order within our community. I don't know what your real life BDSM community is like, but the one I belong to is very old school. slaves and subs speak only when spoken to, and very little or no direct eye contact. As to the rest, I will let you use your imagination. So you can understand my distress when a male that calls himself a slave has the audacity to dare speak to me in anything other than complete respect. I refuse to "turn the other cheek" in that instance.

Of course, I am always free to move on. I have had no luck finding any "real" female subs on this website. I thought this would be the perfect atmosphere, safe, annonymous. But all I have met are internet players. I admit to getting frustrated, and having to deal with disrespect adds insult to injury.

(in reply to Level)

Post #: 3

RE: Respect within the community - 6/25/2006 5:43:30 PM

reticence

Posts: 180
Joined: 2/28/2006
Status: offline

With all due respect, while i will agree that the anonymity of the Internet lends itself to much bolder behavior than might be demonstrated in real life, it also has a built in safety device... the block button, or in extreme cases, the Off button of your computer. In a real life situation it is not nearly as easy to rid oneself of pests.

(in reply to Mistressinwis)

Post #: 4

RE: Respect within the community - 6/25/2006 5:53:25 PM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mistressinwis

Ignoring bad behavior is how Hitler got most of Europe.

This is like comparing apples to atom bombs.

As a Dominant, it's up to us to keep order within our community. I don't know what your real life BDSM community is like, but the one I belong to is very old school.

Mine is comprised of normal people. One or two rattle on about the "old ways", generally, I ignore them.

....slaves and subs speak only when spoken to, and very little or no direct eye contact. As to the rest, I will let you use your imagination. So you can understand my distress when a male that calls himself a slave has the audacity to dare speak to me in anything other than complete respect. I refuse to "turn the other cheek" in that instance.

Well, different strokes for different folks, but I'd hate to be part of such a group. Submissives should speak, unless their dominant tells them otherwise. Respect is a good thing, I'll agree there.

Of course, I am always free to move on. I have had no luck finding any "real" female subs on this website. I thought this would be the perfect atmosphere, safe, annonymous. But all I have met are internet players. I admit to getting frustrated, and having to deal with disrespect adds insult to injury.

"Safe"? How is this site NOT safe?

(in reply to Mistressinwis)

Post #: 5

RE: Respect within the community - 6/25/2006 5:57:59 PM

maybemaybenot

Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline

I don't really think the webmasters would be happy if every member of CM wrote them with each undesirable email recieved.
It's no different here than anywhere else on the web. There are jerks and idiots everywhere. One persons jerk, may be another persons jewel. That's just how it is. Not much is going to change it.
As is often said.... Block and delete are your friends. Then forget about it. Take who and what you like and leave the rest.

Welcome back !
mbmbn

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

(in reply to reticence)

Post #: 6

RE: Respect within the community - 6/25/2006 6:00:26 PM

Wulfchyld

Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mistressinwis

Of course, I am always free to move on. I have had no luck finding any "real" female subs on this website.

Oh boy!

Thank you all for joining me for the first installment of Loki predicts.

Loki predicts this thread will run 4 pages before she leaves.

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together

(in reply to Mistressinwis)

Post #: 7

RE: Respect within the community - 6/25/2006 6:04:11 PM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

This is gonna be a good one folks.
Ordering the wings and putting beers on ice.

(in reply to Wulfchyld)

Post #: 8

RE: Respect within the community - 6/25/2006 6:16:28 PM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

First, I don't see any clear connection between rude people and Hitler taking over. Overstatements like that devalues any point you are going to make.

Second, it sounds as if you have a bad case of "top's disease" if you think dominant have any authority or duties outside of the consensual relationship they have entered into. It would be more in touch with reality if you left role out of general public responsibility.

