RE: Just a rant (Full Version)

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theshytype -> RE: Just a rant (6/6/2013 6:39:06 PM)

Three reasons come to mine at the moment (I'm sure there's a lot more):
1). Some people are just awful, miserable people and like making others feel the same way
2). They're not happy you're taken or not interested and take their frustration out on you
3). Both of the above

I state in my profile that I'm not looking for anyone and have no pictures up of myself, yet have received similar messages.
I laugh it off. Why? Because there's a good chance they're looking for something to complete their life and I'm already content with mine. That, and if I suddenly found myself single and looking, they've made it easier on me since I've blocked them and removed them from the pool.




brownie2 -> RE: Just a rant (6/6/2013 6:48:28 PM)

I do try not to let it bother me. Maybe I should stay away when not feeling good. Maybe the dig was because I only do this for the kink, just a bottom. He or others could feel I do not belong here. Thanks.




brownie2 -> RE: Just a rant (6/6/2013 6:58:20 PM)

I think it can be number two. Before I saw your post theshytype I posted this is just kink for me. That would mean I am not interested. This is not the first time I got this kind of mail.




Duskypearls -> RE: Just a rant (6/7/2013 5:45:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: brownie2

This has been covered before. I know I will be sorry I made this post but here goes. Why do some feel the need to write somebody to tell them they need to loose weight? That if i loose weight then maybe somebody will listen to me.


Because hurt people, hurt people.

Is English your second language? If so, I will elaborate in case the first sentence didn't quite make sense.

It is not uncommon for those who are in pain (mentally, emotionally, etc.,) to try to hurt others, consciously or otherwise. Usually, because that is what they've learned to do, from others who do the same.




jlf1961 -> RE: Just a rant (6/7/2013 5:48:41 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Duskypearls


quote:

ORIGINAL: brownie2

This has been covered before. I know I will be sorry I made this post but here goes. Why do some feel the need to write somebody to tell them they need to loose weight? That if i loose weight then maybe somebody will listen to me.


Because hurt people, hurt people.



Actually, I think it is more of "superficial people think that they know what is best for everyone else, so they tell them in the cruelest way possible" which is why most of them have relationship issues.




angelikaJ -> RE: Just a rant (6/7/2013 7:21:40 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: brownie2

I do try not to let it bother me. Maybe I should stay away when not feeling good. Maybe the dig was because I only do this for the kink, just a bottom. He or others could feel I do not belong here. Thanks.



My suspicion is it had nothing whatsoever to do with you personally.
It was a random thing someone saw in your profile and used it to attack you, who is a random person to him/her.

There is nothing wrong with being a bottom; plenty of people only do it for the kink.





deliriuminabox -> RE: Just a rant (6/7/2013 7:26:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: brownie2

i know i am overweight but is no reason to tell me.


Own it. Put it in your profile.

"Hello, I'm a fatty. I'm soft, lush and basically hotter than you. No need to inform me of what I already know. Thanks!"

Then you'll get emails from men telling you NOT to lose weight. I'm serious. Try it and see.

ETA

Well, you don't necessarily have to say that you're hotter than them because that isn't very nice either. For example though, when my profile was active I spelled it out ... I know I'm fat. If you're not attracted to that, no big deal. Don't message me. If you are attracted to that, awesome but please don't turn my fat into a fetish as I've already lost 65 lbs and plan to drop a bit more.

Suddenly I stopped getting emails from idiots telling me how fat I am and started getting emails from men telling me not to lose weight. (Which, isn't much better in my opinion but its a lot less cruel!) Cruel people prey upon those they perceive as being weak or ashamed. Own your "flaws" ... They're what make you ... You.




brownie2 -> RE: Just a rant (6/7/2013 7:24:04 PM)

I see nothing wrong with just being a bottom. I think that some do. That this site is not for anybody who is a bottom or top. I could add something like what you say derliriuminabox. I am clear I am not looking to meet and that I am a bottom. That way I do not mislead or waste anybodies time. Would not hurt to add I am overweight.




angelikaJ -> RE: Just a rant (6/7/2013 7:40:26 PM)

You are quite mistaken: [my] Master functions as a Top quite often, and there are plenty of Tops and bottoms on this side.
Just because there is not an official designation does not mean Tops and bottoms are not welcomed.




