RE: Inner Struggle

RE: Inner Struggle (Full Version)

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mnottertail -> RE: Inner Struggle (6/26/2006 12:48:08 PM)
I think that indoctrination did a lot of disservice to fine young ladies in our day, and ramifications of that will be felt for generations. Like new math it is a bad idea. Good girls do and think such things.

slavejali -> RE: Inner Struggle (6/26/2006 3:25:28 PM)
One of the wonderful things about being in a D/s Master/slave relationship as the slave or submissive is the other person is in control, it can allow you to do things you just couldnt if you thought you were in control. Knowing they are enjoying taking the reins really helps a lot to just relax you and do and experience things you never dreamed possible.

babysburnin -> RE: Inner Struggle (6/26/2006 10:02:01 PM)
I've struggled with that...not because I was raised that way... It was almost self-inflicted. But, I was "pegged" as a good girl, and found some self-righteousness in it - as bad as it sounds. It back-fired though - when I wanted not to be treated as "pure", I couldn't get it (or find it with a decent person). It all boils down to intimacy...Ok, you have some issues - He will too. Try to remove the "good girls" from your vocabulary and thoughts. What do you want to do? What do you like? If you have an open mind... (Some may even be inspired by your "condition" (said tongue-and-cheek).

justheather -> RE: Inner Struggle (6/26/2006 10:13:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail Good girls do and think such things. Shhhhhhh mnottertail you are going to spoil my kink if you keep talking like that....Some of us like the idea of being a bad bad dirty bad girl! When I first met my significant other, I had already done a lot of reading and personal exploration with regard to kink and had reached a place where I was able to express to him that what I really wanted was for someone to accept and love and cherish me with all my dirty-ness so that I could be free to just be. This was after YEARS of feeling guilty about my thoughts and desires and STILL MORE YEARS of trying to suppress them. I wish the OP all the best in her journey. I agree that the right dominant partner can make a world of difference, but only after the groundwork of self-discovery has been laid.

babysburnin -> RE: Inner Struggle (6/26/2006 10:39:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slavejali One of the wonderful things about being in a D/s Master/slave relationship as the slave or submissive is the other person is in control, it can allow you to do things you just couldnt if you thought you were in control. Knowing they are enjoying taking the reins really helps a lot to just relax you and do and experience things you never dreamed possible. Yes - this releases inhibitions...and most pleasant for we good girls - take me ...

asiandoll27 -> RE: Inner Struggle (6/28/2006 4:44:28 AM)
Yes - have struggled with the good girl syndrum as well - and often have let in rule in my emotions for a while. But have also found that the kinky side of me can go from 0 to 80 in a hot flash - and such kinky curiousity far out weighs that which should be rational. Now the good girl syndrum has uses by others who remind me that i am not one.

SusanofO -> RE: Inner Struggle (6/29/2006 6:03:46 AM)
Yes at one time I sturggled with this (and am not sure it won't happen again). But then I think of how unhappy some people who are traditional "good girls" (or appear that way anyway) look to me....I guess I am concerned more with people who I know definitely would not understand why I do this and would be disgusted by it if they found out. I am not a hypocrite, there are people I just know would not know or care why - my preferences would just be fuel for some gossip mill. I don't need the headaches, so I am pretty "closeted" (except w/ a select few. That could change, I suppose, to a degree, someday, but not here or now). - Susan

