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knkywch -> RE: Some Advice (RANT) (2/7/2005 10:26:54 AM)
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It is so nice to find a group of people who value honor and honesty! It is amazing to me how many folks thing poly=cheating or open relationship=cheating. My judgement on these folks who feel compelled to decieve is that they are not emotionally and spiritually evolved enough to see how much more hurtful it is to deceive than it is to tell the truth. One recurring excuse is that the other (spouse, girl/boyfriend, whoever...) "wouldn't be able to handle it" or some such line. The REALITY is that the deceiver is too weak and spineless to face the consequences of what s/he wants and needs... and is going to pursue on the sly. That addiction to having one's cake and eating it too seems to also provide a sort of adrenaline rush that I believe is the addictive core of the behavior.
Remember when you were a kid and you lied? Remember that rush of energy? Fear=adrenaline. It feels exciting, ALIVE. AND, unless you were smart enough to cop to the lie BEFORE someone else found out about your deception, the consequences were worse than if you'd not lied in the first place. Not telling lies is the best and CLEANEST (most honorable) type of action. Copping to it before getting found out is worse, but not nearly as damaging as being found out and shattering trust. Breaking trust is like breaking a glass. The vessel is never the same once shattered. You might be lucky enough (with enough patience and work) to piece together the shards and rebuild so that it can hold water again... but evidence of the damage will always be there. [&o]
Can you tell, this is one of my hot buttons? Thanks for your rant, masokissed.
Regards,
kw
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