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RE: Age - 6/9/2013 12:11:17 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SaintEccentric

older guys are not a turn off, Just nothing to relate to. There are lots of handsome older guys



Why would you want to be with someone you can't relate to?
It's a relationship like any other. The only person who can tell you what you need in a relationship is you. Be true to yourself.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to SaintEccentric)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Age - 6/9/2013 1:56:57 PM   
MsEloquence


Posts: 72
Joined: 5/7/2013
Status: offline 		Fast reply

Find a man who attracts you.

It will be fun for you to learn together.

_____________________________

Eloquence

(in reply to SaintEccentric)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Age - 6/9/2013 7:44:49 PM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		Make sure to check the older guys before you discount as nothing to relate to. I am 19.5 years older than my girl and I have owned her for 7 years now. Music, humor, TV, movies (except for the chick flicks), books, philosophy and many other things we have similar taste in.

Look for whatever you like in someone first and let all the labels like age and such come after.


quote:

ORIGINAL: SaintEccentric

older guys are not a turn off, Just nothing to relate to. There are lots of handsome older guys



_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to SaintEccentric)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Age - 6/9/2013 8:18:40 PM   
TeaseAndSpankMe


Posts: 25
Joined: 4/14/2013
From: St. Pete/Tampa Bay Florida
Status: offline 		I hear ya on the age thing... that is something I have personally grappled with over the last few years. Several years ago, I pretty much stayed within a 4/5 year age difference either younger/older. A couple of years ago I had an ad up seeking platonic friendship in my local area. I received a well written email & never knew their age. We seemed to have good email rapport & spoke on the phone... I still did not know their age. Not only that, I didn't know what they looked like. So, during this call I find out he is barely 27 and of another race. He asked me out to dinner, but I said he was far too young. He was persistent & said he was not like other guys his age. I figured..life is short, why the heck not. He showed up for dinner a 1/2hr early & we got to know each other over the course of about 5 hours. We had great rapport...I honestly can say I forgot how old he really was. (of course, he really was an anomaly because he also flew out of state to teach classes & spoke 3 other languages). The thing is...we are friends now, have been intimate & I feel like he's a friend for life. When I recently got laid off...he was sincere & empathetic. He came over after his business meeting to listen (& brought over sushi & a bottle of something...lol) I know I am being long-winded, but the point I'm trying to make is to try & not pigeon-hole your requirements to a fault. I also have a similar story, but with a guy older than me. Because of that experience, I am finding myself more open to a wider age range. I could share more about that experience, but then this post would become quite the mini novel. ;)

So, my personal advice to you is this: search out what you want, but, keep an open mind for others outside of that. In other words, don't be too quick to disregard someone based on one particular stat. Look at the whole picture & what they offer as a human being.

Best to you in your search :)


(in reply to OrionTheWolf)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Age - 6/9/2013 9:48:01 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I just came back from a fabulous event where we had several attendees in your age range. They are definitely out there and not just at TNG events. Some are out there at just the regular events that are held by the main group, so don't get discouraged if you can't find TNG (stand for The Next Generation, which is a special interest group with a specific age range) in your area.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to TeaseAndSpankMe)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Age - 6/10/2013 3:35:42 AM   
garyFLR


Posts: 4030
Joined: 5/11/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SaintEccentric

How do you guys feel about younger people in the lifestyle? Most the people that contact me are much older. Should I give up on looking for a Dom my age and submit to an older man?


On a personal level, ideally I would prefer a partner my own age, or perhaps older. People are attracted to each other for a variety of reasons. On CM there is a wide age range, I suppose people are more likely to be attracted to those of a similar age, there will be exceptions that prove the rule. Again, I'm 54, what possible connections would I have with an 18yr old lady, & vice versa. Having said that I can connect with any age at a vanilla level.

I would suggest, don't give up on your dreams, don't settle for second best, but, whatever the age, if you have a genuine attraction for them, go for it!


(in reply to SaintEccentric)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Age - 6/10/2013 7:33:16 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SaintEccentric

I want someone I can relate to outside of the bedroom.


Even though I am older, I have a rather narrow set of age related relationship parameters that works for me. My focus in a relationship is on the connection between my partner and I, it's not really related to anything kinky (ie.experience etc). I find that connection to be the best within 5 years of my own age. I'm entitled to my preference on this just like anyone else is on whatever they are looking for.

If you know what appeals to you and what works for you then don't compromise because someone else is trying to talk you out of it or because you feel that you have to settle.

(in reply to SaintEccentric)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Age - 6/10/2013 8:41:01 AM   
SwitchNSpanky


Posts: 418
Joined: 5/28/2013
Status: offline 		I strongly advocate getting as informed about the lifestyle as possible. Experiment when you feel it's SAFE and right. Then figure out a way to show new partners the lifestyle in a safe and controlled manner. Do a tie and tease for your new boyfriend. Whatever. Just don't let a new vanilla dude you don't really trust tie you right off the bat, etc.

