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Attraction. - 6/26/2006 4:51:36 PM   
MstrTiger


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What conscious or unconscious rules do you think you or other people employ when they are drawn to someone? and taking such rules into consideration do you think you have any rule breakers be they positive or negative?

For example, when I look at someone and evaluate them I might on a subconscious level give them a + for having a nice smile or sexy muscles or I might give them a - for having stinky hair or clothes I don’t like and overall taking all the +‘s and -‘s into account on a slightly subconscious level I make the overall decision or if I am attracted to them or not. Obviously you have to factor in the situation you are reviewing the person in and your mental state at the time though do you think there is a sort of overall formulae that you use when you are deciding if you are attracted to someone. An example or a negative rule breaker would be for example them expressing political views that are totally contrary to your own and an example of a positive rule breaker would be in they happen to be a billionaire at which point you might look on the fact that they are 88 and have a gentleman in a long black cape carrying a scythe following them around as an rule breaking advantage which totally overrides all the + - analysis part.

I am not saying the example I have given is the correct one it is just an example/rant, how do you think it all works? and on what criteria do you base your rules?

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RE: Attraction. - 6/26/2006 5:07:42 PM   
sophia37


Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline 		Are you serious? Drop the rules guy! Drop the rules! Go with what your instincts are instead. 

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RE: Attraction. - 6/26/2006 5:13:49 PM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
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Status: offline 		If I'm not really feeling it I work on all kinds of formulas to figure out what's wrong. When it works I don't have to.

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RE: Attraction. - 6/26/2006 5:14:19 PM   
MstrTiger


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sophia37

Are you serious? Drop the rules guy! Drop the rules! Go with what your instincts are instead. 


Yes, though what i am asking is what lies behind peoples instincts there has to be a system that controls it and I want peoples opinions on that, it is more of an academic question than a personal one.

< Message edited by MstrTiger -- 6/26/2006 5:18:04 PM >

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RE: Attraction. - 6/26/2006 5:18:01 PM   
LokisBrat


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From: Mayberry, Illinois
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sophia37

Are you serious? Drop the rules guy! Drop the rules! Go with what your instincts are instead. 


I have to agree, instead of looking for a formula, I would submit to instinct.

LOKI


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RE: Attraction. - 6/26/2006 5:28:03 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		My attraction is based on the persons awareness of self and their ability to communicate that effectively out into the world.

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RE: Attraction. - 6/26/2006 5:32:06 PM   
sublizzie


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Status: offline 		My initial draw is to their energy. There is a dominant energy that I am drawn to that has nothing to do with looks and everything to do with their natural dominance. Once I've ascertained that much, I start looking at their behaviors and beliefs. But the first drawing point, for me, is their dominant energy.

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RE: Attraction. - 6/26/2006 5:38:33 PM   
Chaingang


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Status: offline 		I was just talking to my nephew about this very subject!

And why am I not surprised that women, who themselves have so many unspoken criteria, are hiding behind the usual "touchy-feely" stuff?

I don't buy it. MstrTiger is correct. You may not want to admit it, you may have a hard time articulating it - but there is an equation of some kind at work, either consciously or otherwise. Personally, I think money matters a lot to everyone. It shouldn't matter as much as it does, but it's there. Classism is alive and well.

There's lot's of ways we talk about this too, it's not fucking instinct. We want people who aren't losers, that "have their act together," etc. C'mon...!


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RE: Attraction. - 6/26/2006 5:39:29 PM   
missturbation


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Status: offline 		Ive been attracted to many differant types of men / women over the years. I think its animal attraction, instinctive, either there or its not.

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RE: Attraction. - 6/26/2006 5:43:24 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		I agree Chaingang, I think a lot of time what people put down to intution is really just "feelings" gathered inside you based on your past experience...which can be a good or bad thing..not always positive and at best...unreliable.

If peoples "gut insticnts" were 100% reliable we would have a billion lotto winners everyday *grin*

< Message edited by slavejali -- 6/26/2006 5:45:22 PM >

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RE: Attraction. - 6/26/2006 5:44:39 PM   
MstrTiger


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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

Ive been attracted to many differant types of men / women over the years. I think its animal attraction, instinctive, either there or its not.


I agree totally, though what do you think the factors behind it being there or not are?

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RE: Attraction. - 6/26/2006 5:44:47 PM   
sublizzie


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Status: offline 		Actually I have been drawn to Doms who had little money and little by way of looks but had a very strong dominant energy. It's the energy I'm looking for. Other people may be different than me. I may be unique in this. But I'm definitely not doing the touchy-feely thing here. I have friends who know the Doms I've been drawn to and they understand the energy I'm talking about.