Finally, why should anyone need to speak to you with "complete respect?" Courtesy is valued, but respect is earned. It does not come attached to declaring oneself a dominant.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to Mistressinwis)

Post #: 9

RE: Respect within the community - 6/25/2006 6:22:41 PM

fullofgrace

Posts: 395
Joined: 3/24/2006
From: fl, usa
Status: offline

i personally don't think any submissive or slave should have to show anything more than general courtesy or respect to anyone other than their dominant and who he or she chooses. PARTICULARLY in an online setting where said dominant who is demanding MORE than that general courtesy and respect may simply be someone putting up a facade for whatever reason.

now, the fact that the internet is a hive of disrespect and rudeness is simply a fact of life - anywhere. collarme is not like an offline community. it is, in fact, an online message board,a nd like most online message boards, it has a lot of rude idiots. online communities will never TRULY be able to mimic the respect boundaries of offline communities of any sort, simply because of the medium. if you don't like it, then either deal with it or spend your time in offline communities. it's a matter of weighing the pros and cons. sitting here whining about the limitations of the internet - including dealing with rude assholes - is simply banging your head against a wall.

_____________________________

i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 10

RE: Respect within the community - 6/25/2006 6:40:12 PM

brightspot

Posts: 3052
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mistressinwis

The internet has become the greatest tool of the centry for making the world a smaller place and meeting people from all walks of life. Unfortunatly, as with every good thing, there are bad things that go with it. The internet has also given anonymity. Which in turn, has fostered disrespect, rudeness, and socially unacceptable behavior. Because of the anonymous nature of the internet, there is no social consequences, as there are in real life situations. Also, there is no way to really "punish" a person that abuses others in a forum such as Collarme. As with any social setting, I would like to invite users of this website to activly email the webmasters of any disrespectful, or nasty emails you do get, so they have the opportunity to take steps to keep this community free from falling victim to the users that are less than desirable.

I have had numerous nasty emails from males, in fact that is one reason i abandoned my first user account and started another. I have not had this user account for more than a few hours, and got a very disrespectful and rude email.

I invite the moderators of this site to make a clear and easy way for users to report nasty emails.

Mistress A

The only submissive or slave you have the right to demand respect from is the ones you are a Domina to.
Other than that you have no power here.
Especially to waltz in and tell people what they ought to do, even the Mods, Sheesh! And who the hell are you to say any user here is less than desirable, that is only your personal opinion and because of a "nasty" e-mail.

When you belong to a community like CM over a period of time you become known to the others here and them to you. I have found although the regular posters here sometimes agree and at other times disagree. At times things get heated and things get said but just like in any other "family" there are discussions, debates, sometimes even arguments but that doesn't mean we tenaciously disrespect each other and hold onto the anger.

You come in here and in your second post you start laying out demands. Who the phuck cares if you identify as a Dominant, you are not my Domina so I could care less about the "distress" you are feeling over an e-mail from a stranger. Use the block button as suggested. If you think you have special powers over all the submissives and slaves here just because you call yourself a Dominant, your delusional and I would advise you to stick to your own "old school" because that chit usually doesn't go over too well here.

Watch out because someone may just drop a house on you!

*Brightspot

< Message edited by brightspot -- 6/25/2006 6:43:32 PM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to Mistressinwis)

Post #: 11

RE: Respect within the community - 6/25/2006 6:54:59 PM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mistressinwis

The internet has become the greatest tool of the centry for making the world a smaller place and meeting people from all walks of life. Unfortunatly, as with every good thing, there are bad things that go with it. The internet has also given anonymity. Which in turn, has fostered disrespect, rudeness, and socially unacceptable behavior. Because of the anonymous nature of the internet, there is no social consequences, as there are in real life situations. Also, there is no way to really "punish" a person that abuses others in a forum such as Collarme. As with any social setting, I would like to invite users of this website to activly email the webmasters of any disrespectful, or nasty emails you do get, so they have the opportunity to take steps to keep this community free from falling victim to the users that are less than desirable.

I have had numerous nasty emails from males, in fact that is one reason i abandoned my first user account and started another. I have not had this user account for more than a few hours, and got a very disrespectful and rude email.

I invite the moderators of this site to make a clear and easy way for users to report nasty emails.

Mistress A

Collarme has given you two methods of controlling your email account. One is the delete button and one is the block button. You may, at your whim, utilize one, both or neither. What you do is up to you. It is, however, not up to the Mods to moderate your email account.