Most of my partners were new to the scene. Almost all loved at least some part of it.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Age - 6/10/2013 8:46:14 AM   
SwitchNSpanky


Posts: 418
Joined: 5/28/2013
Status: offline 		Try to make learning about the lifestyle kinky and fin for your partner. Forgive honest mistakes. And be patient. As an example. I'm learning Shibari type rope work. I sometimes have to figure out a tie. My Lady gives me time. (hehe. I do try to give her something to think about tho.)

(in reply to SwitchNSpanky)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Age - 6/10/2013 8:46:56 AM   
Thaz


Posts: 617
Joined: 4/28/2012
Status: offline 		Hmmm. Go to local events and make friends.

I generally prefer partner the same age to myself....the Wench is a couple of months older and we've been together for just under a decade this time around.

That said I play with and have had quite a close relationship with younger girls. I'm more than slightly conflicted about the young lady I've been playing with moving away at the end of the month and she's 20+ years younger than me....(I know I know)

(in reply to SwitchNSpanky)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Age - 6/10/2013 8:51:45 AM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline 		I am going to repeat my earlier recommendation--BESS in Baltimore and Black Rose in DC are large and respected organizations and BOTH have TNG groups. Both are on Fet Life and have websites.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Age - 6/10/2013 7:23:16 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Look, I'm gonna make it easy. If you wouldn't date someone much older than you when you were "vanilla" then don't do it now. It's not rocket science and just because the label of bdsm is attached to it doesn't make it any different whatsoever. Who you choose to talk to or date or fuck is still the same.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Age - 6/11/2013 12:19:34 AM   
BambiBoi


Posts: 461
Joined: 8/10/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SaintEccentric

older guys are not a turn off, Just nothing to relate to. There are lots of handsome older guys


What a lot of younger people in the lifestyle forget is that a long term BDSM relationship, even 24/7 D/s, is still bound by your same needs in vanilla relationships. Your journal entry, produced below, suggests you understand that being owned/collared is not about being in latex corsets 18 hours a day, blindfolded and bent over. I think we'd both agree that you'd be spending a lot of time with your owner/master/dom/top cuddling, watching movies, eating meals, bathing, talking. So search for those things first.

Chemistry is hard to make out of nothing, where as lovers can be trained.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SaintEccentric's Journal
So, about what it is I want. I want a master to collar me and own me. I want a master who understands that ownership is not about abusing the power I give and can act accordingly. My biggest turn on is turning on my master or partner and my ideal master would be a really cool person who is a little closer to my age, fun, someone easy going and creative.


Germaine to age: Age correlates to experience. You might find a youngin' with a good head on his shoulders. One who understands the ebb and flow of D/s. In my experience, most 24ish year old male tops want to have twisted kinky sex and otherwise live a vanilla relationship. So watch out, if that's not what you want. You need someone with exceptional presence of mind for that age. Look for someone who has read books on D/s, avoid men who boast of their conquests. The 24 year old guy who understands that having a submissive is different than having a sex toy will be a gentleman overall.

Your profile says:

quote:

ORIGINAL: SaintEccentric's Profile
. . . I have no experience and I am completely open minded. . .


This scares me. There are worse things than two inexperienced people trying this lifestyle out, but mentors/books/groups are irreplaceable. I'm a little more... poly.. than most, but I would consider taking a mentor while you treat the hordes of horny suitors as tops and see what develops. This way you don't confuse lust, love, sub space, a need to submit, and dominance into a self-abusive cocktail.

Teehee. Cocktail.

_____________________________

<3

(in reply to SaintEccentric)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Age - 6/11/2013 12:25:04 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Bambi!!! I was just thinking of you! Glad to see you posting!

Ok back to topic, sorry y'all.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to BambiBoi)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Age - 6/11/2013 3:09:06 AM   
wiermen


Posts: 11
Joined: 2/13/2013
Status: offline 		"You want what you want, whether or not you think you can get it"
Robert Fritz.

That about sums it up. It's useless anyone on here trying to convince you otherwise.
Best of luck!

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Age - 6/11/2013 4:44:52 AM   
BambiBoi


Posts: 461
Joined: 8/10/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

Bambi!!! I was just thinking of you! Glad to see you posting!

Ok back to topic, sorry y'all.


I've been working on big stuff =).

_____________________________

<3

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Age - 6/11/2013 1:01:53 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Ooh la la!

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to BambiBoi)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Age - 6/12/2013 8:27:00 AM   
SwitchNSpanky


Posts: 418
Joined: 5/28/2013
Status: offline 		I was 19 when I entered into the lifestyle. So was my girl. Most of my partners were around my age. If you want a partner around your age then don't settle. But if your feeling exploratory maybe check out someone older once or twice. Could be a new and exciting adventure.

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Age - 6/12/2013 9:43:56 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline 		[Fast Reply]

I personally like older men. They are more mellow, more patient, alot wiser.
But if you prefer men your age, I'd say, don't settle, unless you met an oldie who breaks all stereotypes of whatever you have against older men.
I'm opposite, I can't deal with men in their 30's, nearer to my age. I always end up somehow being more motherly towards them. There is often this child-likeness in alot of 30 yr olds still, can't explain it. It's cute in a 50 yr old, but not cute in a 30 yr old.



< Message edited by Greta75 -- 6/12/2013 9:46:32 AM >

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 39
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