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RE: Attraction. - 6/26/2006 5:46:45 PM   
DesertRat


Posts: 2774
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From: NM/USA
Status: offline 		The only factor I can single out with any confidence is intelligence. That's a definite plus. As for all the other stuff? Hell, I could never quantify those things. I could name lots of traits, but the mix, the ratio, the balance? Beats me. Something that draws me to one girl might make me turn away from another. Makes alot of sense, doesn't it? yeah...right...

Why do I love a girl? Because I do.

Bob

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RE: Attraction. - 6/26/2006 5:47:03 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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quote:


My attraction is based on the persons awareness of self and their ability to communicate that effectively out into the world.

"That answer is so good it should have been mine." -Jack Black, High Fidelity

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RE: Attraction. - 6/26/2006 5:48:07 PM   
sensiia


Posts: 103
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie

My initial draw is to their energy. There is a dominant energy that I am drawn to that has nothing to do with looks and everything to do with their natural dominance. Once I've ascertained that much, I start looking at their behaviors and beliefs. But the first drawing point, for me, is their dominant energy.


sublizzie I am in total agreeance with you here. When I worked at my former employment there was a Gentleman that would come in for lunch and have business meetings, the power I felt from him was overwhelming. Turned out he was a Dom and made sure I always served him *grin*.

In reply to the OP what is wrong with having a difference of opinion whether it be politics or the like. Wouldn't it get boring constantly agreeing on the same things? No individuality? You talk of a physical attraction which I can agree with. I like a certain type yet I overlook that when there is a personality that alone could make me drop to my knees. Deal breakers for me are someone who is unkempt, doesn't take care of themself and lacks good hygiene.

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RE: Attraction. - 6/26/2006 5:55:10 PM   
MstrTiger


Posts: 417
Joined: 1/14/2006
From: UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

I agree Chaingang, I think a lot of time what people put down to intution is really just "feelings" gathered inside you based on your past experience...which can be a good or bad thing..not always positive and at best...unreliable.

If peoples "gut insticnts" were 100% reliable we would have a billion lotto winners everyday *grin*


I think that is a very good point, I think intuition also needs intellect to back it up, it leads on to questioning what aspects of being attracted to someone or not are innate and which ones develop through experience?

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RE: Attraction. - 6/26/2006 6:00:40 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrTiger

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

Ive been attracted to many differant types of men / women over the years. I think its animal attraction, instinctive, either there or its not.


I agree totally, though what do you think the factors behind it being there or not are?


I don't think there is a common factor for me. If i attempt to analyse all the men / women i have dated (it wud take forever lol) to find that common link i dont think it would be there. The only feasible thing i can come up with is smell. Apparently when we are available, unavailable emotionally we give out different smells. I have always spent a lot of time snuggled up to my men with my nose buried in their neck smelling them. The connection / the factor? I just don't know. 

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to MstrTiger)
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RE: Attraction. - 6/26/2006 6:03:45 PM   
MstrTiger


Posts: 417
Joined: 1/14/2006
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sensiia

quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie

My initial draw is to their energy. There is a dominant energy that I am drawn to that has nothing to do with looks and everything to do with their natural dominance. Once I've ascertained that much, I start looking at their behaviors and beliefs. But the first drawing point, for me, is their dominant energy.


sublizzie I am in total agreeance with you here. When I worked at my former employment there was a Gentleman that would come in for lunch and have business meetings, the power I felt from him was overwhelming. Turned out he was a Dom and made sure I always served him *grin*.

In reply to the OP what is wrong with having a difference of opinion whether it be politics or the like. Wouldn't it get boring constantly agreeing on the same things? No individuality? You talk of a physical attraction which I can agree with. I like a certain type yet I overlook that when there is a personality that alone could make me drop to my knees. Deal breakers for me are someone who is unkempt, doesn't take care of themself and lacks good hygiene.


I agree with you on the hygiene thing, I just used politics as quick example though having said that I am quite left wing in my politics and I don’t think I could be involved with someone who was extremely right wing I would see the resulting constant arguments as being worse than constantly agreeing.

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RE: Attraction. - 6/26/2006 6:07:55 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sensiia

quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie

My initial draw is to their energy. There is a dominant energy that I am drawn to that has nothing to do with looks and everything to do with their natural dominance. Once I've ascertained that much, I start looking at their behaviors and beliefs. But the first drawing point, for me, is their dominant energy.


sublizzie I am in total agreeance with you here. When I worked at my former employment there was a Gentleman that would come in for lunch and have business meetings, the power I felt from him was overwhelming. Turned out he was a Dom and made sure I always served him *grin*.


You know, when I ordered my "How To Be A World Class Dominate" online study course, I did not recieve any sort of aura or energy doohickey. I did get a decoder ring though......
 

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RE: Attraction. - 6/26/2006 6:07:56 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		Ditto, self awareness number one, efective communication number two but me being me, i have to add: lovely cock will always get an A+ from me...

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

My attraction is based on the persons awareness of self and their ability to communicate that effectively out into the world.


_____________________________


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