As to your ridiculous demands for respect other than common courtesy by those whom do not even know, you're not entitled. You're entitled to such from someone who is yours and none other.

Just for your further edification, I suggest you visit Jack Rinella's site, www.leatherviews.com and read his articles on protocol and Old Guard.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to Mistressinwis)

Post #: 12

RE: Respect within the community - 6/25/2006 6:59:53 PM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mistressinwis

Ignoring bad behavior is how Hitler got most of Europe. As a Dominant, it's up to us to keep order within our community.

Oh good grief, you're a pip. Ignoring your asinine Hitler comment, there are already mechanisms in place to deal with abusive users. Block them from emailing you and if they find ways around that block, you can report them to the support staff. How difficult is that? Punishing such users isn't our concern.

quote:

I don't know what your real life BDSM community is like, but the one I belong to is very old school. slaves and subs speak only when spoken to, and very little or no direct eye contact. As to the rest, I will let you use your imagination. So you can understand my distress when a male that calls himself a slave has the audacity to dare speak to me in anything other than complete respect. I refuse to "turn the other cheek" in that instance.

Perhaps you need to start your own website that caters to this "very old school" BDSM community. Everyone here has the right to speak their minds, even those pesky slaves and subs. If you're expecting respect from people who don't know you, especially when barging in here with that 'bull in a china shop' attitude, you're going to be sorely disappointed. Respect is earned and just showing up here calling yourself Master Chudwah or Mistress Rumpswab isn't going to cut it.

quote:

Of course, I am always free to move on. I have had no luck finding any "real" female subs on this website. I thought this would be the perfect atmosphere, safe, annonymous. But all I have met are internet players. I admit to getting frustrated, and having to deal with disrespect adds insult to injury.

Maybe the reason you can't find anyone "real" here is because those "real" people are turned off by your 'one true way' dogma?

Naah, that couldn't be it.

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to Mistressinwis)

Post #: 13

RE: Respect within the community - 6/25/2006 7:04:14 PM

smilezz

Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline

First off......i don't see anything online as a "community". The community i belong to in r/l has a great deal of respect for each other...people are curteous and all around very pleasant to be with.
When one ventures onto a site that offers e-mail/forum/chat advantages...that's exactly what you will find. There are some that are not so nice, there are some that are up to date with what i call "chatism", then there are the few that really live this way and enjoy a good debate. Not everyone that comes here or e-mails another is actually seeking that one person.
If you get an e-mail you don't like. Delete it. There is no reason to give that person that much power over you to have to start a thread about dis-respect. It's online....it happens....weed out the bad.........move on with the new.

~smilezz~

_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

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(in reply to Mistressinwis)

Post #: 14

RE: Respect within the community - 6/25/2006 7:22:34 PM

Wulfchyld

Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline

~Quicky~

For me it is quite a good community. I am happy to be here and after surgery I hope I am not here as much but that won’t diminish the fact that I am very fond of the people here. Most all of the people that post teach me something new everyday, even if it is a stupid post I learn a little more tolerance and learn what each persons “buttons” or “pet peeves” are. I am kind of anti-social and it takes a long time for me to warm up to people in R/L, but here I can be more normally extroverted self and don’t have to deal with peoples agenda’s. I have met one person off here in real life and penciled her into my friend’s circle. I have a long list of people that I would like to meet and if my surgery goes well I will be able to do so soon. However, being a gimpy old bastard the internet is my social life right now, and when I am all gooder I will still pop in to pet the forum dog, steal virtual panties, and be an all around pain in the ass. It was a difficult transition for me to go from very active to hobbling, but this place helped me make the transition. I was at other places and had to censor my views or lose interaction all together. Then I found CM and discovered I could speak my mind and only hit about 100,000 block lists out of the possible 300,000 readers. 1/3 isn’t bad. When I got around better I attended a few lifestyle functions here. However I did run into a few people that turned my stomach. I’m not very sadistic. I am a lifestyle M/s with occasional lapses into sadism. I read everyone’s kinks and enjoy learning and look at what appeals to me and file it away. If I click with a slave here that would be great but I am not holding my breath. I am quite a picky bastard and like psychological scenes and… well heck you can look at my threads and discern that. The point being, there are many people here I look forward to interacting with in the capacity that this medium allows. Many I would like to meet and should all go well I would.

