RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? (Full Version)

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AthenaSurrenders -> RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? (6/15/2013 8:54:49 AM)

FR

Don't worry about something being 'unsubmissive'. Until you have agreed to submit to someone, you don't have to defer just because they ticked the 'dominant' box on their profile. They're human beings like everyone else. Some like to be pursued, others enjoy doing the chasing, very few people in general will be upset by a friendly expression of interest if you are polite.

Besides, who says what 'submissive' is? Personally I would classify starting a conversation as neither a dominant or a submissive act, just a sociable one. And what's the worst that can happen? They get grumpy because they think subs shouldn't message first, and you get an early warning that this person might not be right for you.




DarkSteven -> RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? (6/15/2013 8:56:48 AM)

All right, men, let's compare notes. How many of you in this thread have gotten messages from eagertoplease88 thus far? [8D]



DesFIP -> RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? (6/15/2013 9:04:48 AM)

It doesn't matter who writes first. So you write him, he reads your profile and says you're too far away and doesn't respond. What have you lost?

What matters is that your interest in each other is equal after you begin talking.

You're willing to be tied up, beaten, used as a fuck toy, but you're too afraid to say "Hi, I love that profile pic. Where did you take it?". You don't see a dichotomy in your risk taking there?



Baroana -> RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? (6/15/2013 10:14:59 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: eagertoplease88

Baroana, I do not have an inferiority complex. I am shy, and I, like pretty much everyone else, fear rejection, but that doesn't mean that I think I have to wait for Doms to approach me because I am not good enough to go to them. I know that I will make someone a very good slave. I am just new to the online D/s dating scene and I'm curious about how Doms feel about receiving messages and what they like to see in them. I feel like some Doms might prefer to be the one to make contact and some would prefer to be contacted, and I am curious about the reasons for their preferences.



I'm glad to hear that!

What you may want to do, then, is further develop for yourself an idea of what "submissiveness" means to you. Hopefully you do not believe that you need to become someone's doormat or that you cannot be a confident and assertive woman.

I'm not trying to prejudge you. It's just that I was a bit thrown when you stated that you have a fear of messaging a guy who will then be all like "how DARE she speak to me!"



Musicmystery -> RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? (6/15/2013 10:47:47 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: eagertoplease88

Baroana, I do not have an inferiority complex. I am shy, and I, like pretty much everyone else, fear rejection, but that doesn't mean that I think I have to wait for Doms to approach me because I am not good enough to go to them. I know that I will make someone a very good slave. I am just new to the online D/s dating scene and I'm curious about how Doms feel about receiving messages and what they like to see in them. I feel like some Doms might prefer to be the one to make contact and some would prefer to be contacted, and I am curious about the reasons for their preferences.

Coming up with reasons not to do something is pretty common. That's why most people never get what they want. If you want things you've never had, you'll have to do things you've never done.

It will come down to you and what you do, not what others think or do. Always.



SimplyMichael -> RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? (6/15/2013 11:20:30 AM)

I rarely bother sending emails to women here because so few of the profiles are anything but spammers.

Also, my history tends to be that relationships tend to flow from contact by a woman,rather than by me.



lizi -> RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? (6/15/2013 12:00:59 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

Coming up with reasons not to do something is pretty common. That's why most people never get what they want. If you want things you've never had, you'll have to do things you've never done.

It will come down to you and what you do, not what others think or do. Always.


Exactly.
I always point out in conversations like these, that life would be pretty limited if we waited till something fell into our laps in order to act. What's wrong with taking personal responsibility for what you want and go out to find and get it? If someone is completely passive and waits for whatever comes to them, they are almost guaranteed to have to accept something substandard. You could get lucky, why not ensure that instead of hope for it?



RemoteUser -> RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? (6/15/2013 4:57:28 PM)

OP:

If you're going to send a message, do it for yourself. If something extra comes out of it, so much the better.

I tend to send a "hello" message to anyone who glances at my profile. Maybe a third of them reply. Perhaps two a month can carry on a conversation by cmail beyond two messages. I could probably count on one hand how many still drop a missive my way.

Now mind you, I'm not looking for anyone. I have a one, and she is mine, and I am quite happy with her. I'm always willing to make friends, though I think I have had more luck of that here in forums than in random cmails.

So, write for yourself. Say what you want to say, and see what comes of it. If nothing, you can still enjoy the process.

Best of luck.



goodgirlmary -> RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? (6/15/2013 5:04:50 PM)

I still cannot get my pm function to work



hejira92 -> RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? (6/19/2013 12:04:56 PM)

I contacted Sir first. I made a specific compliment about His profile and then politely asked Him to view mine. And now, after more than 7 years together, I guess you could say the rest is history!



Hillwilliam -> RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? (6/19/2013 12:09:23 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirlmary

I still cannot get my pm function to work

The PM function on this site doesn't work well at all.



TieMeInKnottss -> RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? (6/19/2013 6:04:44 PM)

I am shy too but I find that the anonymity of email to actually be beneficial--I would NEVER approach an attractive man in person to "pick him up" without having an anxiety attack but online...the worst is they ignore you. I actually met my current guy by emailing him on here. Thought he was cute, liked what he posted, thought his profile was funny & figured no harm would come from telling him that...

It is much easier to take the risk this way then face to face!



poise -> RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? (6/19/2013 6:20:47 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirlmary

I still cannot get my pm function to work

Be sure that you are signed in on the other side when you try to PM someone from the forums.



SunTzuSwe -> RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? (6/20/2013 6:16:01 AM)

Personally I love it if a female sub/slave writes to me.

I believe who writes to who has more to do with stereotypical male/female roles than being Dominant or submissive.
To put it plainly, Women are used to men making first contact and men are used to having to initiate first contact.



SimplyMichael -> RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? (6/20/2013 11:00:42 AM)

There are a couple of phrases I think are profound.
How is that working for you?

Is one of them...



Tezzireth42 -> RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? (6/20/2013 10:11:44 PM)

Greetings fellow forum readers. First off I read the thread topic wrong and thought this was about massages. My bad. Anyway to the point. One thing every person wants is to feel as though someone cares for them. If a woman on here would message me first I would honestly be incredibly happy. Not only would that open the door for conversation but it meant that someone out there took the time to specifically talk to me.

So there is my sentimental two cents. Hopefully that helps you out ^_^

Cheers



MasterSignusNova -> RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? (6/23/2013 7:07:07 AM)

I think there is nothing wrong to get messages from sub women. Sometimes its best for this to happen because its a good positive sign to say what you feel. Sub women should not be shy about thier ideas.



TearCollector -> RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? (7/7/2013 9:23:45 PM)

I dont get many messages. Then again Im not very active on CM. But about years ago, a sub contacted me and that led to about months of chatting late night and hours and hours of laughing and playing. I finally pulled the trigger and moved her in with me. We arent together today. We still keep in touch and keep a friendly relationship. But I think the OP asks a good question here and I think subs should pay attention. Females get lots of messages from guys that will never interest them. Why would you not contact someone that may interest you. I like this thread and even though its been discussed before so what. Do it again. Someone may greatly benefit from it. Just my humble Opinion. For what its worth.



mstrj69 -> RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? (7/8/2013 5:30:01 PM)

This may not be what you want but with as many fakes as there are on here, I can see nothing wrong with a submissive starting a conversation to find out if he is real or not. It shows you want to be proactive and know a sub is not someone who ignores everyone else.

Good luck.



SouthernSensual -> RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? (7/8/2013 5:53:03 PM)

I just think it is the M/D responsibility to contact the sub....I would hope there was something about my profile that sounded like something he was looking for.



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