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RE: Love - 6/16/2013 6:15:02 AM   
NissanGTR


Posts: 8
Joined: 6/12/2013
Status: offline
Dunno If I could ever "Love" a Domme romantically... Being submissive isn't who I am in the vanilla world.

Being a slave for me, is more a path to enlightenment, personal growth and new experience.

(in reply to Charles6682)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Love - 6/16/2013 8:56:20 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
and love isn't?

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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to NissanGTR)
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RE: Love - 6/16/2013 10:38:35 AM   
njlauren


Posts: 1577
Joined: 10/1/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NissanGTR

Dunno If I could ever "Love" a Domme romantically... Being submissive isn't who I am in the vanilla world.

Being a slave for me, is more a path to enlightenment, personal growth and new experience.

That raises an interesting question, then are you basically doing this only in the bedroom/playroom with someone where it is strictly about BD/SM play, or do you play with pro dommes? I am not asking this in a negative way, but it highlights I think differences in how people approach this.

For example, someone may be married to a non kink person, and have an outside mistress/master to fulfill those needs, and they may not be romantically linked to the outside dominant (in part, because they don't want to hurt their married, primary relationship, though IRL the few instances I know of like this, it often became problematic when the sub did fall for the outside dominant, and ended up either with some sort of poly relationship if the marital spouse was okay with that, or leaving the vanilla spouse for the dominant...).

My own personal story is of course, but that is because we were romantic long before we were into the BD/SM, D/s, and our relationship has survived long stretches with out, because we have so much else to our lives as parents/friends/lovers/ partners. I can't or won't speak for everyone, but with lifestyle D/s people, my experience has been that most have multi level relationships, that despite the porn and erotica images, there are a lot smaller number where the whole thing is the D/s or BD/SM, where they are M/s, D/s, and that is it, where there is no romantic/love relationship the way a vanilla couple has it.


(in reply to NissanGTR)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Love - 6/16/2013 12:37:30 PM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline
I loved him first, then when I felt secure enough to tell him about my BDSM side, he has stepping it up a great deal and furfilling me as a submissive (although I will say I am really just a "bottom" or bedroom submissive, so perhaps it isn't that big a leap for him, since he was always very take charge).

(in reply to njlauren)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Love - 6/16/2013 2:12:52 PM   
Charles6682


Posts: 1820
Joined: 10/1/2007
From: Saint Pete,FL
Status: offline
I know I can handle a vanilla relationship as I have had girlfriend's before. In many way's, I am very comfortable in a "vanilla" relationship. Of course, when I start to think about it, a lot of my ex-girlfriends are what people would consider "bossy". The only 1 thing about a vanilla only relationship is me having to hide my fetish side. I figured if I was going to get in a vanilla relationship again, I would want to let whoever my girlfriend is that there is this side to me.

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(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Love - 6/16/2013 9:48:13 PM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline
If he suffered a massive personality change and stopped being dominant, I'd still love him. My feelings for him wouldn't change. But if he couldn't provide the leadership and control I need, if my service and submission was no longer wanted, he wouldn't be meeting my needs. I think I'd come to resent him sooner or later.

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Love - 6/17/2013 4:10:20 AM   
NissanGTR


Posts: 8
Joined: 6/12/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: njlauren


quote:

ORIGINAL: NissanGTR

Dunno If I could ever "Love" a Domme romantically... Being submissive isn't who I am in the vanilla world.

Being a slave for me, is more a path to enlightenment, personal growth and new experience.

That raises an interesting question, then are you basically doing this only in the bedroom/playroom with someone where it is strictly about BD/SM play, or do you play with pro dommes? I am not asking this in a negative way, but it highlights I think differences in how people approach this.

For example, someone may be married to a non kink person, and have an outside mistress/master to fulfill those needs, and they may not be romantically linked to the outside dominant (in part, because they don't want to hurt their married, primary relationship, though IRL the few instances I know of like this, it often became problematic when the sub did fall for the outside dominant, and ended up either with some sort of poly relationship if the marital spouse was okay with that, or leaving the vanilla spouse for the dominant...).

My own personal story is of course, but that is because we were romantic long before we were into the BD/SM, D/s, and our relationship has survived long stretches with out, because we have so much else to our lives as parents/friends/lovers/ partners. I can't or won't speak for everyone, but with lifestyle D/s people, my experience has been that most have multi level relationships, that despite the porn and erotica images, there are a lot smaller number where the whole thing is the D/s or BD/SM, where they are M/s, D/s, and that is it, where there is no romantic/love relationship the way a vanilla couple has it.





You reply doesn't sound negative at all! I'm glad to elaborate.

No it's not about just bedroom play... Infact that's a small part of it.

I serve my Domme financially, domestically, serve her fetishes (not my own), and I serve in otherways.

For me it's about giving up complete control, fear of the unknown, not having any hard limits of my own to dictate (within reason, serious injury, ect), having to endure her will. I could get an email from my Domme anytime she wants to mess with my life.

She is a pro who keeps a select few lifestyle slaves.

I really don't believe in booking a session... To me that's not submission. You are paying for a service, so then your the customer, and the customer is always right.




(in reply to njlauren)
Profile   Post #: 27
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