Submotive -> RE: Inner Struggle (6/29/2006 9:01:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eruditegirl1 I have a question I'd like to pose to anyone who may have had this inner struggle or might be going through it....as I learn more about my true sexual nature....the side of my sexual self I have kept restrained for all of my adult life....when I allow myself to explore this part of me and allow it to come to the surface...there is an inner voice that tells me..."good girls don't do such things"...and " a good girl wouldn't find that exciting"....I am worried that it may hold me back from reaching my true submissiveness... I am concerned that in the long run...it won't be fair to my future partner or myself.... Any and all advice...stories....are welcomed.... Thanks [sm=bust.gif] Yes, i do believe it is a "training" process. Much of it is an individual, inner discipline - to retrain the mind to think what is in alignment with what we really desire and who we really are, rather than what and who we've been conditioned to be. Society has its rules about everything. When the rules make sense to me, i have no conflict. When the rules are just rules based on someone else's idea of what's normal and there is no actual detriment to the well being of the rest of society, i say feck em if they can't take a joke. Enjoy the new you, embrace her. The guilt and shame will dissolve with each stroke of the paddle, the whip, the hand or whatever is your particular kink. And a good Dominant can be invaluable in this as well - helping you see how pleasing you are to Him.

litleone8620 -> RE: Inner Struggle (6/29/2006 9:53:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eruditegirl1 I have a question I'd like to pose to anyone who may have had this inner struggle or might be going through it....as I learn more about my true sexual nature....the side of my sexual self I have kept restrained for all of my adult life....when I allow myself to explore this part of me and allow it to come to the surface...there is an inner voice that tells me..."good girls don't do such things"...and " a good girl wouldn't find that exciting"....I am worried that it may hold me back from reaching my true submissiveness... I am concerned that in the long run...it won't be fair to my future partner or myself.... Any and all advice...stories....are welcomed.... Thanks I, personally, haven't had the voice say 'good girls don't do this, that, and the other thing'. I have questioned if what i'm doing is right, and have struggled with the fact that it most likely isn't 'socially acceptable' You need to make sure this is what you really want. When you realize this, and you find the right dominant, you should be able to talk to him about it. And he should help you with any other questions, or doubts you're having.

ray64 -> RE: Inner Struggle (6/29/2006 1:20:38 PM)
I have had several " inner struggles". There was a part that rebelled against My Mistress, A little voice that kept saying why or what difference does it make anyway. I have since found that those rebellious notions were just a part of growing as a slave. Once I got them to quite down I have found that the relationship between My Mistress and I has grown stronger. I was also very combative at times ( this was due a lot to being tired from work) The more YOU are aware of these things then You can begin to deal with them. Being combative had a lot to deal with work ( being an over the road truck driver you almost have to be or anyone that gets a chance will walk all over you. ) THis of course is not a proper attitude to project to My Mistress. I had to be more self aware and keep from slipping into automatic mode. My Mistress is being helpful in this as She has had expierience in this line of work before and has been understanding as long as She can see that I am trying, though quite intollerant if She see's that I am not. As far as a Sexual struggle goes, I think that that would come with trust. I know I have had them but to really begin ones JOURNEY as a slave this must be overcome (at least in my opinion). For one thing it does demonstrate obedience and submission as well as trust. *Note* so long as such action does not present a deffinate threat to your health. THe Master/Mistress has the obligation to always protect your health and safety and to do no permanent harm. Trust in this is a MUST! No Exceptions! One final note: a slave may encounter inner struggles from time to time, its a part of learning and growing. It always helpful to be HONEST with your Master/Mistress when you encounter them, By doing this you will have their assistance and wisdom as well as their support and understanding in overcoming them. Best of luck with your journey and may you find happiness and fufillment along your way

shyfem -> RE: Inner Struggle (6/29/2006 7:33:28 PM)
Good Evening All, I too have struggled with the "good girl" syndrome. My former Dom used to make me say things out loud to him that I have never before said outload to anyone including myself about my desires, etc. This helped me so much and helped me to be much more free and ultimately happier. I am still trying to fully "embrace my inner slut" as classykindasassy so properly put it though. I am still not out about my life and like SusanofO, I feel there are people in my life who would not understand and certainly not approve. I have told one friend and it felt very good to get it off my chest. She was understanding, although, admitted that she knew nothing of D/s and very little of BDSM. I hope you are able to quiet those voices at least a little and embrace who/what you are, erudeitegirl1. Respectfully, ~shy ----------------------------------------------- May all who tread here find what they seek!

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