ShaharThorne -> RE: Just a rant (6/8/2013 4:56:12 AM)

Hey, I am a fatty and I only received ONE negative cmail from an asshole. Just a quick block and delete. There are plenty of men in the 4 state are wanting me NOT to lose my weight but guess what...I am slowly losing it with a special diet (high proteins, low carbs, dark chocolate). After Mom gets her cast off, we are walking to get her legs back in shape. I need to get back on the exercise bike though...




brownie2 -> RE: Just a rant (6/8/2013 11:23:39 AM)

I did not mean that the owners/operators of the site do not want bottoms here. Some members is what I mean. SharharThorne good for you. I lost 84 pounds which was about 10 pounds to much so had to gain about 10 back. Kept the weight off for a few years then started to gain in back. Like you I also walked and used a exercise bike.




LafayetteLady -> RE: Just a rant (6/8/2013 3:00:15 PM)

Even if you took your weight off your profile (which isn't that high by the way), you would still get those messages.

It has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them.

If you can't let those things not bother you, then work with a therapist to find out why.




brownie2 -> RE: Just a rant (6/8/2013 6:49:10 PM)

Sometimes I think I need to talk to somebody but in the past I did not think it helped. Not for this but other reasons.




angelikaJ -> RE: Just a rant (6/8/2013 6:59:10 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: brownie2

I did not mean that the owners/operators of the site do not want bottoms here. Some members is what I mean. SharharThorne good for you. I lost 84 pounds which was about 10 pounds to much so had to gain about 10 back. Kept the weight off for a few years then started to gain in back. Like you I also walked and used a exercise bike.


I think you are much too focused on what other people think.

Your weight is not really an issue, nor is whether you are a bottom, slave, switch, or submissive.
Those who tell you otherwise would find some other deficit, excess or difference that displeased them... and again it is nothing personal.

They do that for sport to many people, not just you.

You have a place here, if you want it.




LafayetteLady -> RE: Just a rant (6/8/2013 7:29:03 PM)

Sometimes you might need to go through a dozen counselors before you find the one that works for you. It does help to have some kind of goal about what you are looking to get out of it. For instance, in this case, you already know that there are superficial things that bother you, and it might help to know why. A good therapist will focus the sessions on exploring that issue.




FrostedFlake -> RE: Just a rant (6/9/2013 3:06:03 AM)

Do you realize that some of the people here are sadists?




garyFLR -> RE: Just a rant (6/10/2013 4:25:26 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: brownie2

This has been covered before. I know I will be sorry I made this post but here goes. Why do some feel the need to write somebody to tell them they need to loose weight? That if i loose weight then maybe somebody will listen to me.


These people have their own insecurities, block them & forget them.




brownie2 -> RE: Just a rant (6/13/2013 4:20:49 PM)

Will not go into it here but is only one place I can go to therapy. I do not know if can change therapists if want to. I could not change the doctor I was seeing at the same place. Somebody here sent me something to help me find a good therapist. Thanks again. Since do not know if the person wants me to say who I will not. I think I know why I have some of the issues/problems but never talked about it with any therapists I saw. Only told one but did not want to talk about it. Thanks again everybody.




garyFLR -> RE: Just a rant (6/14/2013 1:58:43 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: brownie2

I know I should not let it bother me. Sometimes it does then get mad at myself that it does.


It doesn't matter what age you are. A hurt is a hurt, & you don't have to share another's crass sense of humour.




dcnovice -> RE: Just a rant (6/14/2013 2:16:52 AM)

quote:

Because hurt people, hurt people.

Brava! Nailed it in just four words.

I sometimes think darkly that "Love your neighbor as yourself" is the best-kept commandment in the whole Bible.* We live in a world of self-hating folks who lash out at others.

*"Be fruitful and multiply" is a close second.




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