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together

(in reply to smilezz)

Post #: 15

RE: Respect within the community - 6/25/2006 8:01:04 PM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mistressinwis

Ignoring bad behavior is how Hitler got most of Europe.

Do you really mean to equate 'disrespectful' emailers and subs/slaves to HITLER??? Are you sure? I'm thinking not such a good choice and, in context, quite silly.

I'm getting this image of Chamberlain in leathers with a paddle in his hand, LOL! Naughty Hitler!! If ONLY the leaders of that time knew about BDSM (or had the number for a really good Pro Domme), World War II would NEVER HAVE HAPPENED!

Hate to pile on but thanks for the giggle!

Btw...You or any of your 'old school' buddies were to bring that kind of smack around me, you'd be in trouble.

< Message edited by joyinslavery -- 6/25/2006 8:04:48 PM >

(in reply to Mistressinwis)

Post #: 16

RE: Respect within the community - 6/25/2006 8:14:30 PM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

As a Dominant, it's up to us to keep order within our community.

Why is it up to us? *I* don't want the responsibility of policing this site, simply because I am dominant. Get real. Everyone is responsible for their own actions here. This is an ADULT site. I didn't come here to babysit.

_____________________________

(in reply to joyinslavery)

Post #: 17

RE: Respect within the community - 6/25/2006 11:22:08 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Ignoring bad behavior is how Hitler got most of Europe.

Godwin's Law

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, searchGodwin's Law (also Godwin's Rule of Nazi Analogies) is, in Internet culture, an adage originated in 1990 by Mike Godwin that states:

As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.[1]
This adage was formulated because many people compare anyone and anything they mildly dislike with Hitler. There is a tradition in many Usenet newsgroups that once such a comparison is made, the thread is finished and whoever mentioned the Nazis has automatically lost whatever debate was in progress.
It is considered poor form to arbitrarily raise such a comparison with the motive of ending the thread. There is a widely recognized codicil that any such deliberate invocation of Godwin's Law will be unsuccessful.
Although in one of its early forms Godwin's Law referred specifically to Usenet discussions[2], the law can be applied to any threaded online discussion: electronic mailing lists, message boards, chat rooms, and so on.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Mistressinwis)

Post #: 18

RE: Respect within the community - 6/26/2006 3:40:10 AM

meatcleaver

Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

There are ways to punish people or to show them they have over stepped the mark but looking at posts on CM, most people advocate putting such behaviour down to experience and moving on. I don't. People who bite will keep on biting until someone bites back.

I have never sought revenge in my life until I had a very nasty trick played on me but what this woman did was beyond the pale and there was no way I was going to let her get away with it and think she could do the same to someone else. This wasn't about bruised ego but a planned malicious trick and a total disregard for me as a person. All the same I gave her six months to apologise which was cheap at the price for what she did. She refused to apologise and it was during that time I found out she was totally deceitful while insisting on honesty. After that as far as I was concerned it was open season for revenge and the saying 'revenge is best served cold' is so so true.

The best policy I think, is to never put yourself in a situation where people can do you some damage and let bad and insulting behaviour wash over you. People do behave badly because they don't have to look the person they are behaving badly towards in the eye. If you get upset about what appears on your computer screen, it is best to throw away your computer.

(in reply to Mistressinwis)

Post #: 19

RE: Respect within the community - 6/26/2006 9:54:58 AM

NakedOnMyChain

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline

It's not the moderators' or administrators' job to clean up your dirty e-mail, unless it's an issue of stalking or of personal safety. If the e-mail is just rude, you need to deal with it yourself. They have enough on their plates without a thousand people complaining all at once about rude mail they're receiving.

Part of being an adult contributing to this site is being able to look after yourself a bit.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to Mistressinwis)

Post #